RPGBOT.Podcast

We're back with Pathfinder Wizards, and somehow giving Tyler ten more levels of spellcasting has not improved the situation. Ash has evolved from sneaky magical assassin into a nearly undetectable menace who can freeze time and ruin your life before you know he was there. Randall has discovered that there is apparently no such thing as enough bonded-item spell slots. And Tyler's angry robot can no...

Tyler loves wizards. We know this because he told us. Repeatedly. For ninety minutes. So naturally, we gave him an entire episode to explain why the best solution to every problem is a spellbook, an alarming number of prepared spells, and occasionally sucking magical energy out of your left shoe. Meanwhile, Ash builds a tiny invisible assassin, Randall discovers that wizardry can apparently involv...

Nature is healing. Unfortunately, nature has chosen violence. We're taking the Druid from level 5 all the way to 20, which means summoning packs of velociraptors, turning into dinosaurs, raising fungal zombies, weaponizing potted plants, becoming an angry celestial nature wizard, and eventually gaining the power to erase armies with natural disasters. But none of that matters because we discovered...

Last time on Impossible Magic, we discovered that the Magus can finally move, the Summoner can finally summon, and Pathfinder's three-action economy is apparently more of a polite recommendation. Now we're back for Part 2, where Paizo hands Ash an infinite supply of disposable corpses, gives Tyler a class built entirely around weaponized graffiti, drops roughly six hundred spells on his to-do list...

Impossible Magic promises to break the boundaries of spellcasting, which apparently means letting the Magus move, allowing the Summoner to actually summon things, and giving Ash even more ways to kill player characters. We've got lightning-powered sword dashes, six-action summon turns, weapons made out of your own soul, teleporting rogues, and an archetype that looks at another caster's spell and...

Druids are what happens when a wizard looks at civilization and decides indoor plumbing was a mistake. You get questionable armor, inexplicable scimitar proficiency, the ability to become a bear, and a secret language apparently reserved for people who think Elvish is too mainstream. This week we build three dirt wizards, including an emo mushroom warrior, a cosmic hippie named Rain Shadow, and a...

After five episodes of Cyberpunk RED, we have finally reached the most dangerous part of Night City: giving each other constructive feedback. Randall begins with I mechanically didn't like this game, Tyler discovers he spent all his money on software that was permanently deleted, and Ash admits the five-page cheat sheet has ceased to meet any reasonable definition of cheat sheet. But somewhere bet...

The good news is we found J-ZK. The bad news is her skull is open, Dave is fighting a man inside the internet, Marky has replaced diplomacy with a hand chainsaw, and everyone involved is eventually on fire. Welcome to the Cyberpunk RED finale, where friendship conquers evil, violence solves several problems, and our heroes save the girl, kill the villain, jump out of a twentieth-floor window while...

Welcome to Bytopia, the Upper Plane for people who looked at Heaven and said, "This is nice, but could we make everyone work a little harder?" The weather is lovely, the neighbors are aggressively helpful, the economy is apparently powered by ethical commerce, and there's another entire world hanging upside down over your head. Also, there are adamantine dragons, because apparently even paradise n...

Welcome back to Night City, where Tyler has acquired a another cat, Randall has acquired a bedazzled bulletproof vest, and Ash has apparently acquired the Cyberpunk equivalent of Five Nights at Freddy's. This week, Marky Day becomes Marky Knight and walks willingly into something everyone immediately identifies as a murder hallway. Dave gets set on fire by a computer, Marky discovers that cartoon...

Welcome to Night City, where housing is a shipping container, breakfast is kibble, and your most reliable neighbor is a rat named Greg. This week, Marky Day and Dave Costanzo accept a perfectly normal freelance job involving stalking, blackmail, corporate espionage, breaking and entering, and possibly assault. Fortunately, Marky has love in his heart, a mandolin in his bag, and the negotiating ins...

The ranger's journey from level 5 to 20 is a majestic tale of growth, survival, and discovering that Hunter's Mark may not actually deserve permanent custody of your concentration. Randall's Gloom Stalker becomes an invisible crossbow machine, Ash's Drakewarden takes to the skies aboard a fire-breathing murder lizard, and Tyler spends sixteen levels converting every available feat, spell slot, and...

Character creation in Cyberpunk RED is simple. First, choose whether you want to be a violent criminal, a corporate criminal, or a musician who can accidentally start a cult. Then roll enough childhood trauma to explain why you live in a shipping container. This week, Randall creates Cyberpunk Mr. Rogers, a relentlessly loving rockerboy whose most treasured possession is a weapon, while Tyler crea...

Tonight, we're talking vampires, history's greatest transformation from suspiciously bloated corpse to immortal bisexual aristocrat with a castle, a cape, and absolutely no respect for personal boundaries. We dig into garlic, holy symbols, counting mustard seeds, bricks shoved into mouths, and the alarming number of vampire prevention methods involving someone's severed head near their butt. Then...

Welcome to Ranger levels 1 through 4, where you can become a deadly shadow archer, command your own miniature dragon, or sacrifice your entire action so that a flying snake with the structural integrity of wet parchment can participate in combat. In this episode, we explore Favored Enemies nobody tracks, terrain nobody visits, spells competing for the same concentration slot, and the revolutionary...

Wizards of the Coast has revealed its plans for the future of Dungeons & Dragons, and apparently the strategy is simple: fix D&D Beyond, return to Gen Con, outsource adventures to people who know what they are doing, cross over with World of Warcraft, and traumatize a convention hall full of children with a Dark Sun trailer featuring a freshly removed spine. Tyler attended the secret briefing and...

Welcome to Night City, chooms, where the sky is red, the rent is due, your landlord is probably armed, and health care arrives by helicopter only if your credit score has a body count. In this episode, Ash introduces Randall and Tyler to Cyberpunk Red, a game about surviving late-stage capitalism after it bought a katana, installed cyberlegs, and decided empathy was bad for quarterly growth. The i...

Welcome to Pandemonium, the plane where the wind screams, gravity is a rumor, and every emergency exit has a reasonable chance of dropping you directly into the Abyss. Tyler explains the cosmology, Randall attempts to locate something resembling a usable map, Ash discovers that the wind is made from every scream anyone has ever screamed, and Producer Dan quietly realizes this entire episode will r...

Tonight, the RPGBOT.Podcast enters the discourse arena, where Paizo is financially bleeding, Archives of Nethys accidentally brought a flamethrower to a contract negotiation, and the internet has already decided who the villain is without reading past the headline. Ash arrives with enough hot takes to melt adamantine, Tyler desperately attempts to preserve nuance, and Randall keeps feeding increas...

We return to Wizards of the Coast's Villainous Options, now revised after the first round was lovingly pushed down the stairs by public feedback. Some subclasses survived untouched. Some got a makeover. Some were taken behind the shed, especially the Primordial Patron, which had one great idea and the mechanical confidence of a wet napkin. Good news, though: the demon sorcerer finally feels demoni...

At levels 1 through 4, the 2014 Monk is a beautiful dream: you punch, you kick, you spend ki like a raccoon with a stolen credit card. Then levels 5 through 20 arrive, and suddenly the class asks, "Would you like to stun a dragon, run across a lake, catch a missile, become immune to poison, astral project emotionally, and still somehow worry about running out of ki before lunch?" This episode dive...

This week on the RPGBOT.Podcast, the hosts ask the eternal tabletop question: what happens when your beloved fantasy RPG grows up, gets a driver's license, discovers firearms, and immediately becomes everyone's problem? We begin with PishPash My Memory is Trash merch, accidental mug design crimes, Pride, wizard bazookas, and Ash's long-simmering legal case against the movie Bright. Then we get to...

Before the rogues can reach legendary proficiency, the episode must first survive the real high-level threats: Producer Dan being sleepy, Tyler's aggressively early bedtime policy, Ash explaining the freedom of having no kids, a Starfinder boss who walks through space walls, and the devastating possibility that a spider might disrupt Tyler's routine. Once everyone finally remembers this is suppose...

Monks are supposed to be serene masters of body, mind, and spirit, which is adorable because in 2014 DnD 5e they mostly begin life as a lightly dressed Dex-Wis-Con spreadsheet sprinting toward danger with 10 hit points and a dream. This week, the RPGBOT crew enters the monastery to ask the big questions. Can you punch your way to enlightenment? Is ki a precious spiritual resource or just a tiny ba...

Once the table finally escapes the opening chaos and cat crimes, Tyler, Randall, and Ash dive into Pathfinder 2e rogues, proving that the class is not just a sneaky knife gremlin. It is also a walking toolbox, a social menace, a battlefield problem, and so much more Show Notes This episode begins the RPGBOT.Podcast breakdown of Pathfinder 2e rogues, covering levels 1 through 10 and exploring how t...