The Psychology of your 20s

The thought of having children in our 20s feels like an incredibly adult decision, and is one a lot of us probably don't consider. We want to protect our youth and our freedom a little bit longer, or perhaps have decided we probably will never want children. But whether you want to have children or not, having a clear understanding of your future intentions or choices, your reproductive health, th...

Struggling with our self worth can often impact how deserving we feel of love. This sense that we may be 'unloveable' causes us to miss out on healthy, fulfilling relationships, self sabotage and stay with people who don't deserve us. In today's episode, we discuss:  The origins of why we feel unworthy of love Childhood wounds  Early romantic scripts and teen romance  Repeated rejection and shame...

All of us have insecurities when it comes to our appearance, but what happens when these become obsessive and a point of fixation? In today's episode we break down the psychology and pathology of body dysmorphia, including:  The origins in childhood experiences Family history and influence  The differences in expression between men and women The relationship between body dysmorphia and cosmetic su...

We all want to be happier, but are probably sick of hearing about 'exercising more, eating better, sleeping 8 hours'. In today's episode we break down FIVE evidence based tips that are simple, accessible, actionable and inexpensive for becoming a happier person and the research that proves it:  Focus on platonic love over romantic love Small acts of kindness + how we are spending our money wrong a...

Going 'no contact' after a breakup or relationship breakdown is promoted as one of the best ways to move on from an ex. But why is that the case, and what is the psychology? Is it always that easy? In today's episode we break down the psychology of going 'no contact': why it works, the science, when it's necessary and how to stay committed, even when it feels impossible. Listen now! Our notebooks...

You're not imagining it! The job market is getting harder, especially for 20-somethings who are entering the job market for the first time and trying to find their path. In today's episode we break down the psychological toll that the job hunt takes on us, the constant rejections, unrewarded effort, resentment and frustration. We also discuss why our generation has it tougher and it's not just a y...

Our mother wounds represent the unprocessed trauma and insecurities we pick up from the dynamic we each have with the women who raise us and shape us. In today's episode we break down the psychology of our mother wounds including their origin, their impact and their manifestation, from our body confidence to our competition with other women, our ability to trust and connect, our fear of disapprova...

We often think the secret to not being passive in our lives is to fill up our days, set countless goals, always be striving for progress and productivity. What if we told you the secret was slowing down? In today's episode I am joined by Caroline and Ann Catherine from Girls with Goals as we discuss:  What it beens to be passive vs. active vs. intentional How to create momentum  Why big, long term...

In today's episode we're going old school, back to a good old fashioned chatty sit down episode and life update. I have been recovering from a pretty terrible bout of tonsilitis and it's made me realise...I have a toxic relationship with productivity. Even when I'm sick I can't slow down, and I don't think I'm alone.  We also discuss how I'm finding living alone, a little relationship update and h...

How can you tell if you're codependent or just really close to someone? If you are enmeshed or just reliant on their support? Feeling happy and stable in a loving relationship, or losing your independence? There are a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings when it come to codependent relationships, especially in our 20s and in today's episode we break down all you need to know and more, inclu...

So many of us are struggling to stay focused and concentrate in an environment of constant distraction and temptation and it's causing a lot of us to feel unproductive and undisciplined. In today's episode we break down why our attention spans seem to be rapidly declining, we discuss:  The Gold Fish myth The average attention span from 2004-2017  The impact of short form content The impact of COVI...

Attachment theory is often misunderstood but when we have the correct knowledge and information it can transform how we relate to others. In today's episode we break down one of these styles, the avoidant attachment, along with it's two components: avoidant dismissive and avoidant fearful. We discuss how this style develops, its expression, the difference in prevalence and behaviours between men a...

We have a lot of opportunities to feel behind in our 20s, especially when it comes to our careers, our finances and our relationships. In todays episode we break down why so many of us (roughly 80% of 20 something year olds) feeling like we're falling short of expectations, as well as how we can manage these feelings and enjoy our path through life without comparing it to someone others. We discus...

We have found some pretty amazing ways to observe human behaviour and from it, discovered some especially interesting things about how we operate, who we are at our core, our irrational beliefs and so much more. In today's episode, we break down five of my favourite psychology studies of all time from jam, to mental escapism and binge watching TV, how many friends we actually need, the healing pow...

Finding the joy in your own company is one of the most healing, rewarding and fulfilling things we can do. It's also really difficult in an age of FOMO, constant distraction, stimulation and fear of boredom or loneliness. In today's episode we break down exactly why you need to fall back in love with your alone time, the amazing benefits and HOW to do it. Listen now!  Follow us on Instagram: @that...

Social comparison is the thief of joy - it will make us question everything that we have, doubt our own abilities, steal our sense of gratitude and peace. It also sometimes feels impossible to escape, especially in our 20s when we look to others for confirmation that we are doing something right. In today's episode we break down the 5 rules you need to stop comparing yourself to others and embrace...

Our inability to make decisions is wasting our time, keeping us acting from a place of fear and stuck in a life we don't want! It's also not entirely our fault and often stems from unconscious mechanisms, neuroticism and fears that we haven't recognised. In today's episode we break down:  Why you struggle to make decisions The consequences of our chronic indecisiveness  Perfection and indecision ...

About 2/3rds of couples start off as friends according to recent research. But developing feelings for a friend isn't always a happily ever after situation. In today's episode we break down why it is that we fall in love with our friends, the principles of attraction such as the similarity liking effect and mere exposure effect, whether to say anything or keep it to yourself, managing the pain of...

Sleep is one of our most vital functions but how many of us actually know that much about it, the links to our physical functioning, mental health, relationships and overall wellbeing. What about some of the strange experiments they've conducted to investigate dreams or how long we can go without sleep? In today's episode we take a deep dive into the psychology of sleep, including:  Why we need sl...

More and more 20 something year olds are choosing to live with their parents; we are moving out later and a lot of us are boomeranging (coming back home after moving out). In today's episode we explore the emotional and psychological impacts of living with your parents in your 20s, why more of us are living at home because of financial anxiety or housing insecurity, how to handle conflict with you...

We lose our spark and love for life for many reasons: burnout, mental ill health, people pleasing, a breakup. When we do it can feel like life gets very boring, it loses colour, we lose interest and we can become cynical towards all of the small joys and brilliance of being alive and being human. In this episode we break down six tips for getting your spark back:  The power of rest Choosing to liv...

You're not going to get along with everyone and one of those people you don't get along with might end up dating someone you love i.e your friend. Disliking your friends partner often stems from one of three reasons: your dating preferences don't match, you're experiencing platonic jealousy, you're genuinely worried about this other person being bad for your friend, exploitative or abusive. We tal...

Social media is impacting our mental health in ways we are not ready or willing to acknowledge, and it's time we talk about it. In today's episode we discuss all the psychology of social media and how it is embedded in our social lives, our relationships, our beliefs, our daily routines, our news and our self worth. We break down how social media was designed to be addictive, how it captures more...

Father wounds arise from a disorganised or complicated relationship with our father figure - either due to them being physically or emotionally absent, harsh and critical, unfeeling or abusive and can result in a number of dysfunctional behaviours and emotional patterns as we grow older. In this episode we are breaking down the psychology of father wounds and discussing:  The origins of father wou...

In this episode we are joined by clinical psychologist and author of 'The Defining Decade' to talk about all the frustrations, stressors, misconceptions and hard moments of our 20s and why it's only going to get BETTER from here. We talk about:  Shifting from a 'what if' to a 'what is' or 'what else' mindset Why we fear uncertainity  Milestone anxiety  Sliding versus deciding  Catastrophic thinkin...