Married to Addiction

This episode is a good ol' Q&A. I asked those on my email list what questions they had as the wife of an alcoholic and got a BUNCH of responses! This episode will cover the first ten, but I am sure there will end up being a Part Two, so stay tuned for that. In this episode I will answer questions about everything from finances to kids to drunk driving, so be sure to tune in. I bet some of...

I tried EVERYTHING.  The things I thought I should do. The things 'they' said to do.  The things that seemed right. Even some of the things that seemed wrong (I was desperate).  But nothing worked. All I ended up with was more frustration. I couldn't figure out why ! Even when I attempted to go about things the 'right' way nothing would change for the better. In this episode we...

This life as the wife of an alcoholic feels like complete madness sometimes. We stay in a state of heightened awareness, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We're confused, we're scared, we don't know what to do next, and we feel as if we're hanging by a thread. We just want to STOP the madness! In this special episode I will tell you exactly what you need to do to stop the...

'Bondage and Torment' are terms that we commonly associate with addiction itself, but the truth is that we as wives can suffer from these things every bit as much as our husbands. In this episode we will talk about what a spirit of bondage and torment looks like, and how these things can take root in our lives. I'll also give you some practical ways that you can begin to get out from u...

There comes a time in our journey as the wife of an alcoholic when we need to sit down with ourselves and ask some questions. We get so caught up in the stress and chaos of everything that's constantly coming at us that we stay in reactive mode, never taking the time to evaluate what is happening to US. In this episode I will give you five questions that you need to ask yourself RIGHT NOW if y...

This can be a really hard line to walk sometimes. We feel like our husband needs our support through this, but we also feel like we are being mistreated because of his drinking and drinking behaviors. A lot of times women will draw a hard line in the sand on one side or the other, but that is not my stance on things. I believe you can remain compassionate (as we are called to be) without allowing...

You know I love you, right? Well I hope that we will still be friends after this episode because I'm dishing out a little bit of tough love. I learned SO many things the hard way when my husband was addicted, and I don't want that for you. That's why I'm here!! So please tune in and listen to the one thing that changed EVERYTHING for me, and is also changing things for the women I...

We all have a 'To-Do' list, right? And most of the time it has WAY too much on it. But have you ever heard of a 'To-Don't' List?  And did you know that having one of those is actually far more important when you're the wife of an alcoholic? In this episode I will introduce you to the 'To-Don't' list, tell you why you need one, and give you some examples of what...

Do you have a difficult time with the idea of letting go of things you can't control? Do you envision people who do that as walking around in a La-la land of denial? In this episode we will talk about the difference between the two, and the truth is that they actually couldn't be more opposite. Letting go is rooted in one thing, and being in denial is rooted in something completely differe...

Ever feel not 'Christian-y' enough because you're struggling through this journey with your addicted husband? Sometimes we can feel guilty, ashamed, or like we're not a good Christian if we don't have 'the joy of the Lord' all the time. In this episode we'll tackle that head-on. I'll talk about what to do when you feel that way, and how to give yourself some gra...

I remember having a BIG problem with going to meetings when my husband was addicted. For several different reasons, which we'll talk about in this episode. For some of us they just aren't a good fit. So the short answer to the 'Should I go to meetings' question is really 'It depends'. In this episode we'll talk about who meetings are best suited for, who they may not be...

As the wife of an alcoholic do you ever feel like you just need a timeout?! I know I did....a LOT. This episode is a bit different than the rest. It's for you to listen to when you feel like you want to scream, or when you feel anxious, depressed, lonely, etc. In fact there is a scripture in this episode for most every hard feeling that you may be experiencing.  These words can bring peace, re...

I hear it all the time: 'But if I don't confront him he will think it's okay with me!' Will he though?? I confronted my husband about his drinking a million times. And guess what....it didn't change a thing except for MY journey through this. In this episode we will talk about whether or not you should confront your husband about his drinking, how confrontation might be doing j...

SO many wives of alcoholics tell me they feel like they are 'hanging by a thread'. And I know they truly do, because I did too. It is such a difficult, overwhelming place to be, but you just don't know what to do to get yourself out of it. So today I am giving you three things to focus on when you're in that spot. Within those three main focuses are several everyday things that you...

'Speaking life'. What does it mean and why should you care? The concept of speaking life is important in general, but especially while we're in a situation such as this. Negative words breed negative power, and positive words breed positive power. Just like many other things....one is from God, and one is from the enemy. But how do we actually DO this? How can we speak life into our si...

Sex. It's a topic that's not discussed much in this arena, but it's an important one that needs to be addressed. The relationship that we as wives have with our addicted loved one is different than any other because there is a physical component. In this episode I am speaking with Matt and Sheri from the Untoxicated Podcast, and they will be sharing both sides of how they navigated the...

You've probably heard me say this before: Knowing is one thing, but doing is everything. What exactly does that mean though? Well if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, and hearing a lot of suggestions to improve things but not seeing any improvement in your life then this may be for you. This concept is also known as 'Nothing changes if nothing changes'. We can have...

Are you familiar with the Armor of God? If not, then I encourage you to become familiar with it, because it is the perfect thing for us to 'put on' as wives of alcoholics.  The Armor of God will help us protect our minds, hearts, and spirits during times of trouble.  It's what we should wear during spiritual warfare....and having addiction in our homes requires spiritual warfare. Pleas...

It's kind of the elephant in the room. The thought crosses all of our minds from time to time: 'What if my husband never gets sober??' It's a hard thing to think about, but does that mean we are doomed to a life of misery if it happens? Absolutely NOT. In this episode we'll talk about a couple of aspects of this.  What would our physical situation look like? What are our option...

CHAOS. That's what my life was when my husband was deep in addiction. I was either constantly being pulled under by all of the awful things that were happening around me, or frantically trying to employ whatever 'damage control' I thought I could to keep things from getting worse.  It was a devastating way to live, and it negatively affected every area of my life. If you can relate to...

This is something I get asked a lot: What about my kids?  As mamas we worry about our kids anyway, but even moreso when they are in a home with an alcoholic parent. In this episode I will share with you some of the things I wish I had done differently when my husband was deep in addiction where my kids were concerned.  I'll also give you some great (free) resources that can help you help them...

Sometimes walking this path is SO confusing. Why are we being put through this? Why isn't God coming to our rescue? Why are we having to suffer ?? In this episode I'll give you some perspective that I think might change the way you look at things. If you feel like your life is nothing but endless suffering right now, then please give this episode a listen.  ________________________________...

The Married to Addiction podcast is one year old today! In this episode I will share with you some of the podcast's statistics, and we'll talk about the most listened to episodes, along with what the future holds. I also want to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you who have tuned in, whether you have listened once, or have heard every episode. YOU are the reason I'm...

Do you feel like you have only two options as the wife of an alcoholic? 1. Stay and be miserable until your husband gets sober 2. Leave If you're like I was then neither of those is what you want. Truth is those aren't your only options. There are actually four different ways that being married to an alcoholic can play out, and we will talk about those in today's episode. -------------...

The Bible says 'Faith without works is dead'. But what does that really mean? And how do we know exactly what is our part in a situation, and what is God's part? I was fuzzy on that for a good long while. But discernment here is especially important for the wife of an alcoholic, so in this episode we are talking about how to find the line between faith and works, and how to do each par...