Nuzzle House

This week we read Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James, and it gets hot- and by “hot” I mean slow, boring, and a near carbon copy of Stephenie Meyer’s painful style of writing. We learn: Gretchen has a backyard butterfly blast for us Ben realizes that being single sucks when you need a ride to knee surgery Glen has built a reading nook in his house Go read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/fi...

The kids escape the cave! Weirdly they run into Joe down there and Tom is pretty casual about it. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The kids keep an eye on the “spaniard” and “Injun Joe” for a few days then Becky Thatcher comes back! So Tom pretty much forgets about the murderer and the gold to go hit on her. A big party is planned and Huck and Becky wind up missing- which kind of takes the shine off the fact that Huck saved a woman’s life. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-origin...

This week we read Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James, and boy it’s ‘warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel…or something’. That’s actually a quote from the book. We learn: Gretchen has been sitting on a mountain of material while we were out Ben is ‘free now’, whatever that means Glen is trying to get crows to eat his bacon Also- this is what Glen thinks Christian Grey’s hands loo...

While in the old, haunted house- the fella’s find Joe and “the dirty spaniard” are hiding out there. They also have a ton of money they want to bury. While burying it, they stumble upon even MORE treasure that someone had buried before that! It’s a great day for Tom and Huck until Joe realized that someone is watching them… Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-...

For no reason Tom suddenly decided to start looking for buried treasure. No one is available except for his ‘slummy’ friend, Huck. Who, again, says the n-word needlessly. Lots of fun. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The boys feel guilty about ‘ol Muff. They visit him at his prison window again and he… he touches their faces. Ugh. Tom feels so guilty that he finally confesses- when he has his time in court, Joe throws himself out the window and escapes. Tom is famous again, but fears for his life. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/978107456...

There’s a whole thing about a school performance involving poetry, then a list of events the town has through the summer. Doesn’t really tie in with my racism story, but oh well. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: People are finally wearing masks at Ben’s work! Inspired by Gretchen, Glen has purchased a bird bath. Gretchen has a bird blurb- but Glen ruins it by yelling at his cat Ben reads a passage of the book and it’s wonderful Go read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/hardy-boys-04-the-missing-chums/9780448089041 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Tom gets called out for lying (again). But thanks to his penchant for kissing on the lips, he is still ok. And he gets Thatcher to love him again. Things are really coming up “tom” this episode. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

The guys decide to go home with their secret plan. It works like a charm and soon all three are the talk of the town after they show up at their own funeral. Becky’s into Tom again, and they play the game of ‘cat and also cat’ with each other. In the end no one is happy. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit htt...

The fellas start to get homesick. Tom took off to spy on his aunt and found out that their parents think they’re all dead, which is a dream come true for any little boy. After a thunderstorm and a questionable nude scene, they relax with a pipe before they begin their next adventure. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561...

Lucky for tom, when he decides to live an ‘outlaw life’ he’s got lowly friends to be there with him. They try to tough it out, until Tom sneaks off to be back in civilized life where his aunt makes him real food… Just like the life I’m living with my new washer/dryer- except that I can’t go back to life before my eco-friendly washer/dryer. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-ad...

We learn: Ben has nearly nothing going on over the last two weeks. Glen only has boring stories about his deck Gretchen holds the show together AGAIN with a Owl joke and another Bird Blurb Go read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/eclipse/9780316027656 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Guilt is a powerful force- the same guilt that guides a boy into a world of pain also guides a middle-aged man to wear the same underwear for 4 days. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Racial Stereotypes abound in chapter 9 as ‘Injun Joe’ kills a man. And as Tom and Huck are on the run, they still manages to drop the n-word. And Tom’s fiancé breaks it off. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

When the stress of being engaged is too much, Tom turns to pagan rituals and fantasy. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

If a small boy asks a small girl to get engaged, does anyone in pre-civil war Mississippi notice? Find out in today’s episode. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: Ben's only news is that he doesn't like his job. Glen didn't do much besides watch illegal fireworks Gretchen holds the show together AGAIN with a 'toad tidbit'. Ben still keeps trying to work the 3-way joke Go read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/eclipse/9780316027656 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We Learn about Huck Finn, who is considered the town low-life. Though I don’t see why. Anyone who walks around with a dead cat seems fine to me. We also learn how to successfully hit on a woman. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Not a lot happens. Just a bored kid in church getting pinched by pinch bugs. Though, since nothing carries over from chapter to chapter- I’m beginning to believe that Mark Twain invented the situational comedy format. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: Ben gets really upset that his bird news isn't as exciting as Gretchen's. Glen social-distanced in Rochester Gretchen holds the show together AGAIN with a duck blurb and a weather joke Glen spent hours editing this to keep it around an hour. But no one ever thanks him... Go read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/eclipse/9780316027656 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

I visited a friend in another city, and I can’t make it tie into an episode where Tom Sawyer lied his way into a brand new bible. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

Covid still exists, weirdly enough. And this chapter teaches you that you can use it to fake your own death. Though, you might get a bed pan's "water" thrown on you. Go on, read it yourself: https://bookshop.org/books/the-adventures-of-tom-sawyer-original-and-uncensored/9781074561192 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.

We learn: Ben has no news. None at all. Glen successfully avoids a woman's love. Gretchen holds the show together with another 'bird blurb' and the recipe for a summertime drink. Glen thinks that the term "Jew's harp" is probably racist. Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.