The Psychology of your 20s

On today's episode we welcome on entrepreneur, founder and Hot, Smart, Rich icon, Maggie Sellers to discuss her formula and mindset for having it all, how she founded her business and her best tips for confidence + more. Maggie created a unique space on the internet that helps women break into the male dominated spaces of investing, tech and entrepreneurship whilst not sacrificing their authentici...

For our very first guest of the holiday season, I invited on Dr Lisa Miller - a professor at Columbia University, author, clinical psychologist and researcher to discuss her profound work on the intersection between spirituality and mental health.  Our spiritual health is often the dimension of wellbeing we neglect the most, but in this episode we uncover why having a strong belief system, sense o...

There is a lot of terrible news out there, so much so that we could spend every hour of every day reading it and still not be done. What's worse is that we can now access that news at any time, any where, any place from our phones and this has lead to a phenomena known as doomscrolling. Doomscrolling may feel comforting, but it leads to more existential anxiety, stress and apathy. It's not great f...

The best things in life aren't always the easiest and it's often this exertion and extra effort that holds us back from diving in or fully committing. Whether it's a new routine, an ambitious study schedule or workout plan, knowing how we can use psychology and neuroscience to make hard tasks easier is incredibly valuable. In today's episode we discuss:  The 5 minute rule  The power of a persona ...

Friendships are hard. Add in distance and they can get even harder at times. But long distance friendships seem like a fact of life in our 20s as people scatter for school, work, travel, and just because they want to. Whilst it's said that some 50% of these relationships fail, I want to give you the tools to help your long distance friendships succeed. In this episode we discuss:  The psychologica...

Public speaking is one of our biggest fears as a species - some 75% of us list public speaking as our biggest and greatest fear. In today's episode, I want to discuss why that is and where this fear stems from, socially, psychologically and evolutionary, but also how we can transform our attitude to public speaking and excel, including tips based in psychology such as:  Creating a persona and mode...

Solo travelling is something that we romanticise a lot in our 20s and is a big thing on many of our bucket lists. It can be such a transformative experience, it allows you to listen to your intuition better, explore the places you've always dreamed about without waiting for others and builds a unique kind of confidence. In today's episode, we break down the psychology of solo travelling, including...

A lot of us try to convince ourselves we can be friends with our ex in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, but is that necesserily the best idea? In 2022 I did an episode with my ex-boyfriend talking about how a friendship was totally possible, well since then it is obvious to say that I have changed my mind, and in this episode I give my reasons, including:  Why we (mistakedly) try to stay frie...

Many of us have been facing increasing levels of political anxiety in the past days and weeks. It seems that the world has never been more divisive and polarised and there is a lot that we are uncertain and fearful of. In today’s episode we talk about how we can acknowledge that the future feels scary, but still find an internal sense of safety and peace, including: The value of stoic principles a...

We all know the stereotypes about the eldest child, the youngest and the only child, but the middle child often seems to be left out, and not just from our conversations on birth order theory, but also seemingly from the family sometimes. In today's episode, we putting a spotlight on the middle children, including how their position in the family makes them so agreeable, why they often become the...

The idea of a 'soft life' originated from a group of Nigerian influencers who chose the term to describe a way of living that was comfortable, joyful, minimised stress whilst prioritised self care and simple beauty, in comparison to hustle culture, burnout and urgency. In today's episode we are going to go through 5 practical tips to make this gentle life your reality, including:  The 'Picture Thi...

Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our hobbies. Why is that, and what is the consequence? In today's episode we break down the psychology of why our hobbies are so important, including:  The debate around what makes a hobby  How many hobbie...

Daydreaming can be a perfectly normal part of life - zoning out in the shower, before we fall asleep, on the train to work. But some of us cross over into dangerous territory or what we call maladaptive daydreaming where we can't pull ourselves away from the fantasy. We feel disconnected and it makes our real life feel so much less bright and enjoyable. It can cause us a lot of distress and distra...

Sometimes the loudest critic, our biggest hater is not someone we know, it is ourselves. We are the ones who are the first to judge ourselves, to shut ourselves and our ambitions down, to say the nastiest things. In today's episode we break down why we are our own worst critic, including:  How we learn self criticism in childhood The evolutionary component to criticism  The role of the super ego ...

In our 20s it can feel like a mad rush to find the one. If you are single and dating, you know the experience of going on what seems like dozens of dates only to be disappointed and, at the end of the day, exhausted and yet you still haven't found someone. In this episode, we discuss why that is including:  The signs your experiencing dating burnout What dating burnout and traditional burnout have...

At some stage in our 20s, all of us will experience what I call 'The Loneliest Chapter' - a period where we feel detached, disconnected and isolated. Whilst this experience can feel terrible and make us question our relationships, friendships and selves, it's an important rite of passage and actually ends up teaching us a lot. In today's episode we discuss:  What is the 'lonely' chapter of our 20s...

What is the cost of caring too much for others? Always being the person to fix everyone's problems? Never needing anyone, but secretly loving that everyone else relies on you? Well, it turns out it can cost you and your relationships a lot, and may also be a sign of high functioning codependency. High functioning codependency is much more common amongst people who are overachieving, overgiving and...

Shame follows us everywhere. So many of us are bound by shame about our past, our mistakes, our identity, our looks, our decisions and choices. This can make living a meaningful and fulfilling life incredibly difficult when you have your own personal, shame bully following you everywhere. In todays episode we learn:  How shame gets implanted in us The links between shame and trauma  Shame vs. guil...

At some stage in our 20s we'll have to make a life changing decision where the right choice is not at all clear: stay or leave my job, the country, my relationships? We can become paralysed in that moment, unable to take a step forward, not realising that doing nothing is, in itself, a decision. In today's episode we break down:  Why we struggle to make hard decisions The paradox of choice  Indeci...

The right person at the wrong time might be one of the saddest kinds of love stories we come across. This person may be perfect for us, our dream partner, but factors like distance, life, obligations, emotional readiness get in the way and mean that we can't be together. Despite knowing we can't be together, we can't let go and pine after this person, wondering what we could have done differently....

Let's talk about what's been going on with my mental health recently and what's changed. This is a rather vulnerable episode so please check in with yourself before listening.  Lifeline (AUS): 13 11 14 National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (US): 988  Samaritans (UK): 116 123 Mental health resources (worldwide): https://www.helpguide.org/find-help   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @ jemmasbeg Follow the...

Work makes up a large component of our lives. It's estimated that 1/3 of our waking lives will be spent working, so when that environment is toxic or harmful, it takes it's toll. Especially in our 20s, a toxic workplace can be quite a negative, formative experience and leave us with poor confidence, imposter syndrome and chronic burnout. In today's episode we discuss the psychological impact of ba...

When someone criticises us we naturally feel on edge and defensive. This is because criticism threatens our ego and our sense of self and so we have a very emotional reaction. But that doesn't have to be the case. In today's episode, we break down: What makes us so sensitive to criticism Hypercritical parenting and an aversion to feedback  Rejection sensitivity and criticism  The differences betwe...

If nothing else, our 20s are a time for reinvention and transformation. We become clearer and clearer about the version of us we want to be, and hopefully more confident around expressing our authentic elves, but sometimes this is interrupted by periods of boredom, stagnation, isolation and discomfort. These are all signs that something in our lives needs to change, and it needs to change now. In...

Flirting! Usually thought of as something used to express romantic or physical interest may actually be the secret to unlocking more connections than you can ever imagine: platonic and romantic. In today's episode we break down the psychology of flirting, including how to gain confidence in your flirting ability, the flirt languages or styles, why flirting is all about connection and low expectati...