The Nuance Diaries

Check out this post inside the https://thenuancediaries.substack.com for further reading and listening! The days are getting shorter The nights are growing long. The birds will be migrating Taking with them all their songs The air is crisp and chilly We’re trading shorts for scarves ‘Tis autumn, ‘tis autumn, ‘tis autumn. The leaves are changing color Look at their vibrant hues The tree branches wi...

“I’m tired of being amazing. I don’t want to be amazing anymore.” The single sentence becomes the crux of the show and of modern motherhood. Jenny Kaminski (Dakota Fanning), a hardworking publishing executive, meets Marissa when they’re hiding out in the bathroom at a school event. The two forge a friendship over twinning in the same dress and dealing with the same dilemma. They are tired of the p...

I saw a stranger with really kind eyes a few months ago on the Lower East Side. This man with kind eyes looked like he was in love with this girl. I thought to myself, Will anyone like that ever fall in love with me? Would they love me if they knew who I was? What I’d been through? The dark shit clogged inside me? I realized a year or so ago that whenever I pictured my future self, she looked diff...

The basic answer? I don’t want to. If someone wheeled a beautifully decorated tree into my house, I wouldn’t turn them away. If I woke up to a perfectly decorated Hallmark movie-style house in Vermont, I’d be delighted (and also a little terrified that I’d been robbed/kidnapped.) But because life is not a holiday movie , the job of decorator/mover/organizer falls to me. And this year, I’m putting...

Important housekeeping update over here about paid vs. free subscriptions! I sometimes look in the mirror and think, “Weren’t you supposed to make something of your life by now?” It might sound mean — but it’s one of my tamer negative thoughts. I try to think of all the things I’ve accomplished and the friends I love, who I know love me back. It’s not that I’m not grateful — there’s just this boul...

I thought I was going to wrap up the “The Best Showgirls are a Wicked Kind of Wonderful” series this week, but after seeing Wicked For Good last night —- that’s not where I am mentally; I want to reflect on this iconic film in a different way. (I will finish that series soon though, don’t worry!) Below is a thread that I posted ( on threads, where I’m posting more commentary ) before passing out o...

I hate this part of internet culture where something happens and we all immediately want to comment on it and give our hot takes. And I especially hate how quick society is to make light of something very scary and serious just because it happened to a celebrity. I also hate how righteous people can be - as if having a keyboard gives us the right to say what kind of behavior is okay and not okay....

Welcome back to The Nuance Diaries! I write what sensitive, deeply feeling people are thinking but don’t say. AKA the stuff you usually save for the group chat. Free subscribers receive occasional free posts, and paid subscribers ($7/month) receive at least 1-2 essays a week + access to The Authenticity Library + my full archive of 150+ posts. I spent yesterday, November 4th 2025, desperately tryi...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thenuancediaries.substack.com I wrote this song before and after one of the worst anxiety attacks of my life. The first verse or so came to me on the F train, coming home from Gowanus, Brooklyn. And then the rest came to me very quickly, almost 24 hours later, when I was back in my body. It was the first time that I had really, really i...

Dylan Mulvaney didn’t change her name when she transitioned — but her one-woman show inspired me to change mine. The name of my newsletter, that is. Dylan briefly discusses nuance at the end of her iconic one-woman show, The Least Problematic Woman in the World. Something about hearing that word, in the context she presented it in felt like a lightbulb moment. I was like, ‘Oh, right, nuance. This...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thenuancediaries.substack.com If you’re new here, welcome! Here inside the nuance diaries (formerly Wild Cozy Free), I write the things that highly observant, deeply feeling people are thinking, but rarely say aloud. Writing is how I attempt to make sense of this sharp, messy, imperfect, wild world. Paid subscribers ($7/month) get at le...

If you’re new here, welcome! Here inside the nuance diaries (formerly Wild Cozy Free), I write the things that highly observant, deeply feeling people are thinking, but rarely say aloud. Writing is how I attempt to make sense of this sharp, messy, imperfect, wild world. Paid subscribers ($7/month) get at least one essay each week + access to my archive of 140+ posts and podcasts + other fun perks,...

People are often taken aback when I talk about my time at The Mountain School. I don’t really blame them; if I met me, I would probably be surprised that I’d spent four months on a farm in Vermont when I was 16, too. But I did. And I loved it. I loved seeing the stars at night. I loved the community that my semester formed. I even grew to love the animals that horrified me at first. (I still don’t...

The swiftie in me kind of died writing that. But it’s true. She can’t. To be clear, Taylor has saved my world many times over. I vividly remember hearing ‘Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind’ in my childhood/teenage bedroom, and being forever changed. And yet, as powerful as Taylor’s music has been for me, she alone cannot save the world, and we have to stop acting like i...

I wrote the song Storybook Undone almost exactly two years ago after signing a copy of the Best Women’s Stage Monologues of 2022 , an anthology in which I’m featured. Here in this book you will find 70 very diverse monologues written for women. These pieces present great acting challenges, and actors will have the pleasure of sinking their teeth into this sublime material while continuing to perfe...

I am *not* a licensed mental health professional. RESOURCES available at AFSP and 988 and NAMI and one of my favorite resources for Black women and non-binary individuals, The Loveland Foundation . (These are also copied again at the end of the post.) Today is suicide prevention day. As I sit here writing this, it’s the night before. I had no idea that today was the exact day, as I was writing all...

Hi there, A lot has changed since I wrote this post back in August ‘25. As I sit here writing this update, it’s November 30th, ‘25. The first change, the name of this newsletter! It’s now The Nuance Diaries! The second thing, a post I never thought I’d publish, went viral. The third thing, and perhaps the most important — I went against pretty much everything I said in the essay below. Yes, I have...

Quick announcement - I’ve decided to throw out my strict posting schedule. I’m still going to limit myself to emailing you once a week because I refuse to clutter your inbox. BUT in the meantime, over on Substack, I will be posting as much as I want, whenever I want. What does this actually mean, Alexa? I’ll still show up in your inbox once a week. Sometimes, I’ll post something and opt out of ema...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thenuancediaries.substack.com I wrote this song about a year ago, and it’s one of my favorite songs I’ve ever written. The phrase “I know I’m working hard, and sometimes I can see it” came from one of my best friends during a conversation about how it can be hard to see our own progress when there’s no tangible ‘proof’ of how hard we’re...

Hi friends. It’s been a minute. Many minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months since I last published anything here. I have been doing a lot of writing and stopping and starting and stopping and rewriting and musing on what my first post back would be. I haven’t published anything personal that really speaks to what's going on with me in a while. I feel almost paralyzed with anxiety every time I sit...

LINKS MENTIONED https://www.sophiekinsella.co.uk Alexa's FB Marketplace Authenticity and Money Conversation w/Melissa Mitt Essay I Wrote About Selling My Coffeetable Read the full essay/transcript at wildcozyfree.substack.com . Excerpt below! “OK don't panic.” Books 1-6 in Sophie Kinsella’s brilliant Shopaholic series all start with those three words except for the one that begins with, "OK. I can...

I am in my own lane I will not let myself down I am in my own place, I am my own house I’m sitting on my living room floor on a chilly January Sunday. I just sold a coffee table I’ve never really liked, to a recent college graduate who loves it. She’s furnishing her first New York City apartment. I’ve been wanting to sell this table for a while, so I’m thrilled that it’s finally sold. And yet, I i...

You might be wondering what the hell I have to say to you that’s important enough that I’d post something on Christmas Eve. CHRISTMAS EVE!! A day often, rightfully reserved for last-minute shopping, cooking, seven fishes dinners, holiday movies, and maybe some semi-peaceful (or at least tolerable?) time with loved ones. Or maybe - you’re excited to be hearing from me, in which case… Either way, I...

Hello friends, We’re a week away from Thanksgiving. Which likely means you’ll be asking Jesus to take the wheel any day now. While I do not have Jesus’ direct extension line, I do have something else that can help. MY HOLIDAY SURVIVAL KIT PARTY! I want to share these tools, resources, and insights about surviving the holidays with as many people as possible before Thanksgiving next week. WHY? Beca...

Transcript at wildcozyfree.substack.com The Holiday Survival Kit Party (Both on demand course access and live workshop tickets) is ON SALE until midnight PST. For SIXTY PERCENT off. I created the Holiday Survival Kit Party series because I wanted to give people the tools and resources that I’ve used over the last few years to bring more intentionality and authenticity to the holiday season. I LOVE...