FBC Minneola

A man was hired to paint a church, but to save money, he thinned the paint with water. After finishing the job, a big storm came and washed all the paint away. The man, feeling guilty, knelt down and prayed, “Lord, forgive me! What should I do?” A voice from heaven boomed, “Repaint! And thin no more!”…

A mother had difficulty getting her son to get up in the morning and go to Church. When he finally woke up, he told his mother he didn’t want to go to Church. His mother said, i will give you three reasons why you need to get up and go to Church. It’s Sunday. You are 35 years old. You’re the Pastor.…

Secular - A priest and a baptist are in a car crash and it's pretty bad. Both of their cars are totaled but neither one of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the baptist says, "So you're a priest. That's interesting; I'm a baptist preacher. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left…

Secular - Some Box Puns: When a person is putting a box together, they use tape and stick to the job. When a person is unpacking a box, the stuff gets injured because it’s laid out after being boxed earlier. Boxes aren’t good at poker because the cardboard folds easily. The person taping a box together…

A Child's Wisdom "A little girl was sitting on her grandfather s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, Grandpa, did God make…

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail…

What events could cause a man to go to his death willingly, not just willingly buy joyfully. It is the events of the Gospel that can change a person to do this. It is the power of the Gospel that changes people inside and out. Such is the story of Ignatius. Ignatius was condemned to death because he…

So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. He wanted to tell his young child some core life morals, as well as teach about old technology. The wise man first showed the kid a polaroid camera. The kid quickly took it, and snapped a photo, but was very confused…

I’ve got a joke today about 3 kingdoms and mathematics. A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people, the second is humbler, but has its fair share of wealth and power. The third kingdom is struggling and poor,…

A wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem. The funeral director says, "Sir, it is going to cost about $4,500 if we send her home back to the states or $500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem." Husband: "Ship her home." Funeral director: "But sir, why don't you bury her here in the Holy Land and you can…

A man came into a shop with a ‘Salesman Wanted’ sign in a window. He went up to the owner and said, “I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j- joooob-b.” “I don’t know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment,” said the owner. “I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k- kkkids, iiii-I re-really…

Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning? Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed. Mom No. 1: How does that help? Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there. Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants? Dad: No. Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom…

A man and woman thought they needed to go to couples counseling because, while they had a strong marriage, there was just one thing that drove the wife crazy. So they get in the car and get to the office and the first thing the counselor says, “So, what brought you here today?” The wife immediately speaks…

Here are some funny things that were found on church signs: Don’t let worries kill you, let the church help. The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. Honk if you love Jesus. Text and drive if you want to meet Him. Historical/Cultural…