Married to Addiction

Can you love your alcoholic spouse and still protect your peace? Yes. But it takes intention—and it starts with you. In this heartfelt and practical episode, we’ll explore: Why the line between love and self-neglect gets blurry in addiction How to love your husband without losing your identity or sanity 3 powerful ways to care for yourself while still showing up with compassion If you’ve been feel...

Feeling overwhelmed by the idea of setting boundaries with your alcoholic spouse? You’re not alone, and good news.....you don’t have to change everything overnight. In fact, you can start with just *one* small change. In this episode we’ll walk through: What a micro-boundary is (and why it’s so powerful) How to choose one small boundary that protects your peace A simple 3-step plan to actually fol...

You know those times when you're so overwhelmed that you don't even know what feeling you're feeling?? Or you are just so over it that you feel completely numb? Maybe you're just experiencing SO many emotions at one time that you can't even *begin* to start processing through your feelings? That's a tough place to be, and unfortunately as wives of alcoholics we find ourselv...

You know the feeling, right? You hear a bottle crack open and think 'Oh, heeeeere we go!' That thought might also be accompanied by sweaty palms, an increased heart rate, or anger rising up in your chest. You're triggered. In this episode we will talk about what is actually happening to us when we feel this way. And I'll help you put together a Personal Response Plan to use so it d...

I'm sure you've heard the term 'new year, new you', right? It implies that the beginning of a new year is a chance to better ourselves and/or our situation. Except that's not usually what happens, is it? Instead we set some intentions and maybe even make some changes for a while, but nothing ends up changing long-term. So in today's episode I'm giving you just *two* thi...

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I felt like I was married to *both* of them. One was nice. The other not so much. But actually they both irritated me, if I'm being honest. In this episode we will talk about the two personalities our husbands sometimes seem to take on due to their drinking. I'll also give you some guidance around how to navigate each of them. ______________________________________________...

Do you spend a lot of time thinking about the worst case scenario in your marriage? I sure did. In this episode we will talk about some of the worst case scenarios that hold us hostage. I'll also discuss... What if it doesn’t happen? What if it does happen? And what if you just stay in a holding pattern for an extended period of time? --------------------------------------------------------- PLEAS...

My guest for this episode is Tanya Gioia, a Family Recovery Coach and host of the 'Sober on Purpose' podcast. Tanya and I discuss financial infidelity, which is something that affects most marriages where addiction is involved due to the addict's continual need for substances. We'll outline exactly what financial infidelity is, how it shows up, what to do if it is happening in your relationship, a...

In this episode I am speaking with one of my Secret Sisters Circle members about her journey as the wife of an alcoholic. I think you will find SO many relatable shares in this episode. I hope it encourages you and helps you feel less alone, knowing that others can relate to *so* many of the things that you are going through. If you'd like to join us in the Secret Sisters Circle (or just learn...

Are you unknowingly setting yourself up for more pain, heartache and frustration as the wife of an alcoholic? Sometimes along this journey we end up inadvertently doing things that actually make it even harder for us. In this episode I will share with you three things you might be doing to set yourself up, and we will talk about how they might be harming you. If you are currently doing any of thes...

Sure wish I could've found someone to give me a dollar every time I said that back when my husband was deep in addiction! I would be rolling in the dough. It seemed so obvious to me back then. Most of my problems stemmed from my husband's drinking. Therefore if he stopped drinking so would my problems. In this episode we will talk about the BIG problem with this way of thinking. I'll a...

Obviously we focus mostly on alcoholism here on the podcast because that is the type of addiction that I walked through personally with my husband. But what about other types of addiction? How do they differ and how are they the same? Is there anything that we as wives need to do differently depending on what our husband is addicted to? We'll talk about all of that in this episode. -----------...

Triggers. As wives of alcoholics we experience them daily. Sometimes even multiple times a day. They affect us to or core: emotionally, mentally, and many times even physically. (Ever felt sick to your stomach when you realize your husband has been drinking?) They also affect what we *do*. And sometimes we do things that are not in our best interest because of our triggers. So in this episode I wi...

Staying stuck in the negativity of being married to an alcoholic is a place where most wives stay, at least for a while. I mean, it's understandable....this is a really hard thing to go through. And it's hard not to find yourself drowning in the difficulty of it all. Problem is that when we stay there it *poisons* us. And the longer you stay there the worse it gets. But HOW can we not stay...

Let's talk about silence. When is it good? When is it bad? And how can we know the difference? In this episode I'll talk about the value...and danger...of intentionally using silence in your relationship with your alcoholic husband. -------------------------------------------------------- PLEASE NOTE: This podcast is pre-recorded, so not all offers mentioned/listed will be currently availa...

It can feel like the last thing we are concerned about as the wife of an alcoholic....caring for ourselves. We are usually so caught up in our husband's life that we feel like we just *don't* have the time or energy to worry about us. But as a result we fall deeper and deeper into a pit of neglect, ending up a shell of our former selves. And when you add that to all of the emotional trauma...

Hope. It feels like all we have sometimes as wives of alcoholics. And sometimes we don't even have that. In this episode I will share a shift that you need to make where hope is concerned. And it's a *really* important one. ------------------------------------------ PLEASE NOTE: This podcast is pre-recorded, so not all offers mentioned/listed will be currently available. 👉🏻 For a current...

That 'stuck' feeling is the worst, isn't it? You're not happy where you are, but you don't feel like you can do anything about it. But what if I told you that's not the case? In this episode I'll talk about why we feel stuck, where those feeling really come from, and exactly what you can do about it. Also....please plan to join me for my upcoming FREE online event calle...

Does your head feel really loud right now? Does it seem that the more you look for answers the more confused you get? In this episode I will talk about how our search for clarity as wives of alcoholics can actually make us more confused instead. I'll also give you some direction on a different way to approach things that will likely feel SO much better than what you have been doing. ----------...

Should you just 'wait it out' in your marriage if you don't feel like you have clear direction from God? Not always. In this episode I talk about five different scenarios in which you should strongly consider a change. In these cases there is too much at stake, so it is probably best to make a change first, and then wait for divine direction from there. --------------------------------...

In this third part of our three-part series on how we have to navigate our way through this a bit differently as Christian wives of alcoholics we are talking about the shame and isolation that can make its way into our lives. We can begin to feel like we have nowhere to turn, and that we can't even talk to anyone at our church in a lot of cases, which keeps us in hiding. Because of this we oft...

This is the second episode in a three-part series about how this journey as the wife of an alcoholic is different for us as women of faith. In this episode I talk about how we can encounter some confusion around our faith. I'll also discuss the other types of difficult feelings we can come up against where our faith is concerned, and what to do with those feelings. This is an important one. Pl...

This episode begins a three-part series on navigating your husband's addiction as a Christian wife. I feel that we come up against some additional challenges when we are in this position as a woman of faith, and I think it's important to talk about those challenges. In this episode I will discuss balancing forgiveness and empathy with boundaries. This can be a tricky line to walk, so I hop...

Oh, the holidays. They can seem pretty lackluster as the wife of an alcoholic. For some of us they are the most difficult time of the whole year. And for many of us, no one even knows what we are going through which can make it all seem that much harder. So first of all....I SEE YOU. I know firsthand how hard this time of year can be. But I also want you to know that the holiday season doesn't...

You hear it on airplanes all the time: 'Put your mask on first'. But what does that mean for us as as the wife of an alcoholic? In this episode we talk about why 'putting our mask on first' is so important, how it can help us and those around us, and ways you can start. If you don't feel like you can breathe right now then please listen to this episode. ------------------------...