Healing the Unresolved

Today’s podcast answers a question from somebody struggling over whether to go to a family function. The source of the struggle is that the family of origin is profoundly dysfunctional and unhealthy. Today’s podcast focuses on discerning between healthy avoidance and unhealthy avoidance and knowing precisely when it’s okay to not go to something.

When doing the healing work, we can often find ourselves in a different space than many people we have been used to spending time with. We can find ourselves in uncharted waters as we begin to see life through a different lens. Knowing how to handle changes in dynamics and friendships as a result of our growth can be challenging. Today’s podcast speaks to this. It also answers a second question ab...

Today’s podcast speaks on a valuable resource that is in short supply, and that is empathy. Each day as we set out into the world we are in the spiritual space of the road from Jerusalem to Jericho. The wounded of today are suffering from the wounds of not being loved fully or enough and being starved of attention, understanding, and compassion. The medicine of the ancient world was wine and oil b...

Today’s podcast answers two questions. The first is about if we can heal from painful prenatal experiences that are stored in implicit memory. The second question pertains to whether or not there are appropriate situations were complete cut off from a family member is okay.

Today’s podcast offers three brief reflections. We find ourselves in the midst of a season of great change. Rather than feel helpless in the face of all the change around us, we could choose to be deliberate with the time that God has given us. If we can be good stewards of the time that God has given us, gratitude will be easier to come by. Gratitude and self-acceptance open the doors to the peac...

Today’s podcast speaks about a deep and gnawing fear that many people struggle with, and that is the fear of not being good enough. When we live with this fear we find ourselves trapped in a never ending quest to seek affirmation, please others, and be successful. Our life can be spent in the never-ending act of treading water by trying to keep our heads above the emotional waterline between being...

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone whose spouse has been suffering from untreated mental illness which is exacting a heavy toll on the submitter of the question. Both the husband and the wife have a responsibility to look out for each other, protect each other, and play a role in carrying each other‘s crosses. If one member of the marriage believes it’s all on them to carry the load a...

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone whose elderly mother is in need of help, but has cut herself off from her adult children. The mother has behaved harmfully to her kids in the past and suffers from mental illness. The submitter of the question is racked with despair, sadness, anger, and guilt. She is also profoundly struggling with confusion over what her role or duty is as a daughte...

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who suffered abuse when very young. In addition to that, she suffered abandonment from her parents when they did not support her and kept it as a shameful secret. Despite all of this, the submitter of the question seeks God and comes to church, but carries heavy burdens of beliefs that God doesn’t love her, is fed up with her, and that she does a poo...

Today's podcast answers a series of questions from someone wanting to help their friend not be so vulnerable to relationships with people suffer from narcissistic traits. Specifically, what makes people vulnerable to narcissistic behaviors and how to heal from the very things that make us vulnerable to being manipulated. The real reality is, everything that we need is within us and overlooked. Tod...

Today’s podcast discusses a difficult topic. Narcissism is a word that evokes strong emotions in many. It is a loaded word that no one wants to be associated with. However, it is on the rise, and it is time for us to start having very open and genuine discussions about it. Narcissism is a continuum or spectrum. The various presentations of it on each part of the spectrum are discussed.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who is trying to understand why their friendships and relationships don’t go very far and always seem to end broken. Despite doing years of talk therapy this pattern persists. To break out from trauma, there will be behaviors that need to be changed and new procedural memories to be learned.

Today’s podcast offers a brief reflection of how to incorporate our traumatic or painful experiences into our spiritual life. It also speaks to the negative beliefs of believing that somehow it means something bad about us or our relationship with God that we had these experiences. Our spiritual life is spent ascending the slopes of Mount Tabor. Having to do the healing work offers us unique gifts...

Today’s podcast discusses how what is stored in our implicit memory can often drive so much of our present life and cause us to live according to a past narrative that is obsolete, rather than our present life. Unlike behaviors, which are easier to target and isolate, because they have a beginning and an end; painful memories stored in implicit memory can dictate our present behavior and be much h...

Today’s podcast speaks to someone who is seeking advice over how to get relief from their unceasing envy and the act of always comparing themselves to others. Today’s podcast explores how our envy is rooted in either resentment, yearning, or is fear based. Uncovering what we are really missing and yearning for, can bring quick relief to envy and comparing ourselves to others.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who finally overcame their fear of seeking a relationship and ended up getting rejected. When we’ve had a history of painful experiences or trauma, such rejections can make us feel like it’s happening all over again. However, the victory lies in that we did not practice avoidance, but had the courage to be vulnerable and to try. So long as our source...

Today’s podcast answers a question from a husband and wife who are struggling with the toxic and abusive behavior of their in-laws. For many years, they thought that honoring one’s mother and father meant tolerating the abuse and striving to appease them. The husband and wife are now realizing that this is not sustainable and wanting to change, but are struggling with feelings of guilt that someho...

Today’s podcast discusses various obstacles to practicing acceptance of our life and the present moment and how to resolve those obstacles. It’s very liberating and peaceful to come to the realization that it’s okay and safe to accept the present. It’s precisely then, that we have an open chapter before us, and to become quite deliberate with what we write in that empty space.

Today’s podcast speaks on the topic of age regressions. Some of our most profound moments of discomfort in our lives can occur when we are experiencing an age regression, in which we revert back to an earlier time in our life or developmental stage, as a result of stress, unmet needs, or life changes. Understanding this phenomenon, and how to resolve it, is the focal point of today’s topic.

Today’s podcast discusses an essential skill that is needed for the healing work. When in counseling, one of the roles of the counselor is to help us see the larger things that are going on in our lives or what is really behind our struggles. However, we can learn to do this with ourselves as well. It is critical for the healing work and it is critical for our spiritual life. We can learn to use o...

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who fears that their struggles with attachment and abandonment will disrupt any future marriage. The idea of future relationships seems murky and intimidating. Today’s podcast focuses on how to reduce that murkiness and create clarity, goals, and clear direction moving forward into the arena of relationships.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who’s trying to understand their spouse’s anger. Inevitably, all of us have projected or displaced emotions meant for ourselves onto our spouses. Sometimes when we work our ourselves, admit our mistakes, apologize, it can remind our spouse of what they themselves might not be doing. Some spouses will consider this an invitation to improve themselves...

Many who struggle with depression carry shame and guilt over their depression. We might feel weak, inadequate, and even that we are being ungrateful. The reality is, that those who are the most healthy often will struggle with depression at some point, because of the dysfunction of others and because of the fallen world in which we live.

Today’s podcast discusses how the resurrection appearances are evidence that God does not abandon us to grief and loss. What modern day trauma research is telling us, God was already putting into practice in the aftermath of His betrayal crucifixion.

Today’s podcast explores an ever present reality when we struggle in relationships. That reality is the possibility that we are struggling with a disrupted attachment style. We all have a need for love and safety. When in early life, an early caregiver was not consistent in providing love and safety, it can create a template for how we perceive and function in relationships. Understanding our atta...