Youth Sports Insider

https://heysammi.com  Is it normal for guest players to play over year-long team members? A mom in Boise wrote to me after her daughter's club brought in three guests for a tournament and played them ahead of committed kids, leaving her daughter crushed. In this episode I separate the normal from the tell: guest players exist for real reasons, thin rosters and injuries. But guests playing ove...

https://heysammi.com What do you do when the coach sells private lessons and the lesson kids get the best opportunities? A dad in Gilbert, Arizona wrote to me with exactly that pattern, and a bad feeling he can't shake. In this episode I name the structure first: a coach who sells lessons to the families he also selects from has a conflict of interest, even if he's the most honest man in the state...

SHOW NOTES: https://heysammi.com/  do kids need private training to keep up in youth sports? a mom in omaha wrote to me after discovering, in the team group chat, that almost every kid on her son's team does private sessions on the side. her family has only ever done team practices, and now she's wondering if she's been naive. in this episode i tell her no: she's been living by the deal the c...

https://heysammi.com/  should you encourage your child's dream of going pro? a dad in new orleans wrote to me because his 8 year old announces the nfl the way other kids announce what day it is, and he can't decide between feeding the dream and managing expectations. in this episode i explain what a dream is at eight: identity, not forecast. he's saying i love football so much it's part of wh...

https://heysammi.com/  can parents ask a coach why their child isn't starting? a mom in richmond wrote to me at the 11pm-email-drafting stage: her daughter went from starting every game to watching from the bench, with zero explanation. in this episode i confirm she has a right to seek clarity, nobody has a right to a starting spot, but a kid deserves to know what's being asked of her. then i...

https://heysammi.com/  should you pull your child from sports when grades drop? a mom in hartford wrote to me stuck between a coach voting keep and a teacher voting pull. in this episode i point out what her two advisors have in common: each is guarding their own garden, and neither sees the whole kid. the parent decides. but not before the step everyone skips, diagnosis. because the ass...

https://heysammi.com/ how do you coach your own child without playing favorites? a dad in st. louis wrote to me terrified of being accused of favoritism, so he's deliberately harder on his daughter than anyone on the roster. in this episode i name what that actually is: favoritism aimed backwards. she's being treated differently because of who her father is, which is the exact thing he was trying...

https://heysammi.com/  when should you tell your child that roster cuts are coming? a dad in pittsburgh wrote to me carrying a secret: the club told parents that three kids will be cut at season's end, and his son doesn't know. in this episode i give him the when, which is now, this week. kids hear everything, and half-knowing is worse than knowing. and if the cut lands months from now and he...

https://heysammi.com/  should i be worried my child isn't improving at their sport? a mom in salt lake city wrote to me about her daughter, the encourager, the good sport, the kid who claps loudest for everyone, who also isn't getting better as a player. in this episode i flip the letter over first: her daughter has already mastered the rarest skill in sports, being glad for other people out...

https://heysammi.com/  what should parents do after their child hits a teammate? a dad in detroit wrote to me after the worst phone call of his season: his son punched a teammate at practice. the coach handled the field part, but home is another question. in this episode i explain why home shouldn't become round two of the same punishment, because consequences that never end stop teaching and...

https://heysammi.com/  what do you do when your child's coaches disagree about where she should play? a mom in louisville wrote to me caught between an aau coach pushing specialization and a school coach pulling the other way. in this episode i offer the reframe that changes everything: she's not stuck between two truths. she's stuck between two interests, and neither coach is neutral. i...

https://heysammi.com/  how should coaches handle a blowout loss? a mom in orlando wrote to me after her kids' team lost by 14 goals, left the field devastated, and watched the coaches pack up the cones like it was tuesday. in this episode i do something she might not expect: i defend those coaches, mostly. kids find out how big a loss is by checking the adults, and calm isn't indifference. so...

https://heysammi.com/  should you tell your child the truth about their athletic ability? a dad in dallas wrote to me because his son talks about playing in college like it's decided, and dad privately doesn't think he's good enough. in this episode i start with the uncomfortable fact: he might be wrong. parents are famously terrible scouts of their own kids, in both directions. but even...

https://heysammi.com/  why does my kid look at me right after scoring? a dad in boston wrote to me because his son scored the winning goal and turned to the bleachers before his own teammates, and he's been replaying that half second all week. in this episode i start with the gentle truth: one look is not a red flag. one look is love. kids have been finding their parents in crowds forever.&nb...

https://heysammi.com/  what do you say when your child notices the coach has a favorite? a mom in atlanta wrote to me because her 9 year old announced it at bedtime: coach has a favorite, and it's not me. in this episode i start with the part that stings. she's probably right. nine year olds are world class at reading rooms, and telling her the coach treats everyone the same isn't comfort, it...

https://heysammi.com/  how far is too far to drive for youth sports? a mom in chicago wrote to me about her family's routine: 90 minutes each way, three times a week, with her husband saying it's too much and her saying it's what their daughter needs. in this episode i do the math out loud, nine hours a week, a part-time job spent watching taillights, and then interrogate the sentence doing a...

https://heysammi.com/  how do you deal with sports parents who brag constantly? a dad in san diego wrote to me because one family's highlight reels and stat updates have become the soundtrack of the season, and his son has started measuring himself with somebody else's ruler. in this episode i save him an awkward parking lot conversation: you don't confront them, because nobody in the history...

https://heysammi.com/  should a family skip a mandatory youth sports tournament for vacation? a dad in kansas city wrote to me after doing exactly that, and now his son's minutes have vanished and nobody will say why. in this episode i answer his question directly: no, you didn't make the wrong call. a family vacation beats a youth tournament, and it's not close. then the harder part, th...

https://heysammi.com/  is my child behind if teammates are already getting recruited? a mom in raleigh wrote to me after her daughter watched a 14 year old teammate commit, and now her daughter is doing math in her head that nobody assigned her. in this episode i explain what early commitments actually are, mostly informal, often reversed, and always marketed, and why the recruiting timeline...

https://heysammi.com/  is it normal to feel out of place among intense sports parents? a mom in austin wrote to me because her family feels like the odd one out on a team where parents film warmups and talk college timelines about fourth graders. in this episode i split her question in two, because is this the wrong team for us and is this the wrong team for her can have completely different...

https://heysammi.com/ what should a parent do when a coach tells their child to lose weight? a mom in phoenix wrote to me because her daughter's coach said she'd perform better if she lost weight. her daughter is twelve, and she doesn't know where to start. in this episode i sort it into three jobs, in order: your daughter first, your house second, and that coach third. because the first thing tha...

https://heysammi.com/  Is it bad for a kid to specialize in one sport? a dad in tampa wrote to me because his son is obsessed with one sport, refuses to try anything else, and every adult at every barbecue keeps warning him about multi-sport athletes. in this episode i separate what the research actually says from what the barbecue says. the real risk has a name, and it's year-round, same-mov...

https://heysammi.com/  what should a parent do after losing their temper at a youth sports game? a dad in cincinnati wrote to me after screaming at a referee while his daughter watched. she hasn't mentioned it, but something between them shifted, and he can feel it. in this episode i explain what she actually saw, which wasn't a bad call. it was the safest adult in her life losing control in...

https://heysammi.com/  how do you help kids stay friends after one makes the team and one gets cut? a mom in seattle wrote to me because the cut list went up with her daughter's name on it and her daughter's best friend's name missing, and the friendship has been cracking ever since. in this episode i explain what's actually happening between the two girls: they're both grieving. one lost the...

https://heysammi.com/  What should parents do when a talented kid is bored and checking out? a mom in minneapolis wrote to me about her daughter, the best player on her team, who's coasting through games while the coach refuses to move her up. in this episode i take the problem seriously, because boredom, not injury or losing, is how talented kids quietly leave sports. i give you the exa...