Absurd Arguments

Once upon a time there was a podcast called Absurd Arguments. It was hosted by two very distinguished gentlemen, Nathan and Matthew. One day they decided to record an episode about Choose Your Own Adventure books. "Alas, I don't own one of those books anymore," whined Matthew whiningly. "It's cool," reassured Nathan reassuringly. "There's a website we can us...

Are you suffering from boredom? Do you wish you could be rescued from the villain called I-Don't-Know-What-to-Listen-to Man? Well, never fear, for Absurd Arguments is here in their most heroic episode yet! Our hosts, Nathan and Matthew, have finally tackled the topic of superheroes. They cover some of the most important things a hero must consider. Should they work alone? What about with a te...

Okay, hmm, so which classic graduation cliche should we use to start this description? "Congradulations!" Nah. "Fellow seniors: wow. Who would have thought we would finally make it to the end of the school year!?" Nope, we're not smart enough to be Vals or Sals. I got it! "Graduates, as you end this chapter of your life and begin the next, listen to Absurd Arguments a...

In this world, there are two types of creatures: birds and everything else. It's about time birds got their due, to rise up and push back against the bourgeoisie of everything else is now! And Nathan and Matthew are the ones to lead us in this feathered revolution. They talk about such avian topics like famous bird sports teams, great bird insults, cool bird talents, and even true American ic...

Ah, springtime. A time when birds are yelling at each other, the bees are buzzing at each other, the crickets are chirping in the background... which is kind of annoying. But have you ever wondered what makes these creatures so freaking noisy? That's right, it's all because of flowers.* They make people do interesting things, too. We give them away on first dates. We lay them on people&a...

Uggggghhhhhhh. Have you ever record something you regret later? One of our hosts, Nathan, does, but Matthew does not. One of these goobers* came up with the great idea to compare name-brand sodas (or pop) with their knockoff equivalent to see which is better. Anyway, it was quite the experience and they recorded it for your listening pleasure. Enjoy! *This was 100% Nathan's idea. Matthew is a...

Greetings, fair listeners! Matthew and Nathan have finally achieved a monumental milestone: they have recorded and released EPISODE 50 of Absurd Arguments! And what a special episode it is. They begin with a skit (that is 100% accurate) detailing the humble beginnings of this podcast. It will certainly make you laugh and cry, perhaps at the same time! Then, in honor of the quickly approaching Osca...

"Boxing Day! Boxing Day! Boxing Day is here! There's no other holiday greater at this time of year!" That’s the chorus to one of the most famous Boxing Day carols ever written. Does it explain what Boxing Day is? No. Fortunately your hosts, Matthew and Nathan, are here to celebrate the holiday with you! Is Boxing Day about punching your neighbor? Watching the Premier League by using...

In a world where Christmas happens every year, two men with a podcast delve into the depths to find terrible Christmas movies. Once found, this brave duo watches the film to discuss it afterwards. Are they brave? Gluttons for punishment? Or maybe they just like absurd things? It's probably all of the above! Continuing a tradition they regret ever starting, Matthew and Nathan are here to discu...

Hello folks! Thanks for tuning into Absurd Arguments! Our hosts, Matthew and Nathan, are taking a well-deserved break from all the tiring, exhausting, and back-breaking work that recording this podcast entails. Instead of the usual format, they're playing a game called Superfight. To help our hosts moderate the game and pick a winner for each round, they have enlisted the service of Nathan&ap...

FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN, LEND ME YOUR ARGUMENTS!  Oh, sorry for yelling at you. I'm just so excited for this episode of Absurd Arguments. Matthew and Nathan will be arguing over friendship (not ancient Rome, but next time for sure). If you've ever wondered whether it's better to have many friends or just one or two (like Matthew), then this episode is for you! Maybe you just wan...

Gather around dear listeners, but beware! ’Tis the Witching Hour, an awful time when witches and wizards roam the land searching for little girls and boys to turn into toads, salamanders, or sentient vacuum cleaners (happened to my cousin once). But not all wizards and witches are created equal of course. In fact, some may even be harmless! Fortunately, Matthew and Nathan have devised a special ra...

Philosophy. One man's least favorite subject in school is another man's mental playground. An old, rusty, rickety one in a bad part of town. In this episode, our hosts, Nathaniel Hume and Matthew Descartes, will play on this mental playground. Of the two, Matthew is the most prepared and excited while Nathan wishes he could sit on a mental bench and play his Game Boy Advance. But before...

Ahhhhhhh... Fall is finally here. The leaves on the trees are changing color (though that might be because it's so hot here in Texas), the weather is cooling down (from 90° to 80°), and we're nearing the end of the year (which isn't special to Texas). To bring in the new season, our hosts Matthew and Nathan want to bring in the cozy season by talking about how each of our 5 senses w...

Hello friends and family, If you are reading this, then Matthew and Nathan have either been abducted by aliens or faked their own deaths to live it up in Tahiti. In case they haven't completely drained their bank accounts, all the money they have made from this podcast is now yours (but don't hold your breath). Anyway, if Matthew has not input the daily code verifying he is alive and wel...

Jobs – we all have at least one. Except for maybe children. The thing is, not all jobs are equal. Some jobs are cushy and boring, like lawyers and accountants. While other jobs are pointless and shouldn't exist, like Instagram influencers and philosophy teachers. But the real backbone of every healthy country is the blue collar jobs. Fortunately, our hosts Matthew and Nathan argue about which...

Have you ever looked up at the sky and wondered, "Gee, I wonder what's up there?" Lucky for you our absurd hosts know the answer: it's space! Yep, all that stuff like planets, moons, stars, and universes is the S P A C E. Today our hosts tackle this subject with all the gravity it deserves. Is space really the final frontier? Are we gonna live on the moon first or Mars? And wil...

April 1, 2024 Dear dairy, ugh, I mean diary. Wouldn't that be weird to write my thoughts to dairy products! Like, "Hi Milk, today I'm hanging out with my good, good friend Matthew." Or "Dear Cheese, Matthew wanted to show me something on his TV or whatever." Hahaha! Anywho, Matthew and I probably need to talk about our next podcast episode. Not sure what it'll be...

Woohoo! It’s spring break for our hosts, Matthew and Nathan. Shockingly, instead of staring into the void waiting for their break to end, they decided to go to the beach! Since it's a vacation, they don't plan to do much arguing at all, but absurdity can strike at any moment, especially at the beach itself. What will our beach-combing boys do? Will they go in the water? Fight off sharks...

Ah, childhood. All of us have had one (some better than others), so it's safe to assume we all dabbled in playing games at one time in our lives. Today, our beloved and extremely popular hosts Matthew and Nathan will argue over which childhood game is the best. Is it chess? Checkers? Tag? Hide and Seek? Or one of the two most brutal friendship killing games in history: Uno and Monopoly? Lucki...

Valentine's Day has come and gone. Couples the world over have acted all lovey-dovey with each other, chocolates and flowers have been exchanged, and romantic dinners have been eaten. What's next for these sappy couples? Getting engaged of course! Who better to give advice on proposals than our favorite bachelors, Matthew and Nathan! Listen in as they argue over proposal styles and engag...

It's wintertime here at the Absurd Arguments office, and nothing beats the cold better than reading a good book beside a blazing fire. Just kidding. That's a lie. We're from Texas and the weather here fluctuates from windy and cold to sunny and warm (sometimes on the same day). But our hosts, Matthew and Nathan, do enjoy reading along with their other fun hobby of arguing over absur...

Martin Luther King, Jr. was a hero to many and an inspiration to even more. No one can deny that, not even our professional absurd arguers, Nathan and Matthew. The thing is, America needs more holidays based on fine Americans (except one of our hosts forgot it was supposed to be about Americans, so some rando from foreign waters is on here, too). Who better to vouch for these patriots (+1) than ou...

Hello. Matthew here. Nathan is out on vacation, but I wanted to make sure you guys start your new year off right! We have a special guest this episode, and he gives GREAT advice and is totally not involved with the mafia or has any ties with them whatsoever. Enjoy this episode! *Disclaimer* Breaking the law is not cool, so don't do that. It's illegal. Email: absurdarguments4u@gmail.com F...

’Tis the season for another episode of Absurd Arguments! Matthew and Nathan are here to deliver like joint Santas of podcasting. But they bring goofy arguments instead of gifts, starting the festivities with another round of torture in “Which Is Worse!” The main event is another brawl in the ring of awful romantic Christmas movies. In one corner, Holiday in Handcuffs , and in the other, Christmas...