Myopia Movies

This week, Myopia Movies kicks off an AI-themed month by diving straight into the bargain bin with A.P.E.X. —a time-traveling, robot-infested mess that wants desperately to be The Terminator and somehow ends up worse than a Power Rangers outtake.   Nick, Matt, and Keiko try to untangle a plot involving killer robots, alternate timelines, a mystery virus, and a scientist who may or may not be respo...

Welcome back to Myopia Movies, where we revisit the films of our youth and ask the important question: Were these movies actually good… or were we just children? And today—Oh boy. In honor of the release of Super Mario Galaxy, today we are revisiting Super Mario Bros. from 1993. A film that answers the question no one asked: “What if a beloved Nintendo property… was filtered through cyberpunk dyst...

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch yet another Jurassic Park/World Movie! Who will attempt to act with this idiotic script? Is this the dumbest new dino yet? Was it worth it to save this family? Why do we keep doing this? Sigh...... Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!  We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us o...

This week on Myopia Movies, we plug directly into the algorithmic void with one of the most expensive “what happened here?” movies in recent memory: The Electric State (2025).   This is the kind of film that looks incredible in still images—rusted robots, abandoned highways, that eerie retro-future aesthetic—and yet somehow feels completely hollow once it starts moving. It’s all vibes, no voltage....

“This movie feels like a ChatGPT movie if there’s ever been one.” This week on Myopia Movies, the gang continues its tour through the worst films of the previous year with 2025’s War of the Worlds—a baffling, screen-filled sci-fi mess that somehow turns an NSA analyst played by Ice Cube into humanity’s last hope. The panel digs into the movie’s strange obsession with surveillance tech, brand-name...

This week on Myopia Movies, we kick off our annual dive into some of the worst movies of the previous year. And we are starting with a real doozy: the live-action 2025 remake of Snow White. This is one of those films that somehow manages to miss why the original worked in the first place. The charm, the simplicity, the fairy-tale tone—gone. In their place: baffling creative decisions, tonal confus...

This month we revisit Cruel Intentions, the film that asked, “What if Dangerous Liaisons… but everyone shops at Abercrombie?” Schemes! Staircases! Smirks that could cut glass! Where impossibly wealthy teenagers treat Manhattan like a chessboard and human emotions like a hobby. It’s seduction, manipulation, and dramatic journal entries, all set to the most aggressively 1999 soundtrack imaginable.  ...

This week on Myopia Movies, we sharpen the knife and head back to Woodsboro in honor of Scream 7 slashing into theaters. That’s right — we revisited Scream 2, the sequel to a horror classic we genuinely love… and enrolled ourselves in Sequel Class to figure out what went wrong. More meta? Yes. More bodies? Absolutely. Better than the original? Well… let’s just say the killer might not be the only...

This week as we continue the erotic thrillers month, we get a little witchy.  We watched The Craft, the second best Neve Campbell and Skeet Ulrich of 1996, see the previous episode.    Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share We are riffers on Cinep...

This week on Myopia Movies, we give you a peak behind the curtains as we try to explain how we do what we do on the podcast and the Cineprov live show. From a veteran, a young gun, and a newbie.  Host: Nic  Panel: Nur and Keiko.  Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64U...

This week on Myopia Movies, we dig something out of the trash! Not the episode, of course, but the movie! Listen to episode 58 Congo remastered nine years later! Man, we have been doing this too long. Watch CGI Gorillas for no good reason!  Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlis...

This week on Myopia Movies, we continue our Erotic Thrillers month with the spiciest 27 year old high schoolers you have ever seen! We watched Wild Things, one of the most paused VHS tapes in history.  Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share We are...

This week we start a slew of Erotic Thrillers with the first name you think of when you think erotic and thriller, Jim Belushi. We watched Traces of Red! A trashy movie set in the swamps of Florida. Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share We are ri...

Hey everybody, welcome back to Myopia Movies. This week we’re tackling an action-silly Nicolas Cage classic: Con Air. And honestly—if you’ve never seen it before, I almost want to tell you to stop and watch it first… but our discussion is good enough that you’ll survive either way. Fair warning: this episode got chaotic. So chaotic, in fact, that our newly married editor and panelist, Nur Chernnet...

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn a valuable cinematic lesson: you can be absolutely slovenly and still be the hero of a movie. We watched Mitchell . Yes, that Joe Don Baker vehicle, where our rumpled, sweat-soaked protagonist somehow gets the girl… and then has her arrested for prostitution. Chivalry is dead, folks. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and r...

This week on Myopia Movies we celebrate the New Year with a movie set in that very year, I am about as optimistic about this year as the title of the film. We watched Doom, a terrifying portent of things to come.  How will DOOM hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak Starring: Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, DeObia Oparei, Ben Daniels Want to pick a movie...

Enjoy this early Christmas Present! This week on Myopia Movies, someone needs to save Christmas and we know just the corporate spokesman, know-what-I-mean? We watched Ernest Saves Christmas, Animal Control and Air Traffic Control in the same film?!?!?! Vern... How will Ernest Saves Christmas hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Lauren and Jeremy Directed by John R. Cherry III Starring: Jim Varney, Douglas Se...

This week on Myopia Movies, we watched the classic story where an outsider falls in love with an indigenous person and tries to protect them and their land. Ok, not Pocahontas, no, not Ferngully. Ok, not original, but valuable property that somehow earned itself a land in Disney World and now has four sequels coming out, including one this weekend. We watched Avatar, where large cat people have in...

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch an entire town kick around a illiterate little person for 75 minutes. We watched Eight Crazy Nights, we tried to keep it festive, but Adam Sandler giving a TBI to the protagonist after the musical number about how great the mall is, was the best we could do. Happy Hanukah! How will Eight Crazy Nights hold up? Directed by Seth Kearsley Starring: Adam Sandler, Ro...

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a millennial Christmas Classic, Jingle All The Way! Bathe in the 1990s nostalgia as we visit trampling people for toys, malls, and toy stores. Also, Phil Hartman's masterclass on seducing a woman away from Arnold.  How will Jingle All The Way hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, Candice, Matthew, and Jeremy   Directed by Brian Levant Starring Arnold Schwarzene...

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn how the world became entranced with Henry Cavill and started to fall out with Zack Snyder. We watched Man of Steel home to the world's most vindictive Pa Kent and the one where Superman kills thousands in his final fight. Happy Thanksgiving from us at Myopia and safe shopping and travels today! How will Man of Steel hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur...

First, take a beloved musical from the 1930s and let it age on a shelf for forty-plus years. Second, strip out all the songs. Third, turn it into a waking nightmare. This week on Myopia Movies, we dove into Return to Oz! Isn’t it delightful when Creepy Kids Month syncs perfectly with a blockbuster release like Wicked: For Good? Though honestly…this movie might be memorable for entirely different r...

"Like no one has ever been, like, aroused by close up magic, right? You're just like, ah, wow. That was my card. My God, where did that ball go? Who knows? Can I just pay for my, like, mozzarella sticks" - Nic This week, Myopia Movies continue Creepy Kid Movie Month with The Ring — the iconic, blue-green, early-2000s mood piece that taught us two essential truths: never trust a VHS tape without a...

This week we learn who is creepier, Macaulay Culkin who murdered one and a half siblings or Elijah Wood who is convinced that his mom is reincarnated into his aunt. We watched The Good Son. Ok, so the corpse highway car accident might be the greatest thing put to film and my favorite sentence I have gotten to write.  How will the Good Son hold up? Directed by Joseph Ruben Starring: Macaulay Culkin...

This week on Myopia Movies, we seamlessly transition from Horror into our next month based around creepy kids. We watched The Omen (1976), the movie that forever made the name Damien creepy.  How will The Omen (1976) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Matthew, Nur Directed by Richard Donner Starring: Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Billie Whitelaw, Harvey Stephens, Patrick Troughton, Martin B...