The Real Question

Casper used to believe that there was no such thing as evil. But since the Trump presidency, he can't suppress the creeping feeling that some people genuinely don't have good intentions. Does that count as evil? Drawing on the philosophy and letters of Hannah Arendt and the movie adaptation of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire , Vanessa and Casper work through what Casper truly believes about wh...

CW: We discuss weight loss and size in this episode. Vanessa owns the perfect polka dot dress. It’s sophisticated yet flirty, it makes her feel amazing every time she wears it, and it has the cutest gold button on the back. The problem is: Vanessa no longer fits in this dress. She hasn’t fit in it for a while now. Should she hold onto it just in case? Or is it time to say goodbye? Drawing on the p...

What do we owe our neighbors?  When Casper first moved to New York, he put a lot of effort into getting to know the other people in his apartment building. He even threw a rooftop party so that everyone could have the chance to meet one another. Now, as he’s settling into his life in NYC, he’s asking himself how much effort he really wants to put into knowing his neighbors. Should he throw an...

Sometimes apologies that seem 'good' technically, don't actually make Vanessa feel any better. Is there a formula for a good apology? How do you explain yourself, but still take responsibility? Drawing upon Dirty Dancing and Letter From Birmingham Jail by Martin Luther King Jr., Casper and Vanessa think through which apologies feel the most genuine and why. -- We are so grateful to our supporters...

Casper wants to feel closer to his paternal grandparents. But there’s a problem: they’ve been dead for a few years now. Is there a way, as he grows older, for him to keep his grandparents an active part of his life? Drawing upon The Suitcase by Frances Stoner Saunders and Children and Art from the musical Sunday in the Park with George , Casper and Vanessa think through how grief changes over time...

CW: This episode discusses multiple instances of sexual assault and violent crime. In 2014, Vanessa was obsessed with the Woody Allen/Dylan Farrow case. Now that there’s a new documentary out on the topic, she knows she’s in danger of falling back into the ‘story’. But what’s the virtue of following a story of sexual assault so closely? Is it good to know the facts? Or is it just using the horrors...

If you don’t learn to drive, are you failing to equip yourself for adult life?  Casper has promised himself every summer that *this* is the year he’s going to learn how to drive. And yet each year passes and Casper is no closer to having a license. Drawing upon The Sabbath by Abraham Joshua Heschel and the song Walk the Road by Kate Rusby , Casper and Vanessa try to sort out which g...

Is it weird to steal children’s body parts in the middle of the night and teach them that it’s okay? After playing the Tooth Fairy for her two step-daughters, Vanessa is having doubts about the appropriateness of this supposedly silly childhood ritual. Drawing up a recent article about the Marquis de Sade and the song Super Trouper from Mamma Mia, Vanessa and Casper try to wade through the fe...

Welcome to The Real Question, a new show from Not Sorry, hosted by Vanessa Zoltan and Casper ter Kuile! Each week we’ll explore life’s questions through a surprising mix of pop culture and academic insight. Episodes come out weekly on Monday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.