A Cynical Optimist

Moved into a new house! Got high off of our work supply. Trying to buy a car sucks! Tipping comes up again cause it’s me. Dinosaurs get paid peanuts in new Jurassic movie!

What happened to batgirl was equivalent to somebody passing. The mist movie had the best or worst ending. Let’s stop experimenting on shit! I know more about law then most internet cops!

Not knowing when you’re in the good ole days. Eat what you want just don’t bring it around me. What happened to NFTs? Did you realize it was just a screenshot you paid 2 million for?

They sell us our memories in a funko pop. You gotta be fast if you’re gonna catch a trend! Zumiez had the most smokers per capita. Best Buy charging me for bag technology. I scared myself right into a scary story!

SDCC happened and bad CGI makes people not believe Groot is real. The streets on the internet are tough! Being punk rock is cool now so stop being so punk about it! And finally shoutout Sean!

Don’t talk up an artist or musician just tell them you love their stuff and get out of there! I hate social experiments recorded for the internet. There are some people that are truly in love walking everywhere together! Was the whole world just really talented at trick shots?

On the way to Austin me and my wife talk about the bands fiddlehead and no pressure and how we discovered them. What it meant to be straight edge. As a bonus we recap how the show went!

I get way to passionate about how much donkey balls my city sucks. Is porn a big deal? Nothing really matters cause we are on a rock rotating with other rocks in a rotating motion!

Movie and music reviews take the experience out of just consuming it. What I would do if I won the lotto! And it doesn’t even start with buying stuff. It is official I am old and not keeping up with the times!

It’s different now that I am the new Mr. Worldwide. I might want to live in the middle of nowhere soon. I’m up to my old ways with time travel talk to which I know so little about. Has innovation slowed down? Or, do I just now know what I’m talking about! Find out!

First time bringing up a deep and sad topic. Shrinkflation is absolutely out of pocket! No need to worry if you’re a freak cause the internet has a place just for you!

It’s a good one this week! Me and my wife did a road trip podcast on the way to see the carousel tour with Anthony Green and Laura Jane Grace! We talk all topics on this trip so it was hard for me to narrow down what we did talk about. Also when you think the podcast is over we give you a encore on how the show went!

I dive deep into things I have no business in talking about…the multiverse! Mandela effects prove my point! All these songs about growing up and I still did it! Drink some more water it’s only 110 calories! We are savages and will always be!

My generations attention to detail is wild. What will they have us consume next?! Getting famous reciting lyrics is how you become famous and also having drakes next kid. Amber and Johnny trial is really shitting the bed.

New dating love shows are out of pocket! I could of been apart of alpha dog easily! The Beatles finally broke through to me!…sort of…I mean ok they did!

Get embarrassed it’s cool! A joke lends badly for one guy but makes me laugh forever! Air BNB but for stuff you don’t want to store anymore! I came up with a genius app idea! Early days of apps and websites. Being who you are from the jump is what I strived for and appreciate!

Family trip to the zoo! Bruce will and Jim Carey retiring! Support cause you want to not cause you have to! Where do ideas come from? I burn material because let’s be honest…will I ever use it?!

Officially made it to one year of the pod! Rest In Peace Taylor Hawkins! Will Smith gave his best performance ever! The internet is only 12,081 days old! We eat enough plastics to poop a credit card! What else will be apart of the earths DLC? I’m not my heritage but certain things are cool.

Can’t say yeah man without thinking of a disturbed parody. Why do we still ask for love advice? Thoughts that live in my head rent free. Tube men are distracting. Kim and Kanye were a setup. Do I need adderall? Weed never worked out for me.

Almost a year of the pod and I have talked about nothing! Red dead redemption is to good of a game. Pam and tommy was the first viral video. Daylight savings can finally be over thanks to me! Have friends that can speak bit! The Batman was great but you already knew that! The time I TP’d a house and found out it got way worse for the house later!

You know the message always doing what you love! I can create a conspiracy theory no problem! Ill never believe my own theory! Covid can’t be your excuse anymore! If I were president dayligjt savings would be over!

Bumping my head, Kanye doc was inspiring, I miss you video was weird from the jump! Don’t put me in a box! To much content makes you miss out on so much!

In this episode I talk about how documentaries are made to fast about their real life subjects. Why are you try to cancel Aquafina and not Dasani? How did get here? And when we got here why did We suck so bad at just being here?

Getting on the other side of Covid I think? Joe Rogan does numbers and Neil Young can count numbers. Is there such a thing as Christian porn? Does kitchen technology need an upgrade? Could a food shortage make us shredded?

On this episode I ponder the question what does the perfect steak taste like. Fast food rules if you want that extra cash. They are running out of ideas for tv shows! You would be so lucky to be able to complain!