Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen

"No Mr Bond, I expect you to die" Episode 115 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1964 ejector seating, bowler hat tossing, Pussy Galoring classic Goldfinger. Ryan and Mark discuss why bullying needs to return, whether it is illegal to suckle on a cow or Bill Clinton and Nelson expresses his sheer joy about finally tackling a Bond film. Please get in touch and let u...

"Hey, look! It's a cock, but smaller" Episode 114 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 pink misting, Deer Hunter viewing, bored in the deserting classic Jarhead. Mark and Ryan talk about how Nelson's tour is going, argue over who is the most handsome actor and the funniest way to die on D Day. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what gu...

"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse." Episode 113 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1972 horse heading, tollbooth massacring, connoli taking classic The Godfather. Ryan and Mark discuss Christmas ads, Lily Allen and the size of Sonny Corleone's dong. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episod...

"I am a peacock, you gotta let me fly" Episode 112 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 TLC quoting, Gator pimping, Dirty Mike and The Boys-ing classic The Other Guys. Ryan and Mark discuss first getting Sky TV, where we rank in ugly podcasters and the comedy genius of Michael Keaton.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you...

"The power of Christ compels you" Episode 111 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1973 head spinning, pea soup vomiting, Mother sucks cocks in hell-ing classic The Exorcist. Ryan and Mark discuss their Halloween costumes, misogyny in the car and why we love big Pazuzu. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in...

"My old scoutmaster used to say 'If the shortcut was a shortcut, it wouldn't be called a shortcut, it would be called a route" Episode 110 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2017 off license murdering, Swedish hiking, sacrifice to a massive goating classic The Ritual. Ryan and Mark discuss why men like each other more than women, the neediness of Gods and Nelson gi...

"Aaaaaaaddddddddrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiaaaaaaaannnnnnnn" Episode 109 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1976 meat pounding, stair running, Italian Stallioning classic Rocky. Ryan and Mark discuss online trolls, Chat GPTs writing us some jokes and the morals of allowing someone with learning difficulties take on a world title fight. Please get in touch and let us know if y...

"Rubber dinghy rapids bro." Episode 108 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 bleach buying, crow exploding, Dancing In The Moonlighting classic Four Lions. Ryan and Mark discuss taking photos at Auschwitz, Donald Trump impressions and why this is the darkest comedy you will see.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd lik...

"Would you mind lending me your wife?" Episode 107 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 old man pumping, brick metaphoring, hippo auctioning classic Indecent Proposal. Ryan and Mark discuss memorials, dirty talk in bed and ask why the fuck Billy Connolly is in this film. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see...

"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM" Episode 106 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 primo noctusing, York sacking, hung drawn and quaretering classic Blraveheart. Ryan and Mark discuss soap operas, multiple celebrity deaths and try to figure out whether anything in this film is accurate.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to...

"I just want to be perfect" Episode 105 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 pirouette-ing, plié-ing, arabesque-ing classic Black Swan. Ryan and Mark discuss pickling things, what you would do if you won the lottery and why most actors don't deserve to win Oscars. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in f...

"What's in the box"? Episode 104 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 force feeding, Wild Bill leathering, deadly sinning classic Se7en. Ryan and Mark discuss being in the Outer Hebrides, how you lamp someone and the best way to prevent being sexually assaulted in prison.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to se...

"Your name is Kal-El. You are the only survivor of the planet Krypton." Episode 103 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1978 earth spinning, cape swaying, fortress of solituding classic Superman. Ryan and Mark discuss the Fringe, unappreciative children and whether there was any need to see baby Superman's penis.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the...

"Give a guy a gun, he thinks he's Superman. Give him two and he thinks he's God." Episode 102 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird cage smashing, library assassining, shootout baby carrying classic Hard Boiled. Ryan and Mark discuss losing to the homeless, shite trains and why Hong Kong's police force is the worst in the world.  Please get in touch and let...

"Are you gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite?" Episode 101 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 ear-slicing,  Like A Virgin-ing, Super Sounds of the 70's-ing, classic Reservoir Dogs. Ryan and Mark discuss their festival weekend, The Lionnesses and Nelson suggests this film created podcasts. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the...

"Here's to swimming with bow-legged women" Episode 100 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1975 child eating, barrel raising, farewell and adieuing classic, abd GREATEST FILM EVER MADE Jaws.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email :  absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.co...

"For me the action is the juice" Episode 99 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 armoured car ramming, street shootouting, GREAT ASSing classic Heat. Ryan and Mark talk about the deaths of Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan, the Coldplay couple and decide on who is better, Pacino or De Niro. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you...

"Nobody puts baby in the corner" Episode 98 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987 watermelon carrying, backstreet abortioning, time of my lifeing classic Dirty Dancing. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson's holiday scam, autistic celebrities and why Swayze deserved a better career. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like t...

"I told you I'm different. I could have dropped you with the sharks." Episode 97 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 Sphinx squatting, Colliseum scrapping, blond Samuel L Jacksoning disaster Jumper. Ryan and Mark talk about things being gay, Cullen ruining yet another Whatsapp group and why Hayden Christiansen has less charisma than a toilet roll tube.  Please...

"Sell me this pen." Episode 96 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2013 dwarf tossing, lude tanning, fun couponing classic The Wolf Of Wall Street. Ryan and Mark talk about Bonnie Blue, lawless golf and whether this film glamourises being a horrible human being.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future...

"I say kill them all, and let fate sort out the mess." Episode 95 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 keyboard smashing, rat exploding, bullet bending classic Wanted. Ryan and Mark talk about fridges, the population of Andorra and what Arnold Schwarzenegger says during sex.   Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like t...

"Have you ever heard the expression "Let sleeping dogs lie"? Sometimes you're better off not knowing." Episode 94 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1974 water warring, nose slicing, sister and daughtering classic Chinatown. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson dying his hair again, World War 3 and the horribleness of Roman Polanski.  Please get in touch and let us know...

"Did you ever get busted for bopping?" Episode 93 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984 tractor chickening, mill swinging, Sunday shoe kicking offing disaster Footloose Ryan and Mark talk about the size of Cullen balls, Chat GPT and why no one in the film can actually dance. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to s...

“Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.” Episode 92 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 enamel making, red coat wearing, hope reaffirming classic Schindler's List. Ryan and Mark talk about Sydney Sweeney's bath water, mental books for kids and find out a wild nearly casting for this film. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, wh...

"This is not mission difficult, Mr. Hunt, it's mission impossible. 'Difficult' should be a walk in the park for you." Episode 91 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 , rock climbing, disease creating, motorbike jousting classic Mission Impossible II. Ryan and Mark talk about farting on cakes, Napoli and why Ethan Hunt is the way he is with women. Please get in t...