The Psychology of your 20s

Uncertainty is the defining emotion of our 20s. Career paths, relationships, identity, purpose ... so much of this decade is marked by not knowing. Does that have to be as uncomfortable as we think it does? In today’s episode, we unpack the psychology of uncertainty: why our brains fear it, how it triggers anxiety and avoidance, and why trying to “figure it all out” might be doin...

Over the past 6 months I've been asking people: what is the biggest mistake you made in your 20s? I've heard from over 5'000 people, some of them 21, some of them 80 and I have combined all their responses to make the ultimate list of the 20 biggest mistakes people make in their 20s, for the people, by the people.  From love, to career, to finances, going to college, friendship, taking risks:...

The life of the highly sensitive person is often misunderstood. Highly sensitive aren't just people who cry too much or get overwhelmed, take things too personally: they actually take in so much of the world that it can be too much. They feel everything, from joy to sadness, so immediately and profoundly. They are also so in tune with the emotions of all those around them that sometimes it can be...

You know when someone seems to breeze through life, can approach any social situation and challenge with such self-assured confidence? It seems innate - something they were born with. But what if that's not true? What if, instead of a fixed personal trait, confidence is actually a set of learnable abilities, a dynamic skill that anyone can cultivate, sharpen, and ultimately master? Today, we&rsquo...

Sigmund Freud is one of the most famous and contested names in psychology. Often reduced to couches, cigars, dreams, sex, and blaming everything on your mother, Freud’s real story is much more complicated. In this bonus episode, we take a look at who Freud actually was - his medical background, the development of his method, and why his views are so context specific. We explore: • The d...

Productivity advice often tells us to push harder, wake up earlier, and squeeze more out of every hour. But in this episode, we take a different approach. Instead of treating productivity like a test of willpower, we look at the psychology behind focus, procrastination, energy, motivation, and rest - and why working with your brain is usually more effective than trying to bully it into action. We...

TW: Discussions of miscarriage/pregnancy Grace Beverley is a founder, an entrepreneur, and a seasoned professional when it comes to pursuing the ideas your have, but also knowing when to slow down, recover from burnout and let yourself be vulnerable.  In today's episode we discuss her journey from studying music at Oxford to launching over five businesses, and her next chapter as a parent. We...

We all know that therapy is amazing, in fact it’s life-changing for many people. But what does therapy actually do? And what makes a good therapist?  In today’s episode we’re joined by Dr Sandra Espinoza, Associate Professor of the Couple and Family Therapy Program at Alliant University. Our discussion includes:  Her journey into helping others  Why the best therap...

At some point in most of our lives, most of us have felt that we are ‘too much’. We might feel that we are too loud, have too many opinions, are too extroverted, too needy, or generally take up too much emotional ‘space’. In this episode, we explore what this feels like when it bleeds into our personal and professional lives, the impact of suppressing emotions upon our immu...

In many ways, sibling rivalry is an integral part of growing up in a multiple-child household – the arguments, the jealousy, the competition. But as we explore in this episode, those sibling dynamics often don’t stop in childhood, but actually following us into our 20s and adulthood, shaping how we see ourselves, relate to our families, and how we carry old roles.  We explore: &bu...

There comes a point in all of our lives where we realise we've outgrown who we used to be. Sometimes it happens all at once, due to a breakup, a move, a loss, or a major life change. Other times (most of the time), it's much quieter.  As painful as that can feel, it's also one of the clearest signs that you're evolving. In this episode, we explore the psychology of outgrowing your old life, w...

TW: Discussions of suicide. This week, I'm joined by mental health campaigner Ben West for one of the most moving conversations we've ever had on the show. At 18, Ben lost his brother to suicide. He has taken that experience and decided to change the lives of thousands, if not millions with his 'Reasons to Stay' campaign.  In this episode we discuss: Why grief changes over time  How to f...

Giving you all an update on my life and my future in London.  Watch on Netflix:  HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @ jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @ thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @ thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many of us feel that our attention spans are nothing like they used to be. So many of us can recall a time when we would read books for hours with ease, concentrate for hours, focus on a movie without going on our phone. But not any more. In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind our dwindling attention spans, via the consumption of endless content, task switching, lack of sleep and more. B...

What might be seen as a ‘boring’ life is often just a life that wouldn’t be as popular on Instagram. In a world that glamorises chaos, spontaneity and constant stimulation, we need to create lives that truly nourish us, provide safety, and align with who we really are. In this episode, we explore the psychology behind why so many of us begin craving calm as we get older, why that...

When we go for a job interview, it can feel as if our entire existence is being judged. It can come down to the feeling of someone else getting to call the shots on whether we are intellectually competent at best, or personally desirable at worst. In this episode, we’ll explore why job interviews can feel so stressful, identify why positive first impressions are vital, and discuss some psych...

Living with a chronic illness in your 20s can feel like carrying an invisible weight that nobody else can see. Beyond the hospital appointments, surgeries, medications and diagnoses, there is a hidden psychological burden: the anxiety, grief, uncertainty, identity struggles and resilience required to keep moving forward when your body feels beyond your control. In this week's episode, I sit down w...

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is one of the most famous theories in psychology. We've all seen the pyramid. We've all been told that before we can become our best selves, we need to climb through five levels of human needs, from food and safety all the way to self-actualisation. But what if that's not actually what Maslow believed? In this bonus episode, as part of our series myth-busting psych...

Most of us will spend the majority of our adult lives working. So why does the traditional 9–5 leave so many people feeling exhausted, trapped, unfulfilled, or quietly wondering: is this really it? In this episode, we explore the psychology behind why the 9–5 can feel so unnatural for some people, why work often becomes the centre of our identity, and what to do when the life you've be...

Superstitions can seem irrational on the surface, but beneath them is something incredibly human - the need for meaning, comfort, and a sense of control in an uncertain world. In this episode, we explore the psychology of superstition - why the mind creates these beliefs, why they can feel so reassuring, and what they reveal about anxiety, ritual, hope, and the stories we inherit. We explore: &bul...

Why do we become obsessed with people who don't want us back? Even when we know it will never work? Even when we know there's no convincing them? In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind unrequited love, limerence, longing, and the irresistible pull of unavailable people, including: The neuroscience of craving, attraction, and obsession How intermittent reinforcement keeps us emotiona...

We all have something about our behaviour or our lives we really want to change. But every time we go to try, we find we lose motivation very quickly and end up back where we started with the behaviour still in tact. Whether it's quitting smoking, exercising more, wanting to eat healthier, sleep better, stop gossiping, be a better partner; bad habits usually all have the same psychology.  In...

Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our hobbies. Why is that, and what is the consequence? In today's episode we break down the psychology of why our hobbies are so important, including:  The debate around what makes a hobby  How m...

We’re all familiar with the story of the boy who wouldn’t grow up: Peter Pan. But when someone displays similar traits in real life - issues with commitment, responsibilities, and adulting in general - they might be experiencing what’s referred to as Peter Pan Syndrome. In this episode, we break down the psychology of Peter Pan Syndrome, including why it happens, the frustration...

Being your own harshest critic can feel productive, protective, even familiar, but over time, it becomes less of a motivator and more of a cage. In this episode, we explore the psychology of self-hatred - where it begins, how it becomes a deeply ingrained, and what it actually steals from us over time.  We explore: •        How early experiences shape the inner critic...