Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Infidelity

Geography holds memory—and for couples healing from sexual betrayal, certain places can feel like emotional minefields.   Eight years after Discovery Day, we returned to a beach tied to some of the most painful pre-D-Day memories of our marriage.   We didn't go back to pretend the past never happened; we went to reclaim the ground. But stepping onto that sand meant facing the reality of the settin...

Before packing our bags for our wedding anniversary trip to intentionally reclaim and redeem a beach tied to pre-D-Day memories, we sat down for a raw, foundational conversation with returning guest Heather O’Brien.   If you have spent months or years in betrayal recovery, you know how exhausting it is to manage the daily fallout. The anxiety spikes, the sudden triggers, the paralyzing shame, the...

True healing cannot take root in the shadows of half-truths. In this deeply candid episode of Beyond Broken Vows, we open the door to Johnny’s personal Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) 12-step presentation, offering an unsparing look at the destructive path of sexual addiction and the transformative power of rigorous, Christ-centered recovery.   Johnny retraces the roots of his brokenness back to his f...

“Why do I have to share my location, hand over my phone, and check in constantly, while my spouse doesn’t have to do any of that?”   If you have wrestled with the frustration of accountability rules that feel completely one-sided, this conversation is for you.   In this episode, we tackle the reality of double standards after sexual betrayal—why they exist, why they are necessary, and how to navig...

Last week we challenged husbands to stop treating recovery like a program to complete and start living it as a way of life. This week, we’re talking to the wives who picked up the slack.   In this episode, we cover:   Why managing your husband’s recovery is a trauma response—not control for control’s sake What “managing” actually looks like in daily life (you might be doing it without realizing) T...

There is a common misunderstanding that recovery is a mountain to be climbed—a series of steps, chapters, or weeks that, once completed, allow you to finally stand at the summit and call the work “finished.”   But if you have spent your time checking the boxes of a recovery program only to find that the peace you promised your spouse hasn’t yet taken root, you are not alone.   In this episode, we...

In this episode of Beyond Broken Vows, we get real about “rupture and repair”—because let’s face it, every marriage hits those moments where things fall apart.   We’re not talking about the big blow-ups that get all the attention; we’re talking about those quieter breaks in connection that happen after infidelity, when a simple misunderstanding or a triggered memory sends one of you reeling.   We...

All summer long, we’ve sat with courageous friends from the Beyond Broken Vows family.   Aimee, Kevin, Felicia, Jacob & Leah, Suzanne, RD, Heidi, Tricia, and Emily each opened up their lives and shared the raw, unfiltered “messy middle” of betrayal and recovery.   Nine stories. Nine marriages. Nine unique journeys through the wreckage of infidelity.   And yet, as we look back over the season,...

Emily married her “Prince Charming” at 20, expecting a lifetime of safety. Instead, she spent the next two decades in a silent battle with betrayal.   Just three years into their marriage, she discovered evidence of affairs. Rather than seeking help, she fell into the trap of shame, blaming herself and spending 17 years trying to “perfect” her way into a better marriage.   The mask finally slipped...

For twenty-two years, Tricia’s marriage carried a quiet, underlying tension. Five years in, she discovered her husband’s pornography use.   For decades after, she lived in a state of constant, lonely hypervigilance, trying to manage the distance without any outside help.   Then, the ground beneath her completely gave way.   After a coworker pursued her husband, a series of crossed boundaries turne...

The trauma in Heidi’s marriage didn’t start with a slow fade. It started the day after her wedding, when she answered a phone call from a woman her new husband had been sexually involved with.   For the next 17 years, Heidi lived in the fog of a marriage that looked fine on the outside. But inside, she felt married to a stranger.   Then the facade broke again when she discovered extensive pornogra...

On paper, R.D. and his wife had a life built on a foundation of faith and family. But in the quiet moments, the immense weight of family life and financial strain left R.D. looking for an escape.   He found it in pornography and online chat rooms—a secret life that kept him isolated from the people he loved most.   When a digital extortionist threatened to expose his hidden life, the secret didn’t...

Note: Our guest’s name has been changed for privacy.   Before she and her husband got married, he told her about his childhood sexual abuse and same-sex attraction. He said he was in counseling. She thought it was handled.   It wasn’t.   Thirty-eight years, four children, multiple betrayals, a rehab stint, and a relapse later, Suzanne knows the truth: healing is not a one-time decision. It’s a dai...

They met at a homeschool ski lesson when they were eight. Married young. Kids came fast. On paper, it was a dream.   Behind closed doors, it was falling apart.   Poor communication. Resentment. Faith tension. And in secret, Jacob’s pornography addiction escalated into sexual experiences outside his marriage. They were living entirely separate lives.   Then God showed up at a marriage retreat.   Du...

For decades, Felicia believed she was in a close, happy marriage—until a quiet afternoon in October 2022 revealed a hidden reality that shattered her world in an instant.     Felicia walks us through the profound shock of discovering her husband’s secret pornography addiction. She shares the painful aftermath: the feelings of isolation, the well-meaning but misguided advice to “just forgive,” and...

In this episode of our Summer Stories of Hope series, we speak with Kevin about his recovery journey and the restoration of his marriage. For years, Kevin struggled with a cycle of pornography use and secrecy that created significant distance in his relationship with his wife.   Kevin shares his experience of the discovery process, the difficult season that followed, including time spent apart, an...

Welcome to our “Summer Stories of Hope” series.     In this episode, we share Aimee’s story—a journey that forces us to look at how we survive when the ground beneath our feet shifts, not once, but repeatedly.     After thirty years of marriage and surviving the unimaginable agony of losing both her daughters, Aimee’s husband delivered the final blow: a confession of a long-term pornography addict...

We started the Beyond Broken Vows podcast with nothing but a desire to obey God’s call in the middle of our own shattered marriage.   Now, looking back after three years of walking through that fire with Him, we know one thing for certain: He is the ultimate Redeemer.   Our journey has been defined by the hard, holy work of surrender, and we are here to invite you into that same hope.   If you’re...

We often talk about the weight of sexual betrayal, but rarely do we discuss the invisible, spiritual webs that keep us tethered to our past. A soul tie is more than just a memory; it is an emotional and spiritual connection formed when we yield our body and heart to another.   While God established this spiritual framework to be the cornerstone of a healthy, covenant marriage, the Enemy of our sou...

In our series, Beyond the Wall of Isolation, we’ve spent the last several weeks dismantling the myths that keep Christian couples trapped in cycles of secrecy and shame. We’ve talked about the masks we wear, the burdens we carry, and the importance of a united front when it comes to our children.   But we know that for many of you, this series feels like it might be a little late. You’re listening...

In our current series, Behind the Wall of Isolation, we are dismantling the myths that keep Christian couples trapped in cycles of secrecy and shame.   Today we’re tackling something that keeps a lot of parents awake at night…   Should we talk to the kids about the betrayal?   And if so, when?   And how?   When hiding the reality of our marriage from our kids, we aren’t just trying to protect them...

In our ongoing series, Behind the Wall of Isolation, we are stripping away the myths that keep Christian couples stuck in cycles of secrecy and shame.   Building on our conversations about why “keeping it in-house” never protects a marriage, today’s episode walks through eight fears that stop many wives from sharing their story with others.   Join us as we address these obstacles head-on and discu...

Have you encountered one of the most dangerous traps in the entire recovery process?   Today we’re talking to husbands, who have been unfaithful to their wives, about the myth of “Managing the Reputation” which can trap men, and marriages, in isolation.   Husband’s, you may be terrified of what people will think if they see the reality behind the mask you wear. You’re holding onto the “honorable”...

Isolation is the secret weapon of betrayal. When a husband is hiding a life of porn or stepping outside the marriage for sex, he’s essentially building a wall. He’s living a double life, and that wall keeps his wife on the outside holding her breath, while he’s off in his own dark, private world.   It kills intimacy, it kills trust, and honestly, it turns marriage into a performance.   The goal is...

In this episode, we explore the destructive cycle of objectification, which is the act of stripping away a person’s humanity to turn them into a mere object for our own selfish purposes.   Whether performed mentally through imagination, emotionally to soothe personal discomfort, verbally, or physically, this objectification mindset can be a gateway to sin.   When we begin to view others as parts r...