The Living Marriages Podcast | Effective Communication, Intimacy, Healthy Habits, Christian Counseling, Christian Parenting

All You Need Is Love??? Popular culture tells us that love is the only ingredient a marriage needs. Songs by Frank Sinatra and The Beatles make it sound simple. However, believing this myth can lead to division and heartbreak. Love is vital, but a thriving marriage requires more.   In this episode, we explore the truth about what makes a marriage work. We look at how love, identity, trust and safe...

What do you do when your spouse is the problem? So many of us feel stuck in marriages where our partner doesn't seem to understand us, or isn't willing to change. What are we supposed to do? While marriage is certainly a team effort, sometimes the starting place has to be with me. In this episode, we dive into: Renewing your mind: Exploring the practical application of Romans 12:2 in the midst of...

"What are we even fighting about anymore?" Have you ever wondered this when fighting with your spouse about money, the in-laws, or even what to have for dinner for the umpteenth time? While these issues matter, underneath the arguments are fundamental, unresolved pain points. As we trigger one another, we find ourselves spiralling in unhealthy conflict.   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith of The Raabsm...

Have you ever felt like you and your spouse have lost the "Spark?" That sense of connection, excitement, romance and curiosity that burned brightly in those early days of your relationship? You are not alone. As the stress and busyness of life pile up, it's common for many couples to find themselves experiencing "roommate syndrome" where there is no open hostility or indifference but rather just a...

We recently had the pleasure of chatting with a couple who had been married for 60 years! When asked the one indispensable thing in their marriage, their answer was "friendship." The Gottman Institute is celebrating 30 years of serving marriages and recently compiled a list of 30 things they've learned over the years about love. The number one thing? "Friendship is the foundation of lasting love."...

Intimacy is one of our favourite topics at the Living Marriages Podcast and we've talked about many kinds of intimacy, both in and beyond the bedroom. On this episode, we talk about what it looks like to connect on an intellectual or interest level: We define what intellectual intimacy is How to connect even when your spouse's interest is not your own (including the appreciation of clouds) Practic...

Self-care is an extremely important part of being a healthy and present spouse and parent in any marriage and family. But what if what we're doing to care for ourselves is actually doing us and our marriage more harm than good? In today's conversation we look at: Why self-care may look different for different people Why we need to remain open to the kind of self-care God is leading us into Why sel...

Are things feeling stressful and chaotic in your marriage or with your kids? What if there was a way to reduce the stress in your family through  conversation? On this episode, we explore: How we can hold each other's "emotional balloons" (curious? Make sure to tune in and find out more about this image God gave April!) What a "stress-reducing conversation" is and why it can be so beneficial 8 gui...

Assumptions always complicate marriages. However, when two people are coming from two different cultures, those assumptions can seem worlds apart. Today's guests, Pesa and Whitney Shayo of liveyourbestmarriage.com have been navigating the challenges and opportunities of an inter-cultural marriage for 22 years and have been helping others do the same, finding a Christ-centred marriage. In our conve...

It's summer and we've finally had some good summer weather! While our family is enjoying some time together in God's creation, we hope you'll enjoy this episode from our archives that explores another good gift from God's creation - sex! ----- Is sex something that has brought you and your spouse closer together, or has it been a pain point in your marriage? Is sex something you can talk about fre...

Whether you have children or not, our rhythms in North America revolve around the school year with summer being a time to relax and vacation. Fall is fast around the corner though and that means that routines and busyness will begin again. Have you and your spouse had a conversation about what your fall looks like yet? Are there too many good things in your schedule that will keep you from the gre...

Whether you are parents or not, God has placed children in your life. While parents are the primary disciplers of their children, God has also given those children a community of adults who can model faith and speak God's love and wisdom into their lives. The question God is inviting us to consider in this episode is: are you praying for those children? Whether for your own kids or someone else's,...

We live in such a divided world today that even family gatherings can be incredible sources of tensions. What can we talk about without somebody exploding? How can we ever truly connect, so that we can know others and be known? If you are feeling that tension in some of your relationships or even in your marriage, this conversation is for you! What if curiosity could help us lower the tension? Wha...

For many of us, finances cause us a lot of grief and confusion or even worse, it can lead to bitterness and strife in our marriages. Often that stress comes from "clutter" in our finances, e.g. not understanding how much is coming in or going out, what is important to us or our spouse.  In this episode, we heed God's invitation to begin to declutter our finances by: admitting we need help having a...

We had the best of intentions. A wonderful anniversary trip away. Time spent with each other and the Lord visioning what he was calling our family to. We were so excited to implement our family vision as soon as we got home! And then we came home to the clutter and the chaos. We've been struggling to implement our vision since so we decided we need to start by decluttering first.  Note: This episo...

Drama. Even as God's image-bearers, drama is a reality of our fallen human experience. Often within our marriages and our families, we step into drama in one of three ways: as the victim, persecutor or rescuer. We can often cycle through these different roles in our family systems or even in our own perspectives. As we continue to cycle through these roles, we continue to live in drama. Thankfully...

In Nehemiah 12, we see God's people gather to celebrate God's goodness and faithfulness to his people through a difficult time in their history. We also see God giving us a blueprint for how worship in song matters and can transform our marriages families. In worship: God reminds us that our story is a part of his bigger story God renews our minds and our relationships God invites us to rejoice be...

A recent conversation with a stranger with grown kids got us thinking about the direction our family and our marriage are going. We've only got so much time with our kids at home to disciple them and model for them the values we feel God calling us to. How are we doing? In this conversation we talk about: Why today is the day to start making decisions about your family's directions and why it's ne...

We are away this week celebrating our 15th anniversary so we wanted to share one of our favourite episodes from the Living Marriages archive...our first conversation with Dr. John Littlejohn. We'll be back with fresh content next week. Enjoy! Have you wondered what people mean when they say they want Christ "at the centre" of their marriage? What does it look like to hear the voice of God in our m...

Have you ever gone through times when you've felt distant from God; when it feels like he isn't present? Or maybe you're so consumed by the current struggle that you don't even have the mental or emotional capacity to remember his goodness and faithfulness in times past. It is so easy to forget that the God that we serve is with us in the midst of it all; loving us. Sometimes he even surprises us...

Early on in their marriage, Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith thought they would help others in their marriage. They were both in seminary receiving excellent training, they both had a heart to help others. Little did they know that even though they would help others in their marriage, God needed to do a deep work in their marriage first. It began by confronting the lie that was at the centre of their...

Routine is good. In fact, our family tends to thrive on routine! However, making space for adventure and spontaneity is also good. In fact, we'd say it's an essential part of being human. If we are made in the image of God and he is creative, we need space for fun and creativity as well. We know...it takes effort to be spontaneous and energy to seek playfulness and adventure. But the payoff for yo...

After tragedy struck their family, Ian and Courtney Hogaboam heard from God. It started with a recurring dream for Courtney and it ended up with Jesus becoming the centre of their lives and their marriage. Since then, Ian and Courtney have become dear friends, regular listeners of the Living Marriages Podcast and marriage mentees. In our conversation, we discover: How Jesus sought them out in diff...

Assertiveness, Assumptions, Aggression: only one of these things is healthy in a marriage (hint: it's the first one!) Assertiveness is critical for any marriage as it allows us to be seen and heard and it rescues us from assumptions. However, it does not come easy for many of us though, owing to past wounding, personality type or even an unsafe space to express ourselves in marriage. For others, a...

In the hands of the enemy, differences can be used to drive our marriages and families apart. But in the hands of the Holy Spirit joined with curious and humble hearts, differences can truly strengthen a marriage. In this episode you'll hear about: How assumptions can kill your relationship The 80/20 rule when it comes to understanding gender differences The critical importance of curiosity in you...