That Wasn't The Plan

This week, we dispense wisdom. Some of it useful. Some of it… less so. From brain candy books and existential dread to air fryer eggs, dry skin trauma, and the radical notion of simply not giving up, Emily and Courtney share the life advice they’ve collected, ignored, rediscovered, and occasionally weaponised. There are thoughts on fear, presence, kindness, and why you should probably talk to your...

Courtney's tooth fell out again. Emily's hair is orange. Sarah Beth's pit bull has a pink belly. We're off. Somewhere in the middle of all that, we talk about Rosemary — Courtney's dear friend, gone two years this week. She spent her life helping traumatized kids and reminded us that hurt people don't just hurt people. Hurt people heal people. Then it gets weird (weir...

This week, we sit down with my friend Jen Quam Howell (JQ), who—on an otherwise unremarkable night—was woken up by her husband with the words no one prepares for: “The house is on fire. We have to go.” What follows is exactly what you’d expect and nothing like you’d expect. Three young kids. One terrifying exit down a burning staircase. A total loss. A hotel room that becomes “hometel.” And a comm...

Los Angeles, as it turns out, is less a city and more a series of increasingly poor decisions strung together by sunshine. This week, Courtney shares a perfectly normal collection of experiences: flagging down her own mugger, accepting a ride from a man who openly admits to past home invasions, being called a “loser” by a spiritual-looking stranger, and—naturally—being offered a glimpse of someone...

What happens when you grow up in a deeply religious household where sex is forbidden, masturbation is sinful, and heaven is apparently keeping score? You wait. This week we’re joined by our brilliant friend Sarah Beth Schooley Wood—champion swimmer, Antarctica bride, and (for a surprisingly long time) a very committed virgin. We talk purity culture, religious guilt, awkward first times, late bloom...

What begins as a chic business-class flight to Italy (because we’re grown now) quickly devolves into a transatlantic U-turn, a missing suitcase, an Amtrak sprint through Washington, D.C., a possibly intoxicated Uber driver declaring “Ma’am, I’m gonna get you there,” and approximately fourteen emotional breakdowns. There are trains. There are planes. There is public weeping. There is emergency ling...

At 22, Matt Holland dove into shallow water, broke his neck, and immediately knew something was very wrong.  This episode has it all: lake house chaos, a midnight helicopter ride, ICU absurdity, fingers-in-the-butt medical exams, and erections.  It’s funny. It’s uncomfortable. It’s very honest. And it’s about what happens when your body stops—but your will doesn’t. Support the show

This week, Colleen Heiber joins us to discuss being left before the wedding… and almost leaving someone herself. Six weeks out. Invitations printed. Rose petals purchased. Dumpster involved. We talk red flags, baby fever (and losing it), jam bands, online dating in your late 30s, youth-pastor energy, and the radical act of asking, “Are you sure?” It’s funny. It’s brutal. It’s hopeful. It’s proof t...

What begins as a casual conversation about hair drifts, quite naturally, into fake fangs, missing teeth, addiction, dentures, dental debt, sobriety, and one impressively pragmatic trip to Mexico shortly after losing all top teeth. It’s painful, absurd, and unexpectedly funny—a story about shame, survival, and rebuilding a smile without the benefit of enamel. Dental insurance, as ever, is the real...

Bed bugs: not a moral failing, not a cleanliness issue, and definitely not part of the plan. This week, we’re joined by Dr. Dini Miller—Virginia Tech professor, urban entomology legend, and all-around badass—to talk what bed bugs actually are, how people really get them, why panic makes everything worse, and what actually works. Equal parts horrifying, hilarious, and strangely comforting. Lint rol...

Just because children never blessed our loins doesn't mean we don't kinda like them. Well, we do, and we don't.  Babies, motherhood, and the quiet panic of doing life “wrong.” In Not My Circus , Emily and Courtney talk being child-free by choice, by chance, and by biology—with honesty, dark humor, rockin’ nipples, and zero judgment. A conversation about listening to your own small v...

Courtney’s original life plan was simple: keep drinking, keep using, quietly disappear. Sobriety was not the plan — but it turned out to be the thing that gave her a bigger, funnier, fuller life than she ever imagined. In this episode, we talk addiction, shame, strawberries, bad decisions, dark humor, and why getting sober didn’t end her life — it finally gave her a life worth living.  Show Notes:...

Both Emily and Courtney have had their run-ins with homelessness—sometimes more than once. This week, we delve into what it’s like to live without a roof over your head—and the bizarre blend of humor, humility, and resilience that comes with it. The little moments, the quiet dignity, and the unexpected things you discover about yourself when stability takes a hike. Honest, imperfect, and somehow m...

Friendship breakups: somehow more devastating than romantic ones, and with none of the sympathy cards. In Episode 2, we unpack platonic divorces, alcoholism, bad judgment, recovery, and how two former best friends managed to survive each other long enough to start a podcast. Poor choices were made.  Show Notes: Summary In this episode, Emily and Courtney explore the complexities of platonic friend...

Courtney asks Emily shallow questions about her breast cancer. We laugh and get real. It's not a joke until you wake up with a soul patch downstairs.  Show Notes: Summary In this episode, Emily White shares her personal journey of being diagnosed with breast cancer, detailing the emotional and physical challenges she faced. From the initial discovery of a lump to navigating the medical system...

Are you ready to laugh, cry, and cringe at life's hilarious messes? Well then, you're in the perfect spot. Join Emily and Courtney as they discuss the chaotic moments that threw us off course, screwed up our day, made us leap with joy, and helped us grow.  Rein in your kids, pop some popcorn, and diaper your dog. We're about to jump in.  Support the show