Hella Hallmark

I normally have a lot of fun writing these dumbass descriptions. I normally have fun watching and talking about these movies. I am unsure of how to describe the soul crushing emptiness that was left after consuming this film. After watching this I never want to wear shoes again, in fact I'm not sure if I even want to have feet any longer. Watch the movie. Don’t watch the movie. I'm not your mother...

When your ex-fiance rolls through and wants to take another crack at your goodies but you have to curb him so you can solve the cold case murder of a con woman all while demostrating how much of a fucking top you are. Ruby Herringn Mysteries: Prediction Murder 2020.

Remember that time you stubbed your toe on the way the bathroom in the middle of the night and you shouted that swear word and pissed yourself? I'm not entirely certain what that has to do with this movie but Dereks back bitch. Ruby Herring Mysteries: Her Last Breath 2019.

Have you ever wondered if your fitbit could be used by a consumer awareness reporter to solve your murder? Neither have I, but Sugar Albert can get it. Ruby Herring Mysteries: Silent Witness - 2019

When you're hearbroken on vacation, nothing takes your mind off the hurt like unpaid labor and the intestinal distress of eating nothing but chocolate for 2 weeks. "Love, Romance & Chocolate" 2019.

Remember that time you had to go to the clinic becauase of that summer fling you had...this isn't that or as fun. "Love Under the Olive Tree" 2020.

Hannah Swensen gets baked and serves cake in "Murder She Baked: A chocolate Chip Mystery" 2015.

A review/roast of Feeling Butterflies 2022.

Mandy Moore gives us a film to remember minus the caner in "Tipline Mysteries: Dial 1 for Murder" 2024

The cultural experience that is "Moonlight in Vermont" 2017