No Crying In Baseball

In the final installment of our score keeping trilogy, Blake grades Patti and Pottymouth’s homework (totally on a curve), and answers the hard questions -- many of which could be solved by larger squares in which to note plays. If you haven’t done your homework yet, get your scorecard and score the September 3, 2019 Nats vs Mets game . See if you have the same questions! In the post-apocalyptic wo...

Pencils and scorecards are ready for Part 2 of “Scorekeeping with Blake.” Our brave teacher leads us through basic scoring notations and setting up our scorecards , and suddenly we are re-living the Nats/Brewers Wildcard game. It takes so much longer to score that Juan Soto run-down in the 8th than it does to watch it happen . Blake assigns us homework of scoring the September 3rd Nats vs. Mets ga...

Patti and the Pottymouth are excited to start a new segment today: Scorekeeping with Blake. Dedicated scorekeeper Blake has been with us in Section 408 of Nats Park for two years, alerting us to immaculate innings, impending no-nos, and catching us up on what we missed on that last beer run. In this episode, Blake gives us some history on the art of keeping book, some context for why fans do it, a...

On the day the Save America’s Pastime Act passed, allowing teams to pay minor league players below minimum wage, More Than Baseball was born. Former players Jeremy Wolf and Slade Heathcott, along with current player Simon Rosenblum-Larson, created an organization to make sure minor leaguers have what they need to succeed. At the meta level, their job is to make people love baseball by helping comm...

Even a Beermobile delivery is not enough to make up for Patti and Pottymouth not being in the same room, but nevertheless, we persisted. We celebrated the new addition to the Pottymouth family, Eris Israel Filpo . Through Adopt a Minor Leaguer, the Pottymouths have pledged to help out Eris, a player in the Rangers organization, currently at home in the Dominican Republic. Did you hear that there i...

Patti and the Pottymouth and their socially-distanced Smart Baseball Brains bring you the baseball state of the pandemic. The eight week delay , minimum, to the start of the season has clear implications for fans, but what does it mean for paychecks for major and minor league players, umpires, and hourly facilities workers ? How does it affect service time and dates for incentives and bonuses? The...

Stop touching your face. It would be irresponsible not to discuss the intersection of the coronavirus and baseball, so we do. Games have not yet been affected, but some teams are requiring players at Spring Training to pre-sign baseballs and cards under controlled conditions in the clubhouse, to be distributed to fans, rather than sharing pens and passing objects back and forth. Clean club houses...

In one month, Michael Rivers matched up dozens of financially-struggling minor league ballplayers with individuals willing and able to commit to a seasons’ worth of care packages and gift cards, and he’s still going strong. In this episode, we talk with Michael about how “ Adopt a MiLB Player ” began and how fans of the game can help out until MLB fixes its labor policies. Our boyfriends this week...

Tangents this week include Eric Thames’ arms , O. Henry, and Ironman’s math skills, which it turns out are better than Patti’s. Spring Training games have started yet there is still Astros scandal detritus to clean up, so much so that Rob Manfred doesn’t have time to tell Atlanta, “Stop using the Tomahawk Chop.” Twins boyfriends include Cheech and Chong cosplayers /contact hitters Luis Arraez and...

Andrew Whitener is the head strength and conditioning coach at DC Dynasty , and owner of District Performance .  Coach Whitey talks with Patti and the Pottymouth about the best hour of his week, the time spent training a group of players from DC Girls Baseball . He works with the girls on specific baseball conditioning and gives them the tools for lifelong health and fitness. The girls give him a...

Sorry not sorry = words of House MLB, followed by “Let’s just move on.” Did the Red Sox really do their due diligence around Alex Verdugo ? Police reports indicate otherwise. But he just wants to move on. Astros owner Jim Crane apologized by stating he shouldn’t be held accountable. Just wants to move on. Former Astros apologize much better than current Astros, who can’t seem to stop talking, but...

New information on the Astros cheating scandal implicates interns, Excel, and Harry Potter.   Were the right people punished? Still not over, friends, still not over. At the time of recording, the Mookie Betts trade remained up in the air, leading us to agree with Justin Turner that journalists shoving decorum to the side to get a scoop can make a real mess of things. Speaking of messes, the Playe...

We get way into the weeds around the Astros cheating scandal and cite a few studies trying to get at what players were doing what and when and can we ever know. Dusty Baker riding into town to clean up the Clubhouse Culture gives us hope. Pottymouth channels her inner Whitney to introduce her new Cleveland boyfriend, that “big happy chunk of ball destruction” Franmil Reyes . Patti starts her Oscar...

Pottymouth does math (!) to show how NCiB once and forever baseball boyfriend Omar Vizquel will get voted into the Hall of Fame *next* year. Maybe. New Mets manager Luis Rojas has an excellent pedigree and a deep history with the team. Patti and the Pottymouth pull out their Mom cred to jump on Scott Boras’ assertions that the Astros players don’t need to apologize, and Justin Turner wonders why D...

Patti and the Pottymouth perform a public service by saving their Astros Cheating Scandal rant until the end of the show, so they can set you up with the happy first. Boyfriends this week come from the Rangers and the Cubs. Pottymouth leads the Texas talk with Joey “Pico de” Gallo , an actual joey, and some puppies, and Patti counters with Nick “Hockey kid” Solak , an enthusiastic mom, and a holid...

Baseball players once again step up for disaster relief, this time for earthquakes in Puerto Rico, where ballparks are serving as shelters. Our favorite World Series first pitch, Chef Jose Andres, is feeding thousands through his World Central Kitchen , a good destination for your relief dollars or volunteer time, if you are so inclined. Patti explains Arbitration , and runs through NCIB boyfriend...

In the first episode of the new year, we bestow our very first A*&hole of the year award to Domingo Germán , who earned the league’s longest suspension for violation of the domestic abuse policy for a player not formally charged.  The Yankees clean house in training and conditioning and make us wonder just how good the 103 game-winning team will be without a record number of player injuries. ...

This week’s baseball boyfriends represent the Seattle Mariners and Colorado Rockies and include an actual smackdown. Pottymouth’s BF Austin Nola will be competing with Patti’s BF, Evan “Beautiful Freak” White , for the Mariner’s starting 1B. Representing the Rockies, Pottymouth selects commercial star and self-proclaimed Momma’s Boy, Ryan McMahon , while Patti goes for former National and longtime...

Patti marks the release of the latest Star Wars movie by spoiler-free naming Boba Fett, er, Bo Bichette , her Blue Jays boyfriend for 2020. Pottymouth is happy to find that even though we never stopped talking about Vladimir Guerrero, Jr . last season, he wasn’t an official boyfriend, until now. Over in San Diego, Pottymouth lays claim to Eric “Red Hot Chili Peppers” Hosmer , while Patti chooses J...

Pottymouth is all in for Aristides “The Punisher” Aquino as her new Reds boyfriend, so much so that her Dominican Winter League fandom is now divided. Patti also looks to the outfield and selects Nick Senzell , who had her at The Green Monster “makes you feel so tiny.” Over in Kansas City, Cuban-born Jorge Soler and his personal emoji capture Pottymouth’s attention, while Hunter Dozier and his bac...

In which we get the episode number right but say Padres when we mean Pirates and George when we mean Gregory. Welcome to the off-season. Patti provides helpful career advice to Pottymouth by comparing job postings for favorite mascots.  We profile our new Orioles boyfriends, Pedro Severino and Anthony Santander , who we hear is very big in the UK . Just to stir things up, Pottymouth gives up her v...

Before we kick off the Boyfriends of 2020, we dabble in boyfriends of long ago and just yesterday.  Patti’s original baseball boyfriend, Omar “Manos de Seda” (hands of silk!) Vizquel , landed a new gig managing Mexico’s Toros de Tijuana , and our HOF campaign progresses in earnest. Pottymouth’s 2019 Orioles BF Jonathan Villar is waived outright by the Os, and instead of emotional support, she gets...

Patti and the Pottymouth go off on MLB’s plan to gut the minor leagues , saying things like “Capitalism,” “Sanders,” “ Schumer ,” and “ veiled threats .” Sports isn’t just sports. It is economics, labor, community, family, and politics too. On a lighter note, we bestow the title of Honorary Boyfriend on Gerardo Parra, as he departs to play in Japan. Patti reminds us what this whole “Rule 5 Draft”...

We can’t avoid the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal , so we lean right in. Patti and the Pottymouth choose opposite sides of the Darvish/Yelich twitter feud , as well as just how deep Alex Cora and Carlos Beltran are enmeshed in the kerfuffle. How could the Giants think bringing on Gabe Kapler was a good idea? Was it his less than stellar record with the Phillies? Or his inappropriate attempts at cov...

Silver Sluggers are announced and NCiB Boyfriends Ozzie Albies, Ronald Acuna, Jr., and DJ LeMahieu collect their first awards, while Anthony Rendon takes home #2, and Mookie “Pookie” Betts, Christian Yelich, and Nelson Cruz are three-time winners. Once again we miss our chance to vote for the Platinum Glove winners, and once again Nolan Arenado and Matt Chapman are the winners. There must be somet...