Cults to Consciousness

Charlotte Hayes was adopted as a baby to Seventh-Day Adventist parents who used the doctrine to h*rm her in unimaginable ways. She was forced to eat raw vegan, not given adequate nutrients and kept dang*rously thin, while the rest of the family ate normally. On top of that, CSA started happening at age 7 and she was told it was to prepare her for being a wife. Charlotte will further discuss her fo...

Charlotte was adopted as a baby to Seventh Day Adventist parents who used the doctrine to harm her in unimaginable ways. More details on her childhood can be found in part one linked below. Finally, at 18 years old, she enlisted a couple friends through Snapchat to help her escape just days before her former father, who made threats on her life for exposing his abuse, returned home. With only a ba...

CW: CSA, rape.  Charlotte Hayes was adopted as a baby to Seventh-Day Adventist parents who used the doctrine to harm her in unimaginable ways. She was forced to eat raw vegan, not given adequate nutrients and kept dangerously thin, while the rest of the family ate normally. On top of that, CSA started happening at age 7 and she was told it was to prepare her for being a wife. When signs of ph...

CW: CSA. Jacinta LeGore was born and raised in the Jehovah’s Witnesses. After being forced to confess that she had been CSA’d, then subsequently punished for it, it lead her down a shame spiral. Feeling worthless, she decided to get married at 16 to hopefully heal the part of her that the Elders and her parents thought was “impure”. The marriage ended up being another painful situation which ended...

Alissa Watson comes back to update us with some news of her father. She was a devout Jehovah’s Witness through adulthood, marriage and two children, despite a birthing scare that could’ve taken a dark turn if she ended up needing a blood transfusion. Her husband knew his wife was not allowed to receive blood due to the strict doctrine around it, but he was not willing to lose his wife over it. Thi...

TIMESTAMPS UNAVAILABLE FOR THIS EPISODE CW: CA, mentions of suicide- Jamie Mustard was born into one of the most influential fringe movements in the 1970s: Scientology. Raised on a mythos of spaceships and made to believe that it was his life’s purpose to help save the world, he was determined to survive—not only unsurvivable neglect but also the impossible physical and psychological gauntlet of e...

After an amazing discussion with Jenna Miscavige, we knew we had to come back and further discuss what led her out of her Scientology marriage. Even further, we will explore the tactics that set former Scientologists up for failure when it comes to relationships after the cult. A real and raw conversation about the hardships faced when raised in a militaristic, emotionless prison like environment....

TIMESTAMPS UNAVAILABLE FOR THIS EPISODE Jenna Miscavige was born into and grew up in Scientology. Her uncle, David Miscavige, is the leader of Scientology. Jenna details her nearly parentless life as a number in the militaristic conditions where they kept the children. Her mother was a high ranking member, so when she saw how she lived in what felt like royal conditions compared to her, she double...

Following our incredible interview with Melissa Duge Spiers, today we go LIVE to confront the question...  Is Seventh-Day Adventism a Cult?  Melissa grew up in the shadow of control, silence, and secrets inside the insular fundamentalist sect, Seventh-Day Adventist Church. From being beaten for resisting a childhood home perm to seducing a forbidden public school athlete in her parents’...

TIMESTAMPS UNAVAILABLE FOR THIS EPISODE CW: mentions of eating disorders, female GM, CSA, SA.  Melissa Duge Spiers grew up in the shadow of control, silence, and secrets inside the insular fundamentalist sect, Seventh-Day Adventist Church. From being beaten for resisting a childhood home perm to seducing a forbidden public school athlete in her parents’ bed to reclaim her autonomy, Melissa’s...

TIMESTAMPS UNAVAILABLE FOR THIS EPISODE CW:  CA, DV, Mentions of CSA Material & Suicidal Attempts/Ideation.  Zett Espinoza was born into a professional criminal family in Los Angeles. Her mother struggled with mental illness and that often left the children neglected and afraid. Initiated into gang life around 12 years old, Zett’s father was conditioned for illegal activity. He start...

CW: Suicidal ideation, self harm.  Born in the 1970s in Wisconsin, Arno grew up in a turbulent environment with alcohol, fighting, and family dysfunction around him.  As a teenager, he was angry, rebellious, and looking for belonging. That led him toward white power skinhead culture in the late 1980s. He became a founding member of a major U.S. skinhead gang and the lead singer of a hate...

CW:  SA, ED, Suicidal Ideation.  Growing up Ultra Orthodox in an extremely abusive home, left Tzivya Murrin completely unprepared for the outside world. She tried to get help multiple times to get away from her parents, but the system failed her. Once she finally got someone on the outside to listen, hands were held out to pull her out of her dangerous situation. However, some of those h...

CW:  CSA, CA, ED, Suicidal Ideation.  In a system that keeps victims silent in their pain, perpetrators go unchecked and are further emboldened to inflict harm. Tzivya Murrin was trapped in this system. No matter what she did, her parents found reason for extreme punishment. She asked for help multiple times from her community and instead was handed right back to her abusers. Time and ti...

Targeted violence hit a Mormon church in Michigan which claimed at least 5 lives. The same day, it was discovered that the LDS prophet had passed away at 101 years old. A weekend full of grief. We will discuss the events, hold space for those lost and talk about what might be next with the new prophet Dallin H Oaks. Joining us to speak on the history of Oaks is Bryan from True Mormon Quotes. ...

Tamara was a new mom seeking connection and community in a scary world where simplicity was romanticized. She was introduced to the Twelve Tribes by a family member and after some love bombing on some overnight trips, she was hooked. She convinced her husband to sell all they owned including their home and even clothes to leave society and move their family into a single bedroom in a communal TT h...

Just before Emmet Mathieu was 2 years old, his mother Tamara longed for community and simple living, so she convinced her husband to permanently move into the Twelve Tribes commune. Immediate regret set in, but it was too late. Forced to conform to extreme chiId discipline, Emmet was punished every day just for doing developmentally normal things. Immediate compliance was mandatory and if not give...

After joining what Tamara Mathieu thought would be a wholesome, down to earth, communal family group in August of 2000, things quickly went downhill— she immediately regretted her decision.  At 23 years old, Tamara, her husband and their 17-month-old son gave up EVERYTHING to join the Twelve Tribes worldwide religious organization.  In return they received a militaristic, impossible-to-p...

Lured into the TWELVE TRIBES (Yellow Deli) Cult TIMESTAMPS UNAVAILABLE FOR THIS EPISODE Tamara Mathieu was a new mother in a scary world where Columbine had just happened. Romanticizing a simple life and craving safety for her family, she began visiting the Twelve Tribes. She noticed a village raising the well behaved chiIdren, homemade food and happy families. Feeling alone, isolated and overwhel...

Featured in the Shiny Happy People 2 doc-series, Cindy was deep in evangelical nationalism when she was hired as head of PR to silence whistleblowers from the Honor Academy at Teen Mania. She was told they were simply disgruntled chiIdren who were lying to defame the massive enterprise. Years later, she would realize, not only were the alumni telling the truth, but the upper management knew about...

Mica Ringo was heavily invested in Teen Mania and went through the whole program completely ignoring xyr inner voice of authenticity. Being yourself was never an option in a group that specifically molds teens to be extremist warriors for Jesus. The program was grueling and even abusive in an attempt to break down the character of teens coming in.  Mica would go on to create the Recovering Al...

TIMESTAMPS UNAVAILABLE FOR THIS EPISODE Celebrating 250 episodes with these 5 incredible women!  We explore ways in which different Amish and sometimes Mennonite settlements had the same methods of control and even ab*se. We cover their rules, restrictions, medical allowances (or lack thereof), why CSA is rampant and how the perpetr*tors are often protected rather than truly held accountable....

Following up our initial interview with the incredible April Ajoy, we go LIVE with her to further discuss her upbringing as a Christian Nation*list, in which they drilled into teens a persecution complex that would put their life on the line as a declared “believer”. Fresh off the heels of “Shiny Happy People: Teenage Holy War”, April is a successful content creator and podcast host, sharing stori...

Last month the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints lost an appeal to remain blameless in the case of two bishops not reporting egregious acts of CSA in the state of Arizona.  Today we go in depth with former guest and current lawyer Kolby Reddish to further discuss the case and potential legal outcome. Click here to watch on YouTube Check out our interviews with Kolby:   Mor...

After escaping the COG cult in Australia with her husband, Maria Esguerra spent years in higher education so she could become a psychologist and better understand her past. Her mission now is to help other survivors of high control groups and people, move through their trauma and find healing in understanding. She is even doing her best to help legally forge a path for those who are victims of coe...