Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

We know the show is popular but even Rachel Maddow listens! Wow, and of course, Hey Hitler back at ya! It's been a while so we gave Top Dog a call and this one not only did not disappoint - it was epic. Like Wipe Down Epic.  This ep is loaded: Crazie Locs listens to a fan song, a NEW abusive pimp, La Croix responds, NEW vocal fry, and a bunch of Would You Rather's.  This ep is the Jeans' Jeans.  L...

Hello, F**K Boys! We are ready for you to do battle. On guard! T Bunz went on local TV in Cleveland and called out Crazie Locs. We thought that would have been the biggest news of this episode, but it isn't because - BRACE YOURSELF - CRAZIE LOCS finally speaks directly to us.  Did that last sentence process? If it didn't read it again.  Also, you know what I'm saying, you feel me, understand? And...

We'd like to dedicate this episode to all those days when you're feeling a little down, a little alone, a little like a d-bag that would dedicate an episode to someone.  We got that Crazie Locs jam you know you want cause this time someone ELSE made it better.  La Croix is French. Unless you are Tina jeans then you're all, "it's LA CROY."  Plus we listen to what Tommy thought was Hungarian and end...

There's something about those jeans of yours. They're so...high and so...tight. They're PERFECT. We bring the ultimate dad laugh to the table on this one. It rivals Top Dogs famous dad laugh, no seriously, it does.  Plus we have Locs doin his thang and stuff like that and Tommy doin his thang back and stuff like that. Shout out to everyone all over the world.  Do you know Bryan Silva? You will now...

Jeans up over your head! This one will have you screaming MOMMY! WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME?!?! Tommy put it out there in a MAJOR challenge to Crazie Locs last week. This week we await Locs' response while diving into some of his other uh, interests. Brace yourself - it's terrifying.  Also, do you eat the booty? Where do you eat it? How often? Plus we think we have an alternate choice to Donald Tru...

Bruh! That was a deep fart. Cool that you got your little bro in on it.  We got videos! If you're listening that's only half the battle. How often and how well do we make fun of those who are "LESS THAN"? Hopefully a lot. And this episode has no shortage. We have a CRAZIE LOC who Tommy challenges to a fight! Will he accept? Plus we have that intel you've been looking for on KIM AHN. It's so full o...

Sup, Whitefolks! It's diss pimpin', feel me? Tommy's Uncle breaks down the pimpin game for us with all kinds of NOT caucasian flavor! PLUS - a poop soup success story! Should dudes wipe after Yellow?!?! We have a wipegate breakthrough. Where will you stand after this episode! Plus we are back with some AMAZE Kim Ahn audio and it's very NSFW - Glorious. If THAT doesn't turn you on, we also have a m...

You know what I'm sayin? Ya feel me? Gnaw Mean?  Are these different expressions or the same thing? We DEBATE and there might be a new KING, Do you know what we're saying? Plus Hitler might be real. As in, the real Fuhrer. Plus Dani goes blue, er, brown on this one and we have a new awesome song to accompany her.  This is mighty fine cut of denim. Put it on.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visi...

Don't get it twisted, we might look, you know, DIFFERENT, but we are still hood as S**T and we will F**K yo ass up! Nah, we be playin, jeans. But some people are NOT playing and thankfully they record their messages for us.  Plus the mystery has been SOLVED. There's no more guessing when it comes to Hey, Hitler or Happy Birthday to, er, Nicholas. We have the indisputable results. They are disturbi...

Watch your mouth sweetheart! Unless you're 12 years old. Then go ahead and drop a C-Bomb! The only thing better than an old person cursing is an unassuming child.  Is Hey, Hitler picking up steam or slowing down? Unfortunately for the weak-hearted, it's becoming a movement! Plus the OG of HH has a birthday song she wants to share. Who does she sing it too? Let's have Christina break that one down!...

And a good day to you, Hitler! Cheerio, Mate! Aw the Hi Hitler saga continues. Where will it go? Does it make sense? We have the answers.  Mommy loves you and hopes that you love mommy too. Nothing like a funny clip with a sad backstory to get the show a rockin! Plus we asked you if Hitler porn existed and you answered! The Fuhrer wouldn't be so happy if he saw what happened to his picture tho.  W...

Don't go for the hole! Just find the CLICK! Confused? Well, we have the full audio that makes it simple and easy. Remember, it's all about the click.  Tommy had some surprising browns this episode. Really, they happened DURING the episode. What was the cause? Did Christina brown too?!? Plus Ann Wolfe drops some serious fight knowledge in the Ann Wolfe way AND Will Steven Seagal be challenged as th...

Hey Hitler! Hope all is well. Let us know what's up. There's a new hilarious lady whose apartment has caught on fire. Sorry about the fire, lady. But super thankful a camera crew found you to talk about it.  The mommies talk about crazy plastic surgeons, crazy Sean Penn, crazy edibles and whole lot more.  Plus, Master Of Accents, Tom "The King of All Accents" Segura will blow your mind with his ab...

Jeans, We are wanting to hear your best MOM calls. Let it rip, Mommy! Plus, was that fart or the national anthem?  Nothing is worse that a goofy porn actor. Where's the best fast food? Would you eat there for a month. Did you know that Tommy can do ANY foreign accent?  It's all here.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Main Mommy is back! Tina doesn't let a little thing like delivering a baby hold her back. She's in the Dome and talking about what's important: Farts, Big Words, Graphic Sex and Steven Seagal. Sometimes all together.  This episode has everything including intel about a certain Super Bowl winning coach. You won't believe what we saw him do.  Jeans up forever! Learn more about your ad choices. V...

This is our final gift to you in the year 2015, a visit from beloved guest, world prostitute chaser and medical lab rat, YOSHI! As always, no written word can prepare or describe what Yoshi bring to the table. Put in your ear buds, crank the volume and enjoy this one.  Thanks for a great 2015, MOMMIES! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merry Jeansmas! Hope you all are snuggling and kissing and drinking cocoa by the fire. We have a baby jeans and will be doing all that, gurl.  This episode has magic: enemas, OMG Maria, Top Dog, Kim Ahn breaking it down HARD CORE, Would You Rather's and a whole lot more.  Please be safe and allow denim into your heart.  Please support our sponsors - MeUndies.com/mom and BlueApron.com/mom Learn mor...

Is Baby Jeans here?! You'll just have to listen to find out! What happens when you get AIDS from someone and you see them on public transit? You gotta call them out, yo!  RIP Greg Giraldo Plus the KING has been in hiding for a while and now we have confirmation that he's BACK!  And Tommy insists that his DJing will pay off in the future, I mean, listen to what Paris Hilton is doing. You get to dec...

What a Jeanstastic episode! The FedEx controversy RAGES on! Tommy has some damning evidence that may turn Christina's pronunciation on it's head. Um, do we have an exclusive interview with Throatzilla aka Orally Gifted? Yes, yes jeans we do! Also important Steven Segal update. Fill her up and seal her shut! What a BIG DAY! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bond, Jeans Bond is the name or perhaps you're more familiar with Double 0 Denim as I'm known inside these walls. The mommies have a spectacular bonus clip of the new Bond movie and you are sure to love it.  Plus is a white boy claiming to be a crip the real deal or is he frontin in a red hat? We have the Farsi voicemails translated, the lamest dude ever in porn and a call from Tommy's Uncle Bill...

Happy HatesGiving, MOMMY! As is tradition on this show we'll do our best to offend you for the holiday!  Do you have an incurable neurological disorder? Is English not your first language? Do you not look like us? Do you live somewhere that isn't Los Angeles? Hopefully we hit you below the belt! The Persian Lady who has left Tina countless messages about the desert and sharia laws has, you guessed...

Yo Chuck! Yo, You got AIDS, YO! Aw, Damn, kid. Hope you got your Jimmy Hat. Tommy's done with the road for 2016, but he brought Guess My Brown home from the Big City! Will Tina guess correctly? Bunz has an idea for a new business to help support our growing family. If you need a nail trimming, please don't cut them! We're coming over.  Plus fashion has never been Tommy's strong suit and he's appar...

Christina guesses Tom's brown! And a surprise game! Dunkin' Doughnuts vs Krispy Kreme. What side are the mommies on? Rachel Dolezal and Tamar Braxton. Tina has new voicemails and texts on her phone. The joys of a new phone number. If you borrow $20 from Linda, you'd better pay her back ASAP! Is Shaq hanging with Chuck Woolery? The most annoying girl in social media and more! Enjoy mommies.  Learn...

Are you mad at your Mommy? Well, let her know! DJ Dad Mouth is working on his mad beatz and skillz. Is there really a lady out there wanting to lick Tom's b-hole? Turns out yes, yes there is. Christina is being challenged on her inventing the term "POS". Can she explain her way out of this one? Also, Mommy C raises a question that brings her to tears. Would You Rathers! Tom gives his insight into...

If you’re feeling hungry we have just the thing for you - a very special PICNIC. Make sure you bring your appetite because this is the kind of picnic that lets you keep on eating!  Did Christina come up with an expression that is very popular in our vernacular or has it been around for more than a decade? It’s time to break it down. Plus Tommy has seen Christina flirt for long enough with the mail...