Brilliant Observations

From Action Dick to the gradual lessening of the finger bang, Melissa takes us on a journey of discovery that spans races, cultures and double stuff Oreos. Then, it's the Pope (as you would expect), plus liming, gift giving and the first installment of Ask Me Anything. And given where the content started, it's hard to imagine where these free-for-all questions will lead us next. Happy Mother's Day...

Don't say we didn't warn you, Dear Listener. TikTok is at it again with an obnoxious food-adjacent "snack" that can only be described as relationship-ending. Amy accidentally gropes herself in public (again). And Missy sums up the weekend that was after our 35th college reunion with the DSharps. 

Be smart enough to shred your own cheese. And be worth it, Dear Listener. That's the lesson. In bread and all things, just  be worth it . We hold space for you in our sacred sirloin area as Melissa determines the do's and absolutley do not's when it comes to foreign hands comingling with one's warmed bread.  Plus, we acknowledge the Pope, and cinnamon, and Kenny Rogers, and problematic extended fa...

Fly away, friends! We discuss all sorts of air-based travel this week, Dear Listener, including Dogs on Planes, Birds on Branches and—cue the Muppets—Chicks! In! Space! Missy slips it in again. And Amy neglects her duties. Big. Suprise. Or is it?

An unexpected visit from the cops at midnight prompts Amy to reconsider her parenting techniques. Missy ruminates on why she ruminates. And the deadline for Our Second Act fast approaches—with no resolution in sight. (To say nothing of the poop podcast.) All this on more, Dear Listener. 

Here'e the thing: if you're not experiencing heightened arousal at the sign of a delicately handled kraft paper bag, are you even alive? Join us, Dear Listener, as we journey down the rabbit hole of birthdays, work-husbandry and the half-life of a vat of Hellmann's. 

Oh, Walt. If you could see how they're treating us you'd set fire to Epcot, too. It's Fat Shaming at the Magic Kingdom, Dear Listener, complete with actual weigh-ins and colored wrist bands lest you thought you could escape. Because nothing says vacation like a mandatory weight check before standking for hours in the Orlando sun. Good times.  Missy muses about the business upside of hosting fictit...

If ever one wondered, Dear Listener, please know that sitting is the opposite of standing. Join us as we explore this and other truths this week while Stuart fights for his life after declaring his intention to "clean out" the garage. (Oh dear.) Missy updates us on her rising Legal Eagle. And Amy inxeplicably launches into a Ted Talk on international spam protocols. As one does. It's a laugh riot...

Cadaver Flight, Chikfil-a Wedding Day and Guess What's Under the Mattress—all this and more, on today's Brilliant Observations! Join us, won't you, as Amy shuns Michael Jackson's musical legacy, welcomes appliance repair folk and resists the allure of the prison fork. Meanwhile, Missy does the research on imbiciles getting married, imbiciles making remakes and, of course, imbiciles doing the resea...

Tom Hanks, high maintenance friends and relatable poop talk ( is it , though?) are but some of the conversational gems we bring you this week, Dearest Listener. As always, thank you for tuning in, turning on and turning out for us each and every episode. We love you! 

She's stealing hearts and smelling farts, Dear Listener, so strap in. We've got another cavalcade of nonsense queued up for you this week, including Birthday Party Trauma, Mrs. Bojangles and (my favorite) Broken Chain of Custody Chicken. Weeeeee!  

It's a knock down, drag out, fruit-based fight, Dear Listener, and only one pastry can be the winner. So grab a fork and stick it in your nosy neighbor's ass (because we're done with the niceties this week, also). As always, there's lots to share, lots of laughs, and even more to love. We're so glad you're back. 

Easy, Perv. It only sounds gross. This week, we discuss Superbowl highlights, the merits of microaggression and fun with Florida. Look at us, making friends in every state. Gracious. 

Oh, Dear Listener, dare we show our age whilst we ask: does no one take advice anymore? It's a conundrum, to be sure, especially when you consider how willling and able we are to dish it out. But alas. These young ones today seem contented to flout our ways. Look at them, with their vacation "registries" and luxuriously nonfunctional fingernails. Tsk tsk. To think? How do they wipe?

Tell me 50 attractive, non-sexual traits you seek in a partner (and why Blake Lively has none of them). It's a sweeping conversation this week, Dear Listener, starting deep on Broad Street with Fly, Eagles, Fly and continuing down memory lane into the train wreck that is It Ends With Us. Good thing Missy's here with 30 seconds of penis content. Wang!

What goes down must come up, Dear Listener, at least in terms of gastric juices. Biohazard Amy shares a shocking number of fluid-based mishaps, while Melissa grapples with her authority as a creator of worlds. 

Happy New Year from Dry January Headquarters, Dear Listener. We're coming in HOT this week with a host of penis shaped weather nonsense, the miracle of salt water and Stuart's antics at the Sauna Club. All that plus 30 seconds with Amy, MIssy boards a plane and LISTENERR FEEDBACK (and it's not even Christmas). 

Welp, we made it, Dear Listener. 2024 is officially behind us. And if you're like most, you're feeling remarkably un-verklempt at the passing of said Poo Sandwich. Good news is: we're gearing up for our Best. Year. Eva. And we want you to come with.  Yes, Melissa. I ended a sentence with a with.  See? There are worse things than all of 2024.  Join us this week for a rolicking look back at our holi...

Happy Merry Joyous Blessed Easy Crispy Fresh Squeezed Hot & Ready Now, Dear Listener. (Should old aquiantance be forgot.) We love you, we mean it. Our highest best and always, Melissa and Amy. 

Greetings, Soufganiot fans. You'll be pleased to know that the annual cost of Christmas Trees has now surpassed $4.6 billion per family. Score one for Hannukah! In other news, Missy continues to deal with the detritus of The Great Purge. Amy discusses the possibility of removing all her hair. And we both fantasize about the hidden riches of highway based realities.  

It's Go Time, Dear Listener, and you're on deck with a mission critical assignment: FEEDBACK. Our girl is struggling this week, and the only thing to cure her funk is a mountain of positive reinforcement in the form of Listener Engagement. So hop on Gmail and drop Missy a line at brilliantobervations@gmail.com. Social media more your speed? Post to your channel and tag @ListenBrilliant. Or just st...

It's not everyday that Melissa dictates the name of the episode. But so moved was she this week, Dear Listener, that she did just that. We give you: Amy's Thanksgiving.  Enjoy. 

Dance, Monkey, Dance — it's Thanksgiving, Dear Listener! We've loaded up the laughs to make the time fly as you prep, plump, clean, commute, gorge, purge, decorate, designate and defacate your way through this blessed secular holiday. (Still sorry, Native 'Merica!) Join us, won't you, as we ignore the news, forget cultural references and dig deep in family drama. In  You Can't Eat at Errybody Hous...