Midnight Crisis

"Tell your boyfriend if he says he’s got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him!" - We reflect on our ‘hot years’. - Nobody asks her partner if he could be in a throuple and whether he would still love her as a snail. - Ben has a beef with Schnitz and their supposed life hacks. - Nobody refuses to walk downstairs...any stairs…even made-up ones. - Ben tells the tale of his hi...

"Never was a cornflake girl." - We debate which is the riskiest bedside table drawer to open. - We ramble about corn on the cob holders, forcing yourself to like foods and the effects of caffeine. - We discuss kitchen drawer preferences and finding stuff in other people’s houses. - Ben observes the worst Subway sandwich order ever. - Get rich quick schemes: The gym rowing challenge. - Get rich qui...

"If you like piña coladas and gettin' caught in the rain..." - We overanalyse the lyrics of Escape (The Piña Colada Song). - Ben’s mum picks an unfortunate time to share her thoughts on the podcast. - We ponder what part of the pig a pork shoulder is from. - Ben’s AI reads A Christmas Carol and sings New York, New York. - Nobody’s partner wants a Batmobile but gets an unfortunate substitute. - Ben...

"Where did you come from? Where did you go?" - We dissect the wisdom of King Solomon and Nobody recalls a story about a baby from reddit. - Ben thinks it’s too easy to walk into hospitals. - Nobody ends up in the hospital and has her UGG boots stolen. - Ben recommends buying an apartment for the masculinity bonus. - We revisit the ‘base system’ and propose an alternative ‘sex star’ system instead....

"It's about damn time!" - We discuss the current trends in body hair and handjobs. - Ben gets hit on by a gay rollerblader. - Nobody recaps an AmITheAsshole about a guy professing his love on the eve of his crush’s wedding. - We have a lot of awkward interactions with the people in our buildings. - Ben needs streaming apps to back off after watching the Barry finale.

"The last plane out of Sydney’s almost gone." - Ben is intrigued by Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s Wikipedia page. - We discuss Sacagawea, Shaun Micallef and hosting late night talk shows. - SMSiquette: We reflect on text message misunderstandings, starting fights over text and more. - Nobody wonders how her teenage brother could relate to the lyrics of Cold Chisel. - Ben’s sister wants to know whether he’d...

"The sun has gone down and the moon has come up…" - We face a real midnight crisis as we struggle with insomnia and discuss famous screams. - Ben asks how dry a towel needs to be when it comes out of the dryer and shrinks his Download Festival tee. - Ben gleefully daydreams about breaking the protocol of having family meals at the dinner table. - We debate the best and worst of Cadbury Favourites...

"The Vengabus is coming and everybody’s jumping." - Ben doesn’t understand Baby On Board signs. - We discuss following your dreams late in life. - Ben reacts to being cast in the lead role of a romantic comedy. - Ben gets roped into a plumbing emergency at his mum’s house. - Ben poses a salsa hypothetical. - We play The Vengaboys Ultimate Setlist Game. - Ben runs into a Billie Eilish lookalike and...

"I only got ten likes in the last five minutes. Do you think I should take it down?" - Ben suffers an embarrassing shoulder injury. - We go to the 4DX cinema and someone (possibly) falls out of their seat. - Social Media etiquette, aka. SMetiquette: Do you ‘like’ Facebook Stories? - Ben recalls the time he went up against a vacuum cleaner and lost. - Ben’s co-worker begrudgingly accepts his Facebo...

"I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel." - We discuss the two types of Red Bull customers. - Ben witnesses someone trying to return a one dollar coffee. - Nobody gets sized up to be put in a box during a late night supermarket visit. - Ben discovers he’s living in the novelty dessert district. - Nobody is disappointed by her new local smoothie shop. - Nobody wants to know whether Ben would h...

"So why don't we go, somewhere only we know?" - Ben ponders whether to include his State when someone asks for his address. - We discuss the most anxiety inducing videogame music. - Ben solves the mystery of his missing beanie. - Nobody asks Ben to step in as a last-minute replacement groom at her wedding. - The Unfiltered Bride podcast gives Nobody a new wedding day fear. - Nobody refuses to fini...

"Skinamarinky dinky-dink, skinamarinky doo. I love you." - We discuss the raspberry selection process. - Nobody faces a cheesy scroll dilemma on pizza night. - Nobody watches Avatar in 4DX, which is a movie so immersive you will forget you needed to pee beforehand! - We review Skinamarink and question why actors show clips of their movies on talk shows. - We get guilted into eating breakfast and B...

"Every mornin' there's a halo hangin' from the corner of my girlfriend's four-post bed." - We attempt to solve the mystery of Ben’s disappearing beanie. - We’re having bad luck with fast food restaurants. - Ben corrects a statement about the movie Yesterday and spreads some more misinformation about The Beatles. - Ben goes to a G-Flip concert and enjoys a free second show. - We instate a dress to...

"Cotton candy, laced in gold. Stack that money, sushi roll." - Ben discusses his favourite part of a film’s end credits. - We cut Ana de Armas out of the movie Yesterday. - Ben reveals his long running mini-golf scam. - We provide the last Gävle Goat update of the year. - We devise a secret emoji code for ‘I’m bored’. - We decipher the latest text message from Ben’s mum. - Nobody attempts to get t...

"We can't build our dreams on suspicious minds." - We try to decipher Ben’s grandpa wet lettuce routine. - Nobody attends a Q & A of the movie Emily and is disappointed by its historical inaccuracy. - We craft the Historical Figure Cinematic Universe. - Nobody declares her crush on Eddie Redmayne is over. - We check in with the Gävle Goat. - A neighbour’s cat catches Ben in a very compromising...

"The category is body." - We discuss carrot cake being erroneously classified as cake. - We have a revelation about Brussels sprouts and address the joke name ‘Russel Mepubes’. - We revisit the topics of Ben’s microwave and Passport flavoured Pringles. - We discuss Megan Thee Stallion and analyse the lyrics to Body. - We begin curating Nobody’s wedding playlist. - We give our first update on the G...

"Drowning in an endless sea. Take some time and stay with me." - Ben thinks Black Panther’s Namor should stop introducing himself to his enemies. - Ben blames his microwave on his recent popcorn problems. - We discuss virtual reality and invent a telepathic car. - Nobody asks at what point have you clocked your hobby? - Kirsty’s Ketamine Chronicles – Part II: Would you rather be reincarnated as a...

"We rob from the rich then give to the poor, that's right!" - Ben discovers Passport Pringles. - We pitch ‘Pulled Pork & Fennel’ - a series about a small-town detective and his canine sidekick. - We revisit the idea of the friendship hierarchy as Ben is elevated to a previously unattained level of friendship. - We discuss the dilemma of whether to announce your farts. - Nobody shares a story i...

"I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to fall asleep..." - Ben’s thinks he could escape if he was tied up by rope. - Nobody asks whether it would be better to offend a live sailor or a sailor’s ghost? - We revisit the argument of whether fish is seafood. - We decipher Ben’s mums cryptic ‘don’t look up’ text and Nobody’s mum messages her to ask if she’s been in a fight with a kangaroo. - Nob...

"Another one bites the dust." - The Queen’s death finally brings closure to our long running bet. - Nobody gets engaged. - We revisit the etiquette of reclining on planes. - Nobody is re-evaluating her ‘maxi-sitter’ ways as we discuss the etiquette of standing up at the end of a flight. - Nobody gets into an altercation over her final night of accommodation. - Ben proposes a new ‘did they clap?’ a...

"Of your eyes, begonia skies like a sleepyhead." - We discuss Ben’s new bedding and the dangers of using duvets without a cover. - Ben asks if seafood tastes better at waterfront restaurants and Nobody recalls the traumatic fishing experience that led to her becoming a vegetarian. - We reflect on the time that Wile E. Coyote caught the Road Runner and discuss the Mandela Effect. - Ben can’t stop f...

"My blushing bride. My lover, be my lover." - Ben wants zero factor authentication when paying his bills. - Ben and his sister build a password protected haunted house. - Nobody’s childhood was a lot like being in lockdown. - Ben’s local 90s’ themed pop-up lounge has a cereal obsession and we want to bring back the kids game show A*mazing. - Nobody’s prospective engagement is already ‘on the rocks...

"I don’t got no type. Bad bitches are the only thing that I like." - Ben has an issue with Rae Sremmurd’s lyrics and we debate the definition of a ‘bad bitch’. - We birth a new superhero who can see the future of soup. - Ben aims his sights on cream of chicken soup. - We consider a world where you have to yodel for your water. - Kirsty chimes in with her thoughts on aging out of Leonardo DiCaprio’...

"Everybody get up it's time to slam now. We got a real jam goin' down." - Ben wants TV characters to stop burning toast. - Ben is (possibly) getting free air conditioning. - Ben caught COVID and fears it’s causing blackouts. - Nobody steals her boyfriend’s light. - Nobody’s shower door sucks. - We ponder whether it’s worse to be naked and wet or naked and dry? - We debate the controversial topic o...

"Baby when you're gone, I realise I'm in love." - Ben has a problem with his stovetop and/or the phrase ‘put it on the back burner’. - We attempt to define the term ‘pompatus’ and devise a competitive love-off reality show. - We revisit Posh Spice’s confusing pose on the Spice Girls album cover. - Nobody reveals that she isn’t attracted to Leonardo DiCaprio (or any brown-haired white guys) because...