Zen Pop

A listener shares how her husband has her back – he tells the kids that he loves them, but he loves their mom the most. We also discuss how negative behavior from your children is a method of communication – instead of yelling or punishing, consider asking questions and offering some attention. This will offer your child what he needs, and you may feel less frustrated. Do you have a short story of...

They sound the same, but there is a distinct difference between detachment (giving up) and non attachment (opening up). If you learn the difference, forgiveness will become easier and you will inevitably experience more love in your life. Do your kids play “Dumb Ways to Die”? It sounds harsh, but it was actually created to prevent train/pedestrian accidents. Todd talks about the science behind spa...

Cathy and Todd talk relationships and discuss and article (link below) from The Atlantic called “Masters of Love”  In the article, it talks about the most current research about “master” and “disaster” partnerships. The biggest take away? If your partner sees a bird and points to it, look at the bird and acknowledge you’ve seen it. This is a metaphor for aspects of your relationship! A...

Today we talk different parenting styles from a blog by Denise Stirk, Malala’s Nobel Peace Prize speech, and Todd shares more money tips. We also talk about why the best choices are made responsibly (rather than just running away or pretending something isn’t happening), and we answer a question about whether sleep training is practical option for a 3 year old. The link to hear a snapshot of Malal...

Why are girls going through puberty early? Cathy and Todd discuss a recent NPR interview with the authors Julianna Deardorff and Louise Greenspan of The New Puberty . The book looks at the percentage of girls who are going through early puberty and the environmental, biological and socioeconomic factors that influence when puberty begins. They also discuss why sexuality is an ongoing communication...

Do you let others grow and expand or do you keep pulling them back down into the pot? When you try to crawl out and try something new, do family/friends/co-workers pull you down or deter you? When you change or grow it can be quite uncomfortable for the people around you. Just like crabs in a pot, we pull back the ones who are crawling out because change can feel risky and unpredictable. We also d...

Todd & Cathy share a marriage challenge where Cathy was able to speak up (not easy), and Todd was able to really listen (also not easy). In couplehood- Can we allow our partner to share their pain without taking it personally? Are we brave enough to ask for what we really want? Instead of preaching to others, can we begin to offer what we want to receive, love instead of fear, and BE the chang...

We talk with Mary Ellen Young & Sandra McDonnell about their book, Elements for Girls: A Fun and Engaging Self-Discovery Project. This book supports preadolescent and teenage girls on their journey of self awareness, and offers them a sense of acceptance and empowerment as they grow. We shared their book with our Be U girls, and have gotten tremendous feedback. Listen as we discuss the challen...

Todd & Cathy discuss the “two wolves” parable and how we can use this when we are teaching our kids. An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life… “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. “One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resent...

On today’s show we discuss why it’s important to support children’s dreams, and why it’s important to do what you love. We talk about Dave Grohl, Jim Morrison, Billy Corgan, and other famous people who realized their dream regardless of what they were told. Parents can redefine what it means for their children to be successful, and they can focus their energy on acceptance and belonging. This resu...

We interview Matt Theodores who is the director of Maine Boys To Men . Boys To Men supports the happy, healthy, non-violent development of boys and those who help raise them. By working with parents, teachers, coaches, boys and girls, Boys to Men challenges the pervasive messaging that defines masculinity in terms of violence, harassment, apathy and sexual conquest. Their programs support empathy,...

We’ve made it to 200! We celebrate by hearing from our listeners and by listening to some of our “greatest hits”. We also talk about the intention of Zen Parenting and why self awareness leads to more connected families and eventually, a more connected world. Thanks for listening, we appreciate you! We announce the release of Cathy’s new book, Living What You Want Your Kids...

Do you get annoyed by your fear? Are you tired of being afraid? We discuss how to shift the way we look at fear. Pema Chodron said, Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the trut h , so maybe our fear is trying to help us, heal us, push us closer to who reall y are. We never stop being afraid , but we can begin to have a gentler relationship with the discomfort. We discuss how to talk to...

Our guest Alfie Kohn , author of  The Myth of the Spoiled Child, says that the negativity thrown at parents and the supposedly narcissistic kids they are raising is unfounded. Kohn says parents should work to raise kids with high self esteem, and that the fashionable belief that kids must develop grit and self-discipline through failure and suffering is unproven and often counterproductive. A few...

We are always told to avoid “toxic” people, but sometimes it’s difficult to completely cut ties. This is when we learn to set boundaries. Cathy shares a metaphor she found in Glennon Melton’s latest blog – the reason we can see the beauty of a tiger behind bars is that we are safe from being devoured. If we don’t set up our own boundaries (bars), then we risk al...

Are you supporting your partner instead of listening to your own internal knowing? Are you choosing to support rather than voice your opinion? Supporting your partner and kids is important, but if you do it by hurting yourself, it can create resentment and disconnection. Cathy and Todd go deep on this one (think Zen Parenting grad school) and ask listeners to practice extreme self awareness. If yo...

Our friend Shawn Bowen tells her story about her son Matthew who was diagnosed with down syndrome in the hospital 4 days after he was born. Matthew is now 7 and is amazing as he was when he showed up seven years ago.  Shawn talks about her initial reaction to Matthew’s diagnoses, advocating for her son in a school system, Matthew’s health challenges, and how the perception of down synd...

Do your kids love to dance, or play sports, or be artistic at home? Do you keep insisting that they need to take a class?  We all want what is “best” for our kids, and that often means getting them into the “best” class with the “best” teacher at the “best” facility  The intention is based in love, but what if your kid doesn’t want to take a cl...

Time-outs are typically viewed as an effective parenting technique, but the latest brain research suggests that they may be making things worse. Instead of using time-outs as a break, parents have used them as punishment. This isolates the child and eliminates the possibility for connection and compassion at a time when they need it most.  We discuss the blog written by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. T...

Have you heard of He for She ?   This campaign, headed by the UN,  is asking men to stand up and support gender equality – not just for the sake of women, but also for their own freedo m s and for the welfare of our nation. Emma Watson is the Ambassador for He for She, and she gave an amazing speech yesterday in front of the UN .  She was given a well-deserved standing ovation.  Click here t...

In this “special edition” episode of ZPR, we discuss spanking and hitting, especially how it relates to the Adrian Peterson case. Three-fourths of our country still believes in spanking as an appropriate method of discipline, so instead of pointing fingers and demonizing, let’s discuss, understand, and pay attention to why and how this became acceptable. Emotions, outbursts, and...

as they try to change their worlds….are immune to your consultations, they’re quite aware of what they’re going through – David Bowie’s famous line from the song “Changes” sums up our misunderstanding of children today. Todd is sick of hearing people say kids are more spoiled than ever  or kids are narcissistic, it was never like that when I was young&#823...

Our daughter was struggling to get out of bed this morning – struggling to get dressed, struggling to eat breakfast.  The trick to dealing with a scenario like this is to check yourself before responding (even if you have to fake that you are not frustrated). If we meet this situation with a sense of calm and trust natural consequences, we may be able to sidestep some possible landmines. We...

Instead of posting a new podcast, we are reposting one of our favorites, the one where we interview our moms. Unfortunately, Todd’s mom passed away last weekend, and we wanted to share this to honor her. We share some great stories, have some great laughs, and near the end, Sharon (we call her GG) shares how at peace she is with her family. Please listen and enjoy – and even more important, be goo...

We lost our “Zen Bunny” Greeley last week and it was a shock to our family.  How do we deal with the grieving process, and how do we help our children deal with their sadness?  As parents we need to allow our children to grieve, and respect that it’s an individual process. We also discuss how to handle “disrespect” from our children – are they trying to be mean,...