Your Parenting Long Game

It can be frustrating when our children won't do what they're supposed to do: brush their teeth, finish their homework, or complete a chore that we've been asking them to finish. While it's common for kids with big emotions to resist things that feel boring or uncomfortable, it can be exhausting for parents to find "just the right thing" to motivate them to move forward. The good news is, understa...

You crave a peaceful home, but peace can be hard to come by when raising children with big emotions. Our kids are quick to react disproportionately to situations, and it's easy to get sucked into their drama. How can we make sure that we are in control of our homes rather than everyone's reactions?  In this episode, you'll learn:  The science behind big reactions (and why we have more control that...

Show Notes: We might want to handle the daily stressors of life with calmness and respect, but often it doesn't work that way. (At least not for me!) Listen as I describe a situation I handled pretty poorly as a parent – and the strategies I used to get myself out of a cycle of guilt.  In this episode, you'll learn:  How to feel our feelings without being controlled by Yuck A simple and effective...

https://rachel-bailey.com/332https://rachel-bailey.com/332Show Notes: When we are raising children with big emotions, it can be frustrating watching them struggle when things don't come easily. Even when we encourage them and remind them that they can do hard things, they may continue to complain or resist, leaving us wondering: Should we push them, or should we give in? Fortunately, there is a si...

Show Notes: While some kids with big emotions blame others, others are incredibly hard on themselves. And it can be devastating to hear them beat themselves up when they make a mistake! Often when they do, our instinct is to tell them it will be okay, that it's not a big deal, that everyone makes mistakes. But as you've probably noticed, that doesn't make them stop this behavior in the long run, a...

Most parents who are raising kids with big emotions would say that our kids' reactions – their reactions when they don't get their way, or when they have to do something they don't want to do, etc. – tend to be very big and very difficult to manage. Often, we feel like their reactions control our homes because they impact our daily routines, our other children, and even the decisions we make. But...

Having a joyful and connected holiday season can be challenging when we are raising kids with big emotions. We are so busy and our children are overstimulated, full of sugar and out of their regular routines. If we aren't proactive, we can become overwhelmed, exhausted, and resentful. The good news is, a simple process (that just takes a few minutes) can reduce holiday Yuck and increase our parent...

https://rachel-bailey.com/?p=88635Holidays can be hard for kids with big emotions. From staying up late to being out of regular routines to being overstimulated, this season can leave us all feeling exhausted and stressed. In this bonus episode, I share a plan for holiday stress that doesn't take a lot of time... and almost always leads to success! In this episode, you'll learn: Why taking 5-10 mi...

Show Notes: It can be hard to know what to say to a child with big emotions when they're struggling. And while it's important not to pressure yourself to say the "right thing" all the time, one small change (that you can make immediately) will almost always make things better in those situations.   In this episode, you'll learn: Why one word (that most of us use all the time) almost always upsets...

Many kids with big emotions lack confidence, and that can be heartbreaking to see. While building children's confidence doesn't happen overnight, one simple action can help. Even better, this same action can also strengthen your relationship and takes less than a minute to use!  In this episode, you'll learn: The simple strategy to strengthen your child's confidence and your relationship  How we c...

It's very common as we're raising kids with big emotions to walk on eggshells, fearing the moment we might "set them off." But it is possible to learn to diffuse dramatic situations more easily so that we can handle them instead of dreading them.  In this episode, you'll learn, through the "sink metaphor": Why it's absolutely in our power to make situations better instead of worse  What our kids r...

Many children with big emotions crave consistency, but how can we be consistent when life gets in the way? There are so many things to juggle as a parent -- extracurriculars, homework, schedule changes, work trips, family visits -- and we're tired. The good news is that there's an alternative to consistency that is much easier to achieve as a busy parent (and it has all the same benefits!). In thi...

There is nothing worse than feeling helpless as a parent, and it's easy to feel powerless or out of control when our kids won't listen to what we have to say. Often when we feel powerless, we end up trying to control our children more… which only reduces our influence! Fortunately, there is a simple strategy that can help you improve the impact of your words so your children can actually hear the...

Often when we ask our kids with big emotions to do things they have to do, instead of doing what we ask, they resist, negotiate, or even become disrespectful to us (or themselves!). And when we feel helpless and stuck, we often then fall back on strategies that our parents used with us… which tends to make things worse. So how can we motivate responsible and respectful behavior when our attempts s...

One of the defining qualities of children with "big emotions" is that they have a hard time when things don't go their way. But explaining to them why they need to be more flexible doesn't seem to work, and it only frustrates them and us more! The good news is that we can help our children handle frustration and disappointment when we shift from telling children WHY they need to be more flexible t...

We want our children to feel respected, and we know that it's important to connect with them and validate their feelings. But when they've behaved in an unacceptable way, it's easy to wonder if, when you're connecting with them, you're letting them "get away" with negative behavior.  In this episode, you'll learn: Why our influence does depend on being able to balance both validation and firmness...

Changes and new situations – especially a new school year! – can create a lot of worry for our kids with big emotions. But no matter what the change is, or what their worries are, we can empower children to handle hard things.  In this episode, you'll learn: Simple steps to help kids get ready for a new school year (or any other situation that they're nervous about) How to make it less likely that...

Many children with big emotions can seem spoiled or entitled at times -- like they expect to get everything they want, all of the time. And even though it can be tempting to give in for the sake of family peace, there are better ways to help our children in these situations… so they can learn how to handle not getting their way in the future.  In this episode, you'll learn: Why kids with big emoti...

Despite the fact that they experience emotions very intensely, it's very common for children who feel strongly to NOT want to talk about their emotions. But in order to address negative behavior, moods, and attitudes, we need to have these conversations! The good news is that using specific phrases will allow us to improve our influence with our children so they are open to hearing us, rather than...

We ask our children to do things all the time, and (of course) we assume that they know how to do what we ask. Why wouldn't they? In reality, a lot of negative behavior stems from skills that children are missing – which means they actually don't know how to do what we ask. In order to improve our influence and their resilience, all we need to do is teach them a few strategies for success.  In thi...

It can be exhausting to parent children with big emotions -- especially when it feels like our efforts to improve behavior, moods, and attitudes take longer than we would like. Even if we understand (in our minds) that it takes time for our kids to learn how to deal with their discomfort and develop new skills, that doesn't always make us stop wishing they would feel and act better more quickly! ...

One of the most common reasons for big emotions in our homes is related to asking our children to get off of their devices. And let's be real: They DO have to learn to get off of their devices without acting like it's the end of the world! But most of the time, we attempt to make this happen makes things worse, not better. When we get into our children's world, we can often understand why our atte...

This time of year, navigating the use of screens can be a real challenge -- especially when you're raising children with big emotions. The summer can start off feeling more relaxed, but then come the power struggles over how long children can be on screens and the meltdowns when they have to get off of their devices. Fortunately, a few simple changes can reduce the drama, even during those times w...

Of course we want our children to listen to us when we ask them to do what they're supposed to do or when we ask them to act maturely in situations that don't go their way.  But often when we try to get our kids to listen to us, we do it in ways that actually decrease our influence. This is especially true when we try to get our children to see why we are right and they are wrong.  Of course it's...

As parents, we want to be able to influence our children. And we can feel helpless and out of control when we try to help our kids feel or act better… and we can't make it happen.  One of the most common ways that we "leak" influence happens on a day-to-day basis in the way we ask our kids to do things and in the way we respond to their requests. Once you become aware of this leak, you can make a...