TransPanTastic: Transgender parenting, work, marriage, transition, and life!

George's transition has made him clearly male in appearance, and this affects everything from his health to his social interactions. Jess is generally happy to support him in each situation, even when her own queerness gets lost in the shuffle. When hiking or exercising, when dealing with his mom, or when dealing with strangers in public, there are new experiences for both of us to explore. We wou...

There are four mammalian creatures in our house under four feet (~120cm) tall, two short hominids and two large canines. We have committed to be responsible for these living beings (and a tall homonid too), and this fact has given us both enjoyment and stress, both frustration and joy. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by goi...

Transition is, by necessity and by definition, a self-centered act. To recreate one's physical self in the most psychologically congruous image possible, is intensely intrapersonal. But when life keeps happening all around us, between raising kids, caring for parents, tending pets, supporting family, paying bills, keeping house, it's easy to get lost in all the external details and forget that tra...

George's mom is old. As both her body and her brain have aged, she still seems, at least in our experience, to be fairly sharp. Why, then, do some of her doctors seem to think she has dementia? The answer might have to do with George's transition. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to  poll.pollcode.com/15998381  or b...

Because, episode sixty-nine, what else could we do? Between dysphoria and having genitalia that didn't quite work right, learning how to sex was quite a process for George. So when his body started changing in response to testosterone, we started exploring the new things it could do and different ways that sex could happen. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous s...

There are few benefits to working for the government. The pay is crummy and job security is tied to the budget which is sadly tied to politics. But one thing we have going for us is that we're protected by law. If they want to fire us for being transgender, they have to find another reason to put on the paperwork! Thankfully, neither George nor Jess work in a hostile environment, but the situation...

George has the sniffles and the microphone seems to have become an antenna for some sort of radio signal. Jess managed to minimize the frequency containing the interference, but it's still there as background noise. Even so, we manage a follow-up discussion of dysphoria as it relates to last week's discussion of packing, peeing, genitalia, and options for lower surgery. The links from our prior di...

Figuring out the bathroom thing after transition is simultaneously harder and easier than many guys expect, and George is no exception. The environment in the mens room is very different from that in the womens room, and figuring out what to do with your "junk" is hard enough without having to figure out what to do with yourself. The links from our prior discussion of STPs, including the "homemade...

When our kids grow up, they will have to earn their own way to pay for their own things. Our job as parents is to prepare them for this reality. If we raise them with a sense of entitlement, or a belief that they have a "right to" have what they want, regardless of whether or not it has been earned or properly used, we will have failed. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick an...

Life keeps going on. Transition keeps happening, even when George gets misgendered. Medicines keep getting refilled, even when we get the dead man's pills on accident. Kids keep growing taller and older, even when they don't seem to be growing smarter or more sensible. It just doesn't stop, even when we might want it to, just for a moment, so we can catch our breath. The work letter that George se...

One year on testosterone has changed a lot of things. George's voice has dropped noticeably, he stands a half-inch taller, and his whole body is shaped differently. But the best changes of all are not anatomical, they're psychological and social. To feel "right" in his own skin, and in the way others interact with him, this has been the best change of all.  We would really appreciate, if you haven...

Continuing last week's survey, we finish the "when" and "what" questions, and move into the "first time" and "either/or" questions. Some answers have changed in the past year, due to the effects of testosterone, and others are just fun. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to  poll.pollcode.com/15998381  or by clicking...

A few weeks back, we posted a survey link to get some quick and anonymous demographics from you, our friends who listen to our weekly storytime. We expected 20%-50% response, but the initial response was less than 5% of our weekly download count. So we decided to take some surveys ourselves, the kind that float around tumblr and ask about the random details of your life. Here's the first half. Nex...

The system of government pension in the United States is called Social Security. The number assigned to each American citizen and legal resident is called a Social Security Number, and it is used for all manner of federal identification. And like many government processes, it's a pain in the rear to change. Jess & George are both public employees, familiar with the simultaneously inane and labyrin...

Recently George was having difficulty accomplishing all he felt he ought to at work. He found this frustrating, but his work-wife reminded him that he generally holds very high expectations for himself, and that the problem might be solved by adjusting these expectations. We've since applied this problem-solving method to many aspects of our lives, and what do you know, it works!  In case you miss...

We often find ourselves in the middle of conversations and realize "this would make a good podcast topic." This time we turned on a microphone and started over with rape culture, working our way through family anecdotes and the metaphysical nature of trans-ness, to religion and our individual views on gender as they relate to faith.  Please go to  http://poll.pollcode.com/15998381  and let us know...

Yeah, George is a middle-aged adolescent, but this week we're not talking about him. #1Child is is a cis-aged teenager, and #2 and #3 add up to almost equal him. We keep hoping that the parenting thing will settle down, but with our special-needs kids it's not likely.  We can be found online at  http://TransPanTastic.net/ , you can email us at  TransPanTastic@gmail.com , and "TransPanTastic" is se...

From the changing room at the sporting goods store, to the hot tub at the gym, to the really gross bathrooms all over town, some spaces are decidedly gendered. We discuss George's experiences with these spaces over the course of finally getting himself a few needed replacements for clothing he has outgrown because of body changes on T.  We can be found online at  http://TransPanTastic.net/ , you c...

Why does it always have to be friday? Jess & George discuss how the changes in George's hormones have changed the way he deals with stress and emotional overload. Also, Jess might be a psychopath and George has been on HRT for about ten months. We can be found online at  http://TransPanTastic.net/ , you can email us at  TransPanTastic@gmail.com , and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social n...

Genderedness happens. Lately, Jess has caught herself saying "You're such a man!" to George often enough to have become a joke. But upon wider examination, George is "Such a man!", #3Child is "Such a girl!", #2Child is "Such a boy!", #1Child is "Such a teenager!", and Jess is "Such a geek!". We can be found online at  http://TransPanTastic.net/ , you can email us at  TransPanTastic@gmail.com , and...

And that "life around transition" stuff seems to have quieted down enough for us to actually talk about transition again. George used to love massages, but getting one during transition can be a questionable situation. Also, we discuss that packer that came in the mail a few weeks back.  We can be found online at  http://TransPanTastic.net/ , you can email us at  TransPanTastic@gmail.com , and "Tr...

George's mom is settled into her new place, and things are finally starting to settle back down. Which means back to parenting shenanigans and religious nonsense. We can be found online at  http://TransPanTastic.net/ , you can email us at  TransPanTastic@gmail.com , and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you...

Getting mom settled in has been an adventure, but if George had been required to undertake this quest prior to transition it would've been a completely different situation. Between visits to doctors, welfare, social security, and the new apartment that we finally moved her into, there's no time to manage gender dysphoria. Or to get the new packer in the mail!  We can be found online at  http://Tra...

Over the course of George's transition, over the course of parenting three kids and one elderly mom, over the course of living life, we often recognize in hindsight that we didn't know things. Not only that, but we didn't even realize that we didn't know them. Recently, we've questioned a few of our own preconceptions about parenting, about gender, and about our ability to take a pleasant hike. In...

In what we hope to be the final installment of the "dad's dead so let's move mom across the country" story, we finally get to make that drive across the country. With George's mom. Leading Jess to be very thankful that George had been to therapy long before they ever met. We can be found online at  http://TransPanTastic.net/ , you can email us at  TransPanTastic@gmail.com , and "TransPanTastic" is...