Nuzzle House

We learn: I had to drive my kid back from college- that’s why I’m late Our hero isn’t going to be much of a pirate if he keeps snitching it’s totally normal to sit inside apple barrels while you eat an apple Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/treasure-island-unabridged-and-fully-illustrated-robert-louis-stevenson/14650478?ean=9781789431032 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Yo...

We learn: I have to go to a high school play, of all goddamn things Our hero gets his act together Rich people LOVE adventure Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/treasure-island-unabridged-and-fully-illustrated-robert-louis-stevenson/14650478?ean=9781789431032 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to...

We learn: Your dad can die but man, pirates are so exciting that it almost doesn’t matter! I got a cat with a ‘bad back’ Who would have thought that a doctor can master pirates to well Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/treasure-island-unabridged-and-fully-illustrated-robert-louis-stevenson/14650478?ean=9781789431032 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read...

We learn: World War 3 again? What a relief that the rabbit doesn’t get burned alive This book is about my stuffed Grover- and I’m still waiting for him to be real Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-velveteen-rabbit-margery-williams/48974?ean=9781398809314 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing t...

We learn: Sleep is for idiots I got a neighbor who is probably a Q-anon idiot I’m speed reading to try to get done before my idiot dog has to take a crap Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/asleep-in-armageddon-ray-d-bradbury/18347855?ean=9789355891983 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their t...

We learn: Heathcliff FINALLY DIES After a whole winter in Minnesota without snow - we have a huge storm coming. Ugh. Was there really a time where wealthy shut-ins just wasted away and eventually married a cousin? Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Read an article about it: https://www.vox.com/culture/2018/7/30/176299...

We learn: Linton has actually managed to be more of a snot than usual My recording room is really echoey Lockwood is an incel Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.co...

We learn: Linton actually, somehow, seems to get MORE annoying My wife is sick and my house is burning hot How awkward is it to abduct someone and planning on keeping them for weeks when they’re ready to give you what you want in the first 5 minutes Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee...

We learn: Cathy is just as much of an entitled turd as her mom There was an actual bird in my basement Linton is at Malfoy levels of getting on my nerves. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing...

We learn: People just die, and not a lot of buildup happens for it. Getting through 4 chapters is draining Now the book is all about kids, like a Nickelodeon show Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contr...

We learn: Heathcliff is a self absorbed jerk. The kind of guy who paces around his basement listening to Attack Attack I’m putting dirty water into my CPAP now Catherine gets REALLY manipulative on her death bed Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Your bedtime story read a...

We learn: Catherine gets delusional, and Nelly might have a crush My dishwasher is leaking Isabella is barely introduced and we already hear she’s going to die Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contribu...

We learn: I got the WRONG CLOCK from Germany Guys, Heathcliff is BACK Does Heathcliff actually have a revenge plan? Or is he just talking a lot about it? Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/ja...

We learn: I finally conquor saying “Thrushcross Grange” Catherine is an affluent nanny-slapping, baby-shaking jerk I picked ‘phallus #5’ in Baldurs Gate Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar...

We learn: Want to read a book from the point of view of a man writing what he can remember someone else telling him in his journal? I have a European cold Their might have been a ghost? Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/wuthering-heights-emily-bronte/17467979?ean=9781912714070 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip j...

We learn: You can make an airtight, spaceship-like capsule with just blankets Little boys still think about girls, even in the apocalypse I’m going to write a book called ‘The Power of Sitting’ Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/a-pail-of-air-fritz-leiber/11967340?ean=9781515405641 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their t...

We learn: Can Christmas be racist? Of course it can. You want to spend your Christmas listening to the longest short story in the world? You want to open presents with your family while you listen to me desperately trying not to say racist words? Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/beasley-s-christmas-party-booth-tarkington/20625204?ean=9781835524398 Listen anywhere: https://...

We learn: Another story where children are treated like adorable pets. There’s an open market for babies in the woods? I wasted my new Christmas decorating on a horrible story Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/christmas-eve-at-swamp-s-end-norman-duncan/6974744?ean=9781979327909 Listen anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip...

We learn: Grandma baby-porn from the turn of the last century was horrible I’m GOING to GERMANY to drink beer from a glass boot and embarrass myself I’ve never read a commercial before until this story. I’m decorating for Christmas Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/69532 Visit: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://...

We learn: oh my god- after over two months, I finally finished the goddamn book. I think that Granny B is the biggest ‘7th virgin’ in this story. I’m GOING to GERMANY. We’re done here. Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HRHDDDMQ&keywords=The+Legend+of+the+Seventh+Virgin&qid=1695607300&sp...

We learn: Kim is back! And it’s not looking good for Karensa This book is TOO LONG and I’m TRYING to get to Germany There are some dead bodies in the mine Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HRHDDDMQ&keywords=The+Legend+of+the+Seventh+Virgin&qid=1695607300&sprefix=the+legend+of+the+sevent...

We learn: I can’t read a holiday story without worrying about pedophiles I’m learning horrible German phrases so I can get people in Germany to leave me alone the “Do it Yourself Home school” Website loves to push stories written by people who were home schooled Go on, read it for yourself: https://diyhomeschooler.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/b030f-8f374-e4369-7e7db-captain_christys_thanksgiving...

Gestating the Curious Mind: Reads 'The Legend of Wolf-mommy' We wrote the book about a man with a werewolf for a penis. Enjoy. Listen Anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house

We learn: Karensa’s idiot kid accidently murders the drunk For some reason there are flies in my basement, which is normally a sign that my house has a demon in it. Karensa’s son dissapears- but then, it’s fine. So it’s a non-event. Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Legend-Seventh-Virgin-Victoria-Holt/dp/0385006098/ref=sr_1_1?crid=39QY8HRHDDDMQ&keywords=The+Legend+of+the+...

We come up with the idea that a man's phallus is actually the werewolf We learn: We bust out the Franzia for our comeback Turns out? 'whole body werewolves' are losers We're still podcastings 'first married couple' Listen Anywhere: https://linktr.ee/nuzzlehouse Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house