Pure Desire Podcast

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, Dr. Andrew Bauman joins us to discuss why the church so often becomes an unsafe place for survivors of sexual betrayal. Drawing from his work as a licensed mental health counselor and his research with more than 2,800 women, Dr. Bauman shares what led him—from pastoral ministry into clinical practice—to expose the systemic sexism and abuse he documents i...

In today’s episode, we explore the heart behind the book, When Hurting People Come to Church, and the growing mental health crisis impacting families, churches, and communities—including those navigating sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Our guests, Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. James Sells, explain why so many people struggle to find timely help and how the Church is uniquely positioned to respond...

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, we explore a radically different way of understanding desire in recovery, betrayal, and marriage. Rather than treating desire as the enemy, our guest, Jay Stringer, invites us to see unwanted behaviors as signposts pointing to deeper wounds and unmet longings.  Drawing from Jay’s research with over 4,000 people, we discuss how fear-based restriction, sha...

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jake Porter to explore the pervasive and often misunderstood role of shame in recovery. We begin by defining shame and examining why understanding its messages is crucial for lasting growth.  Even after significant recovery, shame can persist—like background noise—resurfacing when we least expect it, especially when confronting the pain we’ve caused others....

In this episode, Debby Flanagan dives into a common but often overlooked challenge in recovery: trying to control life by controlling other people. We explore how this pattern can undermine relationships, fuel relapse, and distract from personal growth.  Debby outlines telltale signs that someone may be exerting control and offers strategies for self-reflection to recognize if we are doing the sam...

In this episode, we explore what it truly means to take full responsibility for the damage caused by addiction—and why minimizing, deflecting, or excusing that harm often keeps relapse close at hand.  Joined by Eileen Fagan, we identify subtle signs of incomplete ownership, from defensiveness and justification to shifting focus onto the wounded spouse’s reactions. We also discuss why acknowledging...

In today’s episode, we confront one of the most deceptive assumptions in the recovery world: the belief that sexual addiction is “just about sex.” With guest Robert Vander Meer, we unpack how this false narrative minimizes the emotional, relational, and neurological drivers beneath the behavior, making relapse far more likely because the real wounds go unaddressed. We identify common signs of this...

In this episode, Harry Flanagan joins us to unpack a subtle but critical danger in the recovery process: pursuing healing with less passion than we once pursued addiction. He explains how this mindset can quietly fuel relapse patterns, create emotional complacency, and leave individuals feeling stuck even while “doing the right things.” Harry also addresses why some people struggle to engage fully...

In today’s episode, Laurie Krieg shares her expertise on guiding children through some of today’s toughest conversations around sexuality, gender, and God’s design for relationships. From knowing the right time to talk to kids about sex, singleness, and marriage, to navigating confusing cultural messages—including rainbow flags, gender transitions in family, and the realities of pornography and tr...

In this episode, Rodney and Traci Wright dive into the delicate and vital topic of parenting while walking a recovery journey. Drawing from their book How to Talk with Your Kids About Sex, they explore why honesty, timing, and boundaries are essential when navigating recovery with children at home. From common mistakes parents make to practical guidance on age-appropriate disclosure, they provide...

In this episode, John Fort returns to share insights from his book Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationships, a practical guide designed to help dads engage openly and confidently with their sons about sex, boundaries, and character. He explains why these conversations are often difficult for Christian parents, the common hesitations dads face, and the positive transformations he’...

In this episode, we’re joined by Ashley Jameson, the author of a powerful new book designed to help moms and daughters navigate one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics: sex and healthy conversations about it. She shares what inspired her to write Girl Talk , how the book is structured, and what moms and daughters can expect as they walk through it together.  We’ll explore pra...

In this episode, Josh Andrew explores how the start of a New Year can be a fresh opportunity for growth and focus in recovery. Moving beyond avoidance-based strategies, he introduces the Three Circles tool, emphasizing the importance of the outer circle—practices and behaviors that support a healthy, fulfilling life while reducing the risk of acting out. Josh explains how self-care, understanding...

In this insightful episode, Stuart Blade unpacks the power of the Commitment to Change—a practical tool designed to help individuals and couples experience real transformation in their recovery and spiritual growth.  He explains what a Commitment to Change is, who it’s for, and how it can move people from good intentions to lasting change. Drawing from years of experience leading and supervising g...

In this heartfelt episode, Rodney and Traci Wright share their powerful story of finding healing—both individually and as a couple. Long before discovering Pure Desire, their recovery journey began with a deep recognition of their need for help and God’s grace to rebuild what was broken.  They open up about the early steps they took to survive as a couple, the community that supported them, and ho...

In this inspiring episode, we hear the powerful story of Brian Wolf’s journey toward healing and recovery. From the moment he realized he needed help to discovering the life-changing community of a Pure Desire group, this conversation explores how God meets us in our brokenness and leads us toward freedom.  Through honest reflection and personal experience, Brian shares the pivotal moments when he...

In this powerful episode, we sit down with a courageous couple, Adam and Becky Bradley, who share their honest and inspiring story of healing through the Pure Desire recovery process. From the moment they realized their need for help to the transformative experience of being in a Pure Desire group, they walk us through the highs, lows, and breakthroughs that marked their path. They reflect on the...

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Randy and Leslie Bixby, the founders of The Family Reformation Project, to explore how their personal healing journey as a couple became a transformative mission to restore families everywhere. They share how pain became purpose, leading to a movement rooted in the belief that "family is God’s original government."  Through their story, listeners will dis...

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Josh and Avonlea Roy who vulnerably shares their journey of healing after infidelity and betrayal. From the pain of discovery to finding hope through the Pure Desire podcast in 2023, they recount the insights that helped them take their first steps toward restoration. Transitioning into group work with Betrayal & Beyond and Seven Pillars of Freedom, they...

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Juli Slattery, who has spent 15 years helping Christians navigate the complex terrain of sexuality in light of faith. We explore why so many struggle to surrender their sexuality to God and why the traditional church approach often falls short in addressing the real-life challenges people face today.  Juli dives into how unresolved sexual issues can create bar...

In this eye-opening episode, we sit down with Tabitha Westbrook, an advocate and expert passionate about helping individuals recognize and address abuse within marriage. Tabitha unpacks the often-misunderstood signs of abuse—both obvious and subtle—and challenges the dangerous belief that “it’s not abuse unless it’s physical.” She sheds light on how emotional, verbal, and spiritual abuse can deepl...

In this deeply moving episode, we sit down with Teresa Whiting, the author of the book Graced , to explore the powerful, often overlooked stories of women in Scripture—like Tamar and Bathsheba—whose experiences of brokenness and redemption reveal the heart of God in profound ways. She shares the personal and spiritual journey that led her to write a book she never intended to, and how God gently t...

In this compelling episode, we sit down with Dr. Jill Manning, a leading expert in betrayal trauma whose groundbreaking research has brought critical awareness to the emotional toll of pornography use within intimate relationships. She shares her journey into this deeply personal and often misunderstood field, shedding light on the unique dynamics of betrayal trauma and its profound impact on part...

In this essential episode, we dive into a candid conversation about the role of pastors and church leaders in responding to sexual addiction and betrayal trauma within their communities. Many leaders feel illequipped—or even fearful—of “getting it wrong” when someone discloses their pain.  Our guest, Dr. Barbara Steffens, offers practical wisdom on how pastors can take meaningful first steps, crea...

In this episode, we sit down with Pastor Ken Krueger to explore what it truly means to cultivate a culture of grace within the church. Pastor Ken shares his personal journey, the heart behind his ministry, and what inspired him to lead his congregation toward greater authenticity and healing.  Together, we talk about the challenges of shifting from performance-driven or shame-based models to a gra...