Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Geoff Tate is Late! It's okay. He got here and everything is fine now. Happy HallowJeans, everyone. We hope you're playing it safe and not staying out too late. Also, kids love pennies and bullets so give them away! Tate is LONG overdue in the MOMMY DOME, but thankfully he's here and you're about to get the full scoop on DENIM ON DENIM + HOT DOGS and GATORADE + also CHEERS.  Geoff is a fantastic c...

Oh farts. Do you have a special fart box for your partner to sit in a face your release valve? Get One! These jeans have a question are Smart for shopping somewhere, but then are all sales Final? Lets discuss.  The Mommies are on Tru TV's How To Be A Grown Up and we let you in behind the curtain. Want in? Plus Top Dog talks farts, poops AND Killing in a call for the ages! Learn more about your ad...

Ba Booey Cha Say-O Muh B-hole!! Rejoice, we have THE B-hole of all holes with us, it's Chad Daniels, mommy! The same way a serial killer knows that he will kill after he locks in and stalks his victim, sometimes for months, we knew that it would be a blast hangin' with the Chad Man! We listen to a woman transform into a man or is it the other way? Who cares. Someone else out there is having a lot...

If you gonna hate then suck our stuff! Yeah, dawg.  Tommy looks strong in his gold and purple tank top and Stella Grooves noticed at Crate & Barrell - how will Christina respond?!? Which Braxton are you today? It's fun way to start the day to break down which of the Braxton sisters you're feeling like. Plus we sing the Braxton Values theme song. Do we sing perfectly? Eventually, yes.  Calling all...

Hope there are still no carnists listening to our show, but if there are, stop now. Otherwise picture Tommy's tongue licking the air and put whatever you want there. Also, listen to songs about it.  Did you spend time with your father lately? Did he orgasm in front of you? We sure hope so. Tommy's dad, Top Dog, is back with some great advice on, you guessed it, some BROWN TALK. We have an original...

Get your dad ready to orgasm - it's LIVE from Man Fran Disco (San Francisco)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is for Vegan's only!! Carnists are not allowed to listen. SORRY!  Now that it's only us, picture Tommy kissing your thighs. Feel better? GOOOOOOD. Why do people over 50 refuse to drink water? Water is in us and everywhere around us. Maybe they are just wiser and know that nothing satisfies your bodies cravings for hydration and nutrients like Diet Coke. It tastes good and it's good fo...

POP! Pimp Squad for life, baby! If you can't see, then that should be your story and you should always say that no matter who asks you what. You know what we're sayin, you feel us, know what we're talking about?   Kentucky Jeans and Momlando Jeans were worn this weekend - get the breakdown, Gawd. Plus Tina explains what that drop about God and blessing is all about. Do you watch comedy? Does it ev...

Ohhhh Jeans! We're Back! Tommy pulled up his sick, barking jeans and coughs and blows his nose throughout the show just to remind you that he sacrifices so much for her.  Tina is VERY surprised to hear a series of NEW drops in her honor! Can you guess what they are? They are blessed indeed.  Be sure to relax on this one as the smooth sounds of Crapzo and Manwelle and White Tigress penetrate your s...

Well, we were about to do a new episode but then Tommy went off and got sick like a big, ol dumb bear. Now he's on bed rest and we have to delay our return for another day.  Please enjoy this Classic episode which has the origins of F****n Camp! among other Tourettes Classics! This is high quality denim we have here.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh meowmy, does she miss us? Our vacation is almost over, but we didn't forget about you. Here's one more classic pair of jeans for you and you guessed it, it's amazing.  Once again, this episode features Top Dog and BROWN and it's epic. We hope you took care of your teeth while we were gone. We're going to check each of your toothbrushes to make sure of it, Theo. Learn more about your ad choices....

Oh yeah, Jeans. It's time for more of those Classic Jeans. This is that bespoke denim you can't find in the stores.  This very special episode captures one of the greatest moments in podcasting history - Top Dog and brown come together in REAL TIME.  Buckle Up, you ain't ready.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Reach into the closet, up onto that top shelf. Further, no further. Yeah, those nice worn in jeans are there. Put them on and pull them up. While the moms are on vacation we give you an oldie but goodie. Some of the origins of Mommycode are deep within this episode. Listen and enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shots Fired!!! If you're down in the 954 or the 305 and you see a half naked white dude singing and dancing shakin' that thang - don't worry, that's Rihanna. The elephant in the room must be addressed - Peter Caine has called the MAIN MOMS out! Lord only knows what will happen next, but Peter Caine is on the watch list. Should he worry about Tina and Tommy? No. The little Mommy's? Probably. Theo?...

Please don't talk, please don't touch my service dog! Don't talk to my dog, the dog is being good. You're getting the dog in trouble, you di@k! Maybe Peter Caine is right??? Tom's in Hong Kong aka "City Connection" right now. He had a real nice hair cut before he left and we talk about it. Christina admits to seeing the same hairdresser since 1998, but he's awesome so don't sweat it.  Cops are sti...

When Tom picks the opening clips, it's usually porn. But this porn clip is "revolutionary" according to Tom. We deconstruct Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda". Both versions, fart and original. We also explore "the cowboy hip hop" and real "hip hop" dancing. The cargo pant debate rages on! We look forward to Tom's upcoming Asian dumps. Theo hears his latest song and comes on the show to discuss his royalty...

Whenever you see a microphone anywhere that is an opportunity. The possibility now exists that you can grab that mic and you can fart in it. This is how we even the playing field in life. A homeless man and a Greek billionaire suddenly become the same living being - a mic farter.  King A** Ripper is an international treasure for a reason. He seizes the opportunities that others ignore. He never, E...

Don't yank your snot in another seaman's towel! It's rude and disgusting and now we got two guys on Night Watch to make sure no one else does it, Master Seargent. Little Doggy Jeans AKA Feefo AKA Theo Huxtable AKA The Hardest playa on the block ate tin foil. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that he is not a "Very smart person." He is, in fact, a dog. In this, The "Forgotten "Episode" we recap...

If you do the ALS Ice Bucket challenge make sure you suffer thru it, so says the unofficial spokesman of the ALS Foundation.  We wear our jeans the highest and we hope you appreciate that. Did you remember that cops are bald and s**t? They're bald, man. They're f****n bald. Do we have a song about that? Yup.  Plus Tommy ate a Joey Diaz edible again and, you guessed it, panic, fear and unplanned de...

How's your hook set? BOOM! Make it pop.  Do you know how to pitch a show in Hollywood? We have the insight for you so that you can have a fun, depressing time like we do. There's a big, significant difference between a hard, bloated belly and a soft, hanging gut. We BREAK IT DOWN! You, the little mommy weighs in on the Cargo shorts/D**k Detective debate and we gotta tell you, the Mommy's are split...

When you can't write a song, just sing what you're actually seeing or holding the moment that you open your mouth. That way you can belt out a total piece of trash, just like you were meant to. Turn up the volume! Listen to us talk about stuff and play audio clips! See? Plus Tommy met Mike Tyson. What? Yup. And it's a pretty crazy story. Turns out the former champ is a big fan of streaming content...

It's for the kids, man. The treats are for the kids and YMH is for the kids. If your kids don't already listen to this show, please change that.  We can't stand watching Americans look for real estate abroad. It's like listening to a child question how the science works - a lot of questions and sometimes the SAME ones. Over and over and over.  We have a DENTAL UPDATE from the NEWS - Oh my. Floss y...

Sharkeisha, What??? We got a new jam for you.   Super talented comic/model Nick Youssef has an album out and now we can all rejoice! We've been long time fans of young Youssef and now you will be too. Make sure to get his debut, Stop Not Owning This.  Peter Caine is back at it - this time it's about your dog's leash and issues! Plus we introduce Nick to the idea of the C*mdog that will one day liv...

These are the jeans you dream about. The ones we have on are made for sitting, talking, relaxing and of course, celebrating Eat A Booty Day. Thanks to Trick Daddy we can all celebrate together. Please reach out to him on twitter @305Mayor and ask him to sell us the Eat A Booty Shirts.  Speaking of clothes, has Tommy joined a gang? His new shorts and shirts will have saying, "Sup Homie! Sun Valley...

You, the little Mommy, asked. We, The MAIN MOMMY'S, answered and Ms Pat is here! Ms Pat is one of a kind and we LOVE her. While she's lived the kind of life that would make a lot of us bitter, Ms Pat is the opposite. She engaging, full of life and absolutely hilarious.  We get the inside scoop on what has made Ms Pat so funny and such a saavy hustler. Just listen and you'll be saying "I'm a ol' dr...