Zen Pop

Is it naïve to be positive, or is it naïve to be negative? This is the question surrounding the short video entitled “This is Water” , an audio from author David Foster Wallace’ s commencement speech.  It’s backed up by meaningful and thought provoking video, reminding us to consider that if we view the world differently, we can change our own reality.  Cathy and Todd discuss the commo...

Sticks & Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me – is it true?  We think yes, and we think no.  Our friend’s daughter came home saddened by a classmate who said something mean – mom replied with, “words schmerds, don’t worry about it.”  And her daughter said, “But those words hurt me.”  We talk about the paradox of the importance and unimportance of words – they are powerful IF...

In a blog by Jill Kirby titled “ If This Is Average, Then I’ll Take It ”  We discuss that in a “bell shaped” curve, most kids are academically average, yet very few parents are willing to accept this. We continue discussing how a kid might be average in the classroom, yet have other special gifts.  Could they be good enough? And is good enough something you can handle? It is our job as parents to...

Jason Collins comes out as the first openly gay current NBA star.  We discuss why this will help our culture to continue to evolve to be one of inclusiveness instead of one of exclusion.  We also talk how this will positively affect all young boys and girls who are gay now might be able to look at this situation and imagine possibilities of their own life that were otherwise more difficult to see....

The Butterfly Effect , you have heard of it right? What you do has ripples and effects others around the world. In the wake of the Boston Bombings, and all of the activities that have taken place since, it appears that there is no better display of the Butterfly Effect to be seen right now. Cathy and Todd talk about how teaching your children about this idea can lead them down the road to success...

Cathy and Todd follow up on last week’s ADHD discussion because they received some not-so-happy feedback from some listeners.  They address the fact that often times when a child is medicated, it can be a very difficult and well thought out decision, it’s not always thought of as a quick fix.  But in too many cases, it’s the first choice, and that’s where a new perspective...

Are there “alternative” ways to deal with ADHD other than popping a pill?  Cathy and Todd discuss the significant number of children that are diagnosed with ADHD (6.4 million children) and why 2/3 of them are given a prescription. Todd recalls a recent experience where he witnessed a 40+ year old bully a 10 year old boy – he wishes he could have the moment back and do it differen...

Cathy and Todd talk about sibling rivalry, how it’s good “life practice”, and the differences between what’s normal and when it’s a good idea to interfere. They also talk about family meetings and how to get everybody on the same page (before the kids tune you out). Todd talks about Lisa Reagan ‘s article titled “Why and How Do We Shift” (in Pathways...

You are not alone if you have shamed your kid this week. Why hide all of the truth? Let’s get it out in the open and talked freely about being shamed, because their is a good chance it happened to you. This week Cathy and Todd continue to talk about Brene Brown’s shame and vulnerability research. They discuss 6 ways to NOT respond when someone shares something deep or shameful, why som...

Are you worrying yourself sick? Is that even possible? Cathy (with the support of Brene Brown ) helps Todd through his continuous struggle over money, worry, & fear.  He’s frustrated with the amount of worry he’s carrying because it brings down his mood. He’s worrying about worrying and feeling bad about feeling bad. In order for us to be good parents, we must figure out a wa...

Has Todd hit his boiling point when it comes to how much screen time his daughters have? The iPad is taking over and he can’t control it! Can Cathy help Todd come to love the iPad for what it can be? Who else spent all their hard earned cash as kids playing video games when they were young? Times have changed. Now there is no reason to go to the Arcade, because you can save that cash playing...

While Todd didn’t see the stress of standardized tests in the latest episode of HBO’s “Girls”, it did stress him out because he is worried about his own children.  Will his own three daughters stay healthy if this is the way things are when they’re in their 20’s. Maybe Todd shouldn’t watch so much HBO. As for the standardized testing issue, every state and...

We discuss two related topics: Know anyone who lives life through their children?  Can you be too close to your children?  Do you know parents that have a case of the “We’s” – Do you find parents who say things like “We are trying to make the soccer team” or “We decided to do ballet this summer.”   This can sometimes be a sign that parents might be a...

Cathy and Todd discuss “disengagement” and how it can erode the trust in a relationship – your partner may not be cheating or abusive, but if they emotionally disengage, it can be very painful.  They also discuss how we disengage from our children and how it makes them feel unsafe.  We often talk about Domestic Violence against women, but what about when a man is abused by a woma...

Have you ever heard of the term “childism”?  Neither had Cathy or Todd, until they heard about a book by Elizabeth Young Bruehl called  “Childism: Confronting Prejudice Against Children”  They discuss the increasing trend of parents using social media to humiliate their children to demonstrate authority.  Todd really struggles with parents who punish and exert unfair tactic...

Cathy and Todd talk REAL love vs SPIDER love (taken from Martha Beck’s book, Steering by Starlight ) – do you love authentically or do you “make” people love you by controlling their behavior OR altering your behavior so you don’t “bother” them? REAL love is about sharing your true self and setting the ones you love free so they can be their true selves.  ...

How exactly are we teaching our sons “to be a man”?  Have you ever used the phrase- “You throw like a girl.” Most have and we explain why it’s the little things that add up to make your son less of a man and create your sons’ overall perception of women.  1 in 5 women in America will report that they were sexually assaulted.  We discuss Colin Stokes Ted Talk reg...

Dr. Kelly from Tree of Life Chiropractic joins Todd and Cathy for a discussion about the flu and the flu shot.  There’s a lot of panic right now, but there are many effective ways to take care of you and your family.  Dr. Kelly shares information and resources that may ease your mind.  And Cathy and Todd discuss the Lance Armstrong interview – are we practicing forgiveness or do we fee...

Cathy and Todd discuss the importance of listening, inside and out. How yoga/quiet time can help our kids, and how listening to what our kids have to say (instead of being punishing and punitive) can help us be better parents.  They specifically discuss a San Diego school that has incorporated yoga into their curriculum – certain parents aren’t happy about it, what do you think?  They...

Why was the Violence Against Women Act , initially passed in 1994, allowed to expire?  Todd and Cathy discuss this, women’s safety, and how India is peacefully protesting violence against women .  They also discuss the key to keeping a relationship alive and healthy, and they reference the movie Hope Springs .

Are you ready to shine this year? Are you ready to help your kids shine this year?  Todd and Cathy discuss three simple ways to make this a possibility.  They also discuss an article in The New York Times by David Brooks about a dad who tells his kids he’s ashamed and disappointed in them so they change – does he think shame and guilt will work and does  he understand his role in their...

Cathy and  Todd discuss this quote they found on Dr. Christiane Northrup’s Facebook page .  Sounds  harsh, but is it true? Does your family tend to tip-toe around one person during the holidays? Does one person’s difficulties become everybody’s difficulties? They discuss setting appropriate boundaries with a bah humbug relative so you can hold on to your Christmas Spirit.  They a...

Cathy and Todd discuss the importance of personal responsibility in the wake of a tragedy. You can do something, you can make a change. Focus on what you are doing, giving, saying on an everyday basis – what kind of ripples are you putting out into the world? Are you focused on love or anger? Giving or taking? Being “right” or making a connection? They also discuss the importance...

How do we teach our sons to respect women?  It starts with women loving themselves.  Todd and Cathy discuss Jada Pinkett Smith’ s Facebook post and how degrading women hurts men just as much.  They also discuss Cathy’s latest blog about self love, how to talk to our kids about death, and how much they love the original Karate Kid.  

Einstein said the most important question we can ask ourselves is whether the universe is kind.  What do you think?  Cathy and Todd discuss universal principles, faith, miracles, and how these belief systems effect our parenting.  They also discuss Debbie Downers , why negative thinking can be harmful, and Marianne Williamson’s new book .