Behind the Therapy Door

Parenting is, by far, one of the best experiences we can have.  It is also difficult and not a “one size fits all” approach.  Balancing the temperaments of children and adults within the family dynamic is a juggling act that requires emotional regulation, consistency, and a healthy dose of humor.  Gentle parenting has been in the news for several years now and developed as a counter measure to aut...

If relationships were this easy, no one would ever argue and we would be out of a job!  Expecting your partner to be able to read your mind and know your wants and needs is a fool’s errand.  True connection involves the back and forth exchange of communicating.  Asserting your needs, talking through challenges, learning to balance empathy for your partner’s feelings without getting swept away by t...

Disappointment might just be the most relatable emotion in the human experience.  Whether on a big scale or small scale, disappointment is about managing negative emotions when expectations do not match up with reality.  We have the power to burn it down in rage and tantrums, turn it inward and spiral into shame, or process it through a healthy perspective and pivot to a new reality.  Follow along...

There is truly no win-win in the drama triangle.  This miscommunication pattern is relatable to all of us mere mortals, no matter how we are wired or how we attach to others.  However, we can find the antidote to this pattern by increasing and fostering self-awareness, curiosity, and compassion.  Listen in as we explore how each role of the drama triangle plays out into a losing position and the n...

True to our word, here it is, Part 2 of the impact of burnout and stress on Imaginer, Rebel, and Persister Types.  An important aspect of all 3 of these types is the commonality of how they are motivated to meet their psychological needs in an external fashion.  Looking towards the external environment offers an opportunity for cultivating stress busting strategies that break the stress cycle.  In...

Finding the balance between taking care of oneself and being selfish can be a fine line for some.  Certain personalities are wired to be overtly nurturing and consider others.  Other personalities are wired for fierce independence and introversion.  Learning the importance of self-care is critical for maintaining emotional regulation and healthy relationships.  It can be compared to putting on one...

The culmination of stress looks and feels different for each of us, depending on a number of factors.  One of the most telling factors is our PCM Condo and our base and phase psychological needs.  Burnout is such a relatable condition that we decided to unpack this information in a 2 part series.  This episode explores how stress manifests in Harmonizer, Persister, and Thinker types based off the...

No one likes being on the receiving end of criticism, trolling, bullying, fun suckers, etc.  The abundance of technological advances and social media make these issues an every day occurrence for some.  Learning to decipher the difference between constructive criticism and conflict and energy draining exchanges, as well as the difference between unproductive drama and healthy conflict, empower us...

The therapeutic journey often has a lot of twists and turns, rather than a straight line trajectory.  This is due to many factors…different personality types, motivation for change, toleration of discomfort, etc.  In fact, therapy can stall out as well, which does not necessarily mean a problem exists, but rather that an opportunity for reassessment is present.  Matt and Sarah explore what causes...

AI can certainly be your therapist, but only if you want a subpar experience!  AI is all the rage these days and is an incredibly valuable tool in certain fields.  The data that AI can pull with specific prompts can save time, gather all information into a consolidated format, and provide ideas and resources.  These are all appropriate uses of AI in the therapeutic world, but to assume AI’s abilit...

In a nutshell, knowing when to end the therapeutic experience involves collaboration between the client and therapist.  Many times clients know when they have achieved their goals, solved ongoing conflict, or figured out how to get unstuck and these are times when therapists have the privilege of supporting the client’s intuitive knowing that their time in therapy has ended.  Other times clients a...

One fact of life that is present for most individuals is a desire for healthy and safe connection with others.  In fact, it is a vital part of our biological wiring from infancy.  Some find attachment to be a natural and easy process, while others might find it more challenging or even awkward at times.  Process Communication Model (PCM) highlights the nuances and patterns in every Type of persona...

Do you ever wish you had the chance to say something different than how it came out, follow through on that gut instinct instead of ignoring it, or take action rather than sit out on the sidelines?  Well, this episode is for you!  It is so easy to get caught up in the emotions of an argument or discussion, or get stuck in resentment for what your partner did or did not do, and lose sight of the po...

Continuing the family affair, Matt’s oldest child, Maddie stops by to discuss what it has been like growing up in a house with a father that is a therapist.  She discusses her own journey of being a successful teacher in a local high school and what made her decide to continue her education to become a counselor.  Maddie unpacks the dynamics of her own personality and how they informed her journey...

Our bodies are wired to react to different circumstances in an automatic and intuitive way.  Whether this is when we get butterflies in our stomachs while falling in love or sweaty palms when giving a public presentation, our body is designed to mobilize for action, feel safe in a rested state, etc.  When we can make sense of the biological systems in place to alert us to excitement, fear, danger,...

People might assume that having a live-in therapist for a parent makes life easier.  However…is this really the case?  In this episode, we sit down with Sarah’s oldest child, Dalton, and ask him what it is like having a parent that is a therapist, what he has learned from the relationship, what has been difficult to navigate, if PCM has been helpful in understanding himself and others, and what he...

Finding the right balance of self-disclosure as a therapist can be tricky.  There is technically no “right” way to be a therapist, but there is the absolute necessity of having positive intention when sharing and connecting; to enhance rapport, share relatable conditions to normalize, showcase our own flaws and mess-ups to reduce fear of vulnerability in sessions, etc.  Oversharing is annoying and...

Change is hard. It is hard for all of us, even those of us who enjoy spontaneity and excitement. Transitions are especially difficult as it often involves changing roles, changing relationships, changing power dynamics, etc.  As we unpack several relatable changes, we hope to offer tips and tricks in navigating them, in order to make it more manageable and less stressful.  Change is inevitable. If...

It is 2026 people…Get Your Shit Together!  Though this colorful title got my vote, my more professional and appropriate counterpart was correct in dialing it down a notch for our opener of Season 2  Behind the Therapy Door.  In this episode, we catch up about our holidays and time off with family and friends, talk about what is currently in our podcast/book queue, what is influencing our growth an...

Most people have a love/hate relationship with the holiday season, depending on lived experience.  We here at Affinity Consultants have much to be grateful for during this holiday season of 2025. Tune in as we reflect on a season of growth, both personally and professionally, and recount many moments of gratitude, both big and small.  But do not worry…there will be plenty of humorous WTF’s along t...

Much has been written about and researched regarding effective leadership.  The reality is, however, that effective leadership is more about each member of the team and how they impact the whole.  Healthy leadership prioritizes a foundation of trust, proactively navigates conflict, encourages commitment and accountability, and utilizes tools to empower and mobilize action, creativity, and curiosit...

Fear often gets a bad rap as a toxic and negative emotion that serves little purpose.  While it is true that fear can be corrosive when unprocessed and unchecked, it can also serve as a powerful motivator for facing challenges, growing confidence, and rewiring the nervous system.  We investigate how fear can hijack each type of personality, using Process Communication Model as a framework, as well...

We have a fun episode in store today!  Ever wonder what it is like to be married to a therapist and live with day in and day out access to know-it-alls, ahem…advice and communication tools galore? We had the pleasure of sitting down with our spouses (AKA very good sports) in the lovely town of Hermann, MO, to interview them on what it is like living with a therapist, what is helpful, what might be...

Conflict is inevitable, as much as we do not like it or want it near us.  It exists in all relationships and situations and can often serve as a powerful lesson in compromise, healthy communication, self-empowerment, etc.  Conflict is not the same as drama, however, and it is important to be able to distinguish the two from one another.  Today we explore Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle, the 3 rol...

We are back for Part 2 of Relationship Fallacies this week and unpacking more myths that exist in partnerships.  It is easy to get caught up in so many of these myths, as they have become a part of the social vernacular.  However, as seasoned therapists, we are trained to deconstruct the narrative and rework it in healthier and more compromising ways to help clients live their best lives.  Help us...