The Franchise

Clint takes the director's chair and decides the best thing to do would be filming a gang rape. So there's that. But then Jim Carrey, Liam Neeson and Patricia Clarkson come along to liven things up a bit. The Young Pope. Sundays and Mondays at 9 on HBO.

FORCE!!! First, Clint Eastwood participates in Battle of the Network Stars and then he checks out Tyne Daly's ass. Somehow, it's all very racist and occasionally boring.

Clint Eastwood finally hits our shores. With a chair. And a pretty sweet handgun. Do you feel lucky?

Raja Gosnell edits his way to the driver's seat and is most definitely NOT Indian. Then we turn on the boob tube for Kevin Returns and a sweet little ghost story with Malcolm McDowell.

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!! Macauley Culkin run around a whole lot! Plus, we debate the merits of the first one and totally agree that the second one is a mess. BUZZ, YOUR GIRLFRIEND! WOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFF!

Straight from the loony bin, we're back! And we're talking all things Westworld, Michael Crichton, Peter Fonda being terrible, Yul Brynner's odd sashay with Blythe Danner and especially Spa World. Oh yes. Spa World. Plus, we talk a little TV. Wiki-wild. Wiki-Wild-Wild-West.

Aaron Farinelli is back to talk mandibles with us this week. First, those pesky xenomorphs are back and this time there's teen drama! Then, Adrian Brody growls his way through Nimrod's jungle. 

Danny Glover is an action star and the hellish LA streets of 1997. And then your boy and mine, Paul W.S. Anderson, turns the lights out for a brawl to end them all. At least until the sequel. Whoever wins, we lose. 

Get in the chopper. It's testosterone in overdrive this week. 

We slog through the drudgery that is the Austin Powers franchise, a half-assed sprawl of sex and poop jokes. "Get in my belly," it says, and we try our hardest not to be swallowed up.

It's our most shagadelic episode yet! With all that that entails. Yeah, baby. Yeah. 

We cover one of the best movies of all time! Then we cover its Jack Nicholson-helmed sequel, which is not one of the best movies of all time. Really not. Like, way not.

Michael Bay invades Crystal Lake. PLUS: We rank all 11 (12?) Friday the 13th movies.

Jason turns out to be a little wormy thing. Then he goes to space. Oh, New Line Cinema. What hath thee wrought?

JASON VS. CARRIE! Um, I mean Tina. JASON FIGHTS A BOAT! CRACK! HEROIN! And the beginning of the "Kane Hodder era" if that means anything to anybody.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS. And then a good movie. Check it out. Two of the absolute strangest films (I mean movies) of this franchise.

A YOYO FLYING AT YOU!!!!!!!! And then The Final Chapter. Part 4 of 11. With Corey Feldman and 80s Crispin Glover, the greatest actor of all time. 

We enter the spookiest month of the year by covering a major horror franchise! It's got boobs, decapitations and ratty old sweaters. And a guy in a wheelchair taking a machete to the face. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

Tommy Lee Jones wins an Oscar! For a sixties TV adaptation?! And then RDJ gets PISSED. But Wesley Snipes owns. 

Chevy Chase makes a masterpiece. Then he goes insane. 

ROBOT OCTOPI! MONICA BELLUCCI! HUNDREDS OF HUGO WEAVINGS! Oh my.

We try to suss out whether The Matrix is still good. And whether The Wachowskis and Keanu and Laurence Fishburne were ever good. But at least we still love Carrie Anne Moss.

We dip our toes into the DCU with these two giant monstrosities. And we can finally say goodbye to the consistent bummer that was the Superman franchise. PLUS: An exciting interview with director Zack Snyder. 

Mark Pillow menaces Superman! And then Henry and Daniel get into a knock-down drag-out fight about Brandon Routh or whatever. 

Supergirl almost gets raped and Jimmy Olsen is banging high school chicks, and ugh. This movie is disgusting.