The Franchise

We FINALLY get to see Freddy molest some kids. Then we ranked all the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Won't you join us as we wrap up October?

Wes returns to sketch out Scream and also to save the world from an ancient evil force who looks like Robert Englund or whatever. Then, we finally get our old friend Jason back. We just wanted to take another look at him.

The boys are back in Haddonfield for an all-new Laurie Strode adventure! Plus, John Carpenter rankings!

Jason Anthony Harris (Public Speaking) joins us to discuss Tadpole Demons, Negligent Orderlies, the Nintendo Power Glove and the full history of Mr. Frederick Krueger.

We rank the Arquettes. Also, we dig into two more Nightmares Upon Elm Street. What won't Robert Englund do? Whither the Fat Boys? Does Freddy sleep? So many questions answered. (Sorry it sounds like this. Technical Diffs this week).

Spooktober is finally here and we've decided to cover this Robert Englund child murder octilogy! First, Henry checks out the original for the first time ever and Daniel compiles a Wes Craven ranking. Then, we get our finest leather gear on and watch a crazy sequel with a predatory gym teacher. 

It took us forever to get to this one, like a cruise ship leisurely riding the open surf into a small resort community. Pop quiz, hotshot! We answer the big questions: Is Keanu good? Is Sandy B.? Dennis Hopper is, but what about Willem Dafoe? Was UB40 wiped out in an explosion? All this and more on The Franchise. 

Resident Predator expert Aaron Farinelli (whalefall.com) joins us once again on this bonus episode to discuss the already-forgotten Shane Black entry in the series. Where does it rank? Plus, Henry learns of Shane Black's sex offender friend live on air! 

We say goodbye to our Harry Potter coverage (for now) a day early! (Enjoy!) We'll answer all your burning questions: Did Lavender Brown survive? Do we like Alfonso the best? Who is Turtle in Harry's entourage? Just how many Weasleys are there??? Plus, a Harry Potter ranking!

Tim Ahlin joins us (disrupts us?) to discuss his vasectomy. We also occasionally bring up these two Harry Potter movies, one of which Henry was way into. Tim unveils two new theme songs and he and Henry stonewall Daniel throughout. It all ends up being a pretty good time. 

The Real Weird Sisters turn off the niceties and come on to do some straight-up Franchise ranting! You'll get to hear the name "Alfonso" spoken in withering tones. You'll learn whether Henry understands what Wormtail means. You'll even find out whether Alice Asleson and Martha Krebill are Team Edward or Team Jacob. It's all right here on our longest and bestest episode ever. 

We pop over to Platform 9 3/4 to take a chugga chugga choo choo trip all the way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, with its overbearing, biased-as-fuck headmaster Albus Dumbledore. We talk about the books and the crazy casts of these movies, and discuss whether Quidditch makes sense and whether Americans would like it. Here's a sock.

We take a trip to Nilbog this week, in what somehow became our longest episode to date, to discuss Troll and Troll 2 with special guest Aaron Farinelli (Whale Fall). But don't worry. Our double decker bologna sandwiches will surely protect us from the evils of vegetarianism. Plus, a special appearance from a certain ornery Italian filmmaker! 

A Tony Scott ranking. Visits from Garry Marshall, Penny Marshall and George Lucas. A ranking of everything Jon Landis has created, from An American Werewolf in London all the way down to Max Landis. What a podcast this is.

We rank every Eddie Murphy and get a 1984 list from Blockbuster Video before digging into a Martin Brest movie that is heavily about bananas.

How could we resist this? ABBA songs, Pierce Brosnan yowling, Stellan Skarsgaard shirtless and a sequel potentially less necessary than Hardbodies 2. 

Christopher McQuestionable joins the MI franchise for a duo of films. We'll talk Baldwin and Cavill extensively and we'll decide whether all the Fallout fuss is merited. 

JJ is back up in this piece, which allows Daniel to make primo Felicity and Lost refs. Then, we're adding an em-dash to the title and bringing in Ren-dogg. Hank and Daniel argue over the relative merits of Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Paula Patton in this episode. PLUS, a ranking of every Tom Cruise movie! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HENRY!

This episode includes both an extreme ranking of every Brian De Palma movie and Daniel repeatedly singing Limp Bizkit. So I don't see how anyone could possibly skip it. 

We're still purging. Daniel has lost his spirit and even Henry is conceding defeat. Will we make it through? Plus, more Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot references than you're probably expecting.

We saw another movie in theaters! A guy did something creepy to Henry! One of us really liked this! Like, too much! 

Henry brings a Blumhouse to the table and Daniel is intrigued by the  amount of Friday Night Lights, Lost, Parenthood and The Wire actors involved. Do we survive The Purge?  Please pardon the sound quality in the first 12 minutes. Daniel is an idiot.

We head back to 1984 to yap about a couple of breakdancing classics. Shabba Doo! Boogaloo Shrimp! Christopher McDonald? 

We dig deep into Brad Bird, rank the Pixars and learn about voice actors. Daniel has a run-in with some kids and Henry makes his 2018 list. New theme! Plus, the perfect podcast for fans of the "Heavy Hitters" theme. Finally, we check in with George Lucas while Daniel can't stop doing Holly Hunter impressions.

We went to see the lady Ocean's reboot! But first, it's a franchise update and an updated 2018 list.