The Trawl

Grab your popcorn, we're off to Pop Con...Jemma and Marina take you through the lowlights of the Popular Conservatism conference - the latest Tory splinter group headed up, unironically, by the most unpopular Conservative known to man, Liz Truss. After realizing they are both "left-wing extremists" in Truss's power-sodden mind, Jemma and Marina discuss how after the anti-elites Pop Con conference,...

We'd bet you a £1000 you've heard about the bet between Sunak and Piers Morgan, only there's a cost of living crisis and we're not that crass. Yes, the Prime Minister of Britain actually thought it was appropriate to allow himself to be boxed in by Morgan to the point where he shook his hand on television, betting that he'd get a plane load of refugees into the air. A new low. His defence? I was t...

In this ep Jemma and Marina are 'celebrating' the fourth anniversary of Brexit by listening to some old clips of people who were certain it would be marvellous. The Trawl ladies were tempted to exchange gifts but in order to stick to the theme, they'd have needed a ring which turns your finger green or a carriage clock that doesn't work. They particularly enjoyed the compare and contrast moment of...

The Tory bellendery is strong in this ep...  First, we have the audacity of a Govt known for 'losing' its WhatsApps announcing its new Govt WhatsApp, followed by a series of car crash interviews that are almost painful to listen to - a pile-up if you like.  Staring with... Culture Secretary, Lucy Frazer, the little girl who cried bias. Or was it perception of bias? Or evidence of bias? Same Same. ...

Jemma and Marina decide this episode is an 'eat your greens' type of ep because what's happened in Port Talbot certainly isn't funny. Around 3000 people are set to lose their jobs when the blast furnaces are closed so the tone is perhaps more serious than usual because the Trawl ladies really want to look at how it's got to this point. After all, Sunak gave Tata Steel £500 million to 'protect jobs...

Another week of Tory psychodrama, another week of Tories making utter fools of themselves. It's hard to know where to start, so Jemma and Marina intro with a gem from Tory mayoral candidate, Susan Mason and her Essex nightclub howler. Then it's a quick chat about THAT YouGov poll - and how it was oh so perfectly timed to collide with the Rwanda vote. And my word...what a kerfuffle. All that noise,...

Why can’t every freeborn Briton burn his Christmas tree in  his  own hearth?  Jemma and Marina ponder how this question, that is on precisely nobody's lips, was chosen by blovitaing bell Boris Johnson as the hill to die on for his £15k per column article in the Daily Mail. You've got to wonder if they're having buyer's remorse yet.  Then brace yourselves, as it's onto our new Brexit benefit! Move...

Comedian and writer Jen Brister eschews X but is massive on Instagram where clips of her brilliant stand-up frequently go viral. Jemma and Marina love her so much, they've both been to seen her live so imagine their delight when they found out Jen, not only listens to The Trawl, but also can't stand the Tories. Inevitably, politics is at the forefront of their minds in this get together, but there...

It's the first Trawl of 2024 and the ladies are back with a bang - or indeed, a massive bell! Jemma and Marina lament taking quite so long to record the first new year's Trawl. They expected the Tories to be less chaotic over the festive period and into the new year, but alas, they got that as wrong as a Patrick Minford economy prediction. There were many uncool yule moments, and many festive bell...

Jemma and Marina invite you to The Trawl Christmas Party. It's in your ears, whenever you want to attend. Wear what you want, it's all very laid back though the chat veers from serious to light, to ridiculous and the drinks are imaginary. The slow dance isn't obligatory but does add the office party feels... First Marina and Jemma toast the fact that 2024 will hopefully be the year we finally get...

Sunak and Johnson have both lost their whatsapp messages - the ones which were sent when they were Prime Minster and Chancellor and in charge. It's 'such' a coincidence and makes total sense that it's magically happened to both of them. Jemma and Marina are totally convinced - honest guv. Marina's worried about Sunak's memory too. The poor sausage can't recall anything. Jemma suggest fish oils may...

Five seconds after Jemma and Marina finished recording the last Trawl, typically, British politics took a new turn for the mad. Cleverly has declared that unless you earn £37.5K you can't settle here with a foreigner. Having crushed millions of people's hopes and dreams and stuck a big Tory finger up to romance, there's hardly time to scream 'But what about Shirley Valentine?' before moving on to...

This month, The Trawl met someone you might not expect us to... Someone who certainly bucks the trend of people we’ve spoken with thus far, because it’s a person, who you could argue, finds themselves on the other side of the debate more often than not. Even if you don't know of Hodges himself, you'll definitely know who he works for - The Mail, or as Jemma and Marina tend to refer to it - "one of...

The Trawl schedule has gone off piste due to haywire Christmas diaries (normal practice will resume next week). And so it is that this week, Jemma and Marina find themselves trawling, just as news is breaking that Cleverly has announced a tranche of policy, supposedly designed to cut immigration figures. Their heads are spinning as they try to absorb the latest ill thought out Tory batshittery whi...

The episode opens with a trip to the Plymouth Christmas lights switch-on, where Torty MP, Johnny Mercer is met with a different type of Christmas cheer.  Then it's report time... Because last week the OBR published its economic and fiscal outlook for 2024, and it's a grimmer read than one of Nadine's dirty novels - though in the OBR report, a significantly higher number of people are getting screw...

When all about you are losing their marbles... Greece is trying to claim theirs back. And it's computer says no from Rishi Sunak who has decided to start a diplomatic war with Greece because he doesn't want to give them back their marbles - which is exactly the response you'd expect from our populist PM, and incidentally, also a spoilt toddler.  Then it's onto our new Home Secretary, James Cleverl...

Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to the Covid Enquiry we go to hear what Vallance and Whitty had to endure during the pandemic. Spoiler alert - incompetence, idiocy and disrespect mainly. We also find out they were burdened with a PM who didn't understand the science and thought if people died it was 'OK' if they'd had a 'good innings.' Lovely. But first, Jemma and Marina are thrilled that The Explodi...

The I'm a Celeb ratings have plunged since last year. Two million fewer people are watched the launch compared to last year, despite what the GBeebies gang are saying. Then again, they did get hold of the wrong data. In reality, it looks like, booking a 'fash for cash' isn't the ratings hit ITV hoped it would be. The Trawl ladies discuss whether or not there's a difference between someone's values...

It's reshuffle time... First, Steve Barclay goes from deeply sh*te Health Secretary, to deeply compromised Environment Secretary, and Victoria Atkins becomes Health Secretary in charge of managing the nation's obesity crisis while married to the CEO of British Sugar...let the lobbying begin! The ladies run through who stays and who goes, which includes deputy chairman, Lee Anderson who stays on de...

Get on your knees... It's Tory MP remembrance Sunday photo-op time! And boy, did they all get the memo - because nothing says heartfelt moment of solemnity like a staged pic for the socials. Jemma and Marina discuss the events of Saturday when a brainless crew of Suella's biggest fans descended onto the streets of London to defend...the realm.  Did The Mail take any responsibility for their whippi...

This month, The Trawl Meets Green Peer, all round Wonder Woman and good egg, Jenny Jones.  Regular Trawl listeners will have often heard Jemma and Marina singing  Looooord of the Week  before reading some suitably bonkers tweet from a Lord, so who better to chat all things House of Lords with someone who is a bona fide 'Good Lord' (Baroness). Jemma and Marina are fascinated to find out what really...

It's back to school and detention for you! Jemma and Marina open on the latest batshittery from Britain's strictest headteacher who chose the most bizarre hill of all to die on: the latest Marks & Spencer Christmas advert.  And thank goodness she did, because your reactions were a joy, which coincidentally is what headteacher Kathrin Birbilsingh appears to be in short supply of.  Then it's ont...

Hear ye! Hear ye! Brace yourselves because it's that time of year again...  When an unelected man puts a crown of jewels worth more than Kent on his head and reads out a list of Government bills that will do absolutely nothing to tackle the cost of living crisis. Makes one proud to be British. Jemma and Marina discuss one of the most verbose but substance-free monarch's speeches for decades, befor...

Apparently, Sunak is thinking of making Clare Coutinho Chancellor, so he can thwart Rachel Reeves' ambitions of becoming the first female Chancellor.   Meanwhile, Rachel Reeves has written a book about economics which claims that women aren't credited enough for their ideas. So it's a terrible shame she's been caught out with not crediting people's ideas. The FT have discovered twenty examples of...

Jemma and Marina are only too aware of how bleak the news is currently. Marina didn't sleep prior to discussing the situation in the Middle East on LBC so they begin the episode with a very powerful clip on the topic. They are also aware, however, that The Trawl provides levity during such unsettling times and so it is that the rest of the episode is purposefully diverting. There is a look at Nadi...