Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Jeans! We hope 2014 is treating you well. I mean, if it isn't, that's terrible because it literally just started. This episode/momisode we are giving you what would normally be a bonus! It's LIVE from San Diego. Hope you enjoy it! Sharkeisha, NO! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well it's Tommy's Smurfday! What did you get him? Sometimes you eat some stuff and then a lot of brown comes out. That happened to us this week. Also, we recap spending time with OMG Maria and even THAT feels like a work out. Our local Starbucks knows her by name and memorized her order: No DC's there! Tommy has a major dental update - will you press play to experience it?!? Who on God's earth lik...

The Mommy's welcome Matt "The Full Charge" Fulchiron AKA The Concierge back to the Mommy Dome. They discuss Matt's upcoming move to Puerto Rico (New York City), Christina's love of Puerto Rican men and her equal disdain for buying anything nice. They share filthy sexy stories, a twist on Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut, mind-blowing new Top Dog audio and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit meg...

This show was like WHOA! The first ever LIVE Momcast could not have been more fun. 3 Amazing guests and a lot of laughs. Tommy and Tina cover it all with brown talk, orgasms, Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut, Would You Rather, Arab or Jew, another football coach monologue, Dick Detectives, and hilarious stories from Ari Shaffir, Matt Braunger, and Bert Kreischer. More live shows to come! Learn more about...

Oh Canada! Some people are just meant for the Mommy Dome and today's guest, Ian Bagg is just one of those people. This fun-filled episode covers a breakthru with Brace from Gigolos, Canadian love, Brown Talk, NEW tourettes talk, full retard, Fill Her Up and more! Truly one of the most fun episodes the mommies can ever remember doing. Strap one on and get ready for Juice! Juice! Learn more about yo...

You think that just because you've had ribs and listened to salsa music with someone that you know them - but that isn't always the case. Charles Ramsey tells it like it is and that's why we can't get enough of him on YMH. While some are quick to point out he isn't the most media saavy man on the planet, we're here to tell you that is precisely why he is so awesome. He is SO awesome that we hope h...

The Mommy's talk hip-hop, Yo! MTV Raps and the joys of rebellious, aggressive music. They discuss what women find beautiful in other women and how men differ (ie. Salma vs Penelope). Both Tom and Christina share recent stories of accidentally peeing on themselves, as well as their joint (rare) venture out to Korea town where eating, drinking, and singing took place. The origins of Where The Dudes...

Seriously? Seriously! It's the return of Maria "Seeeriousllahhh Guys, I Don't Talk Like That! AAHHHHH!!" and we couldn't be happier. We salute our veterans, share details about how Tina and Tommy met and fell in love (Really!) and then we give you Maria - RAW and UNCUT! You don't know FIRED UP until you hear Maria in her own element! SERIOUSLLAHHHH, Guys! Plus much more in this episode. No Loose J...

Drugs are powerful. People say what they wanna say. It's f***ed! We'll show you. If you like p***y does that make you a p***y magnet? Get ready for some great awful music. The White Girl Mob needs to look into comedy cause these videos are HILARIOUS for all the wrong reasons. Anthens rack em is dead! RIP. Also, Stevie is probably not going to be at our Nashville show. We'll tell you why (though yo...

DISCHARGE! Brandt Tobler is back and, as always, filling your ears with tales of crime and debauchery - we love it! PNC Tuesday is goin down. THAT, combined with "There's No Such Thing As Wednesday" is really making us reconsider our favorite day of the week. How do you make someone pay? Tobler shares a secret that will bring you to tears and make you PAY UP. Dental Update? Yup. Rim Jobs? Of cours...

OH MAH GAWD SERIOUSLLAAHHHH, Maria is here, you guys! This is a dream come true in the Mommy Dome. Tommy's older sister and Starbucks' Enemy Number One, Maria stops by for a chat and she jumps in like a pro. She shares more contempt for more employees of new company's while also getting down with some of the tried and true segments of YMH. Get to know the Maria you thought you knew (she knows Tom'...

Remember when you were 10 and you prank called everyone in the phone book? Those were the best of times, but then you matured and realized, hey, that's not a nice thing and also they can now see my number. Well, we haven't grown up so get ready for childish calls about buttholes and black voices! Also, CALLING ALL MUSICAL JEANS! We need your support - send in your tunes and get them played on Your...

Oh my my, what a treat do we have for you. Fantastic, funny, a true delight - Mrs. Catherine Reitman joins us in the Mommy Dome. An old comrade of Tom's, Catherine fits right in like she's been in 1000 times. We get into Downton Abbey and oh heavens my is it simply delightful to converse with someone who appreciates all of Mr. Fellowes work. We discuss mommyhood (real), conflict, childhood, passiv...

The duo is back in the mommydome! Gastrointestinal issues are the launching point for this episode and this time it's serious (brown talk). They discuss last week's live show and all that came with it. Tom and Christina highly recommend taking a train to wherever you may be headed. They share their observations about the Gaslamp district in San Diego and how finding a TGI Friday's can sometimes be...

Everyone is welcome in Your Mom's House. It don't matter if you're black, brown, purple or Asian - oh or gay. We accept you all. In this episode we discuss the recent announcement of Jason Collins - the NBA player who just announced that he is gay. We also discuss the reactions to his announcement and their role in free speech, tolerance, and righteousness. Sound un-mommy like to you? Well, we are...

The mommies can't add. We know words and we know sounds and we know that catsfish and bass loves frogs cause we're smart. We knows what's to use! But math - no thank you! Tommy is smarter than Tina, but Tina has a big heart. Tommy also has a special gift - he knows from simply glancing at a woman if she is DTF. He knows who is a waste of time and who has jeans that are easy to take off. We go back...

KABOOM! Guess who stepped in the room? TICAL! or YOSHI! Back with more of that ISH you just can't get enough. Our conversation with Yoshi was so loaded we HAD to split it up into TWO episodes. Here is more of what you came for, part 2 of Yoshi's return with a real "talking to" about prostitution. Get your jeans ready for a brand new belt! SUSHI! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm...

YES! Good things come to those who wait and we can't think of anything better than having STEVEN BRODY STEVENS in the Mommy Dome. They just don't make jeans high enough to express our excitement. Brody is his usual POSITIVE self and opens up in a way that will only make you love him more. We talk the Valley, audience warm-up 101, positive energy/positive language, some sports, Daisy the dog, menta...

Some have had the never to criticise this show for being less than sophisticated. To those that have unflattering remarks about us we present to you Episode 141. The Mona Lisa, the Sistine Chapel, and now this very episode of Your Mom's House with all mentioned in the same breath. We examine the meaning of life, the purpose for which one exists and we might just have an answer to the question, "Is...

Get your hands off my penis! All of you! Can you be arrested for simply enjoying a meal? We think, yes. Jeans has t*ts for days and well, buns has d**k for days, ya dig? If you are black and don't have d**k for days would you be a doll and let us know about it? We examine the porn girls voice - could you possible remove that with your implants, please! Tommy trains Tina in identifying who is a suc...

Tommy was recently on a flight with GREG JENNINGS. Yes, that one. The former Packer and current Viking who knows how to catch and run with the ball, but most importantly always PUTS THE TEAM ON HIS BACK, DOE! We want a wine vacation. Who's with us? Tina covers her Top 10 Goth Jams - get ready to cry! Another NEW song drops from DYA-BEAT-USS and it's the bizness, kid. A very spicy Fill Her Up and m...

Awwww yeah, just a couple of mommies sittin around with their jeans up. We get right to it quick on this one. Breaking down the White Tigress takes time and we didn't get to do that last time, so we really give her her due on this one - she really wants her reward! Tom and Sushi seem to be a recipe for Shirleying himself that the Asians see coming and we appreciate that. We discuss the hilarious c...

Who's house? Your Mom's House. That's right. A WYR is read on another podcast but they don't want to credit their mothers? That's okay. You know who designed that Xmas WYR - your jeans. Shout out to David Choe and Asa Akira. We drop some NEW WYR's in your ears and read some of your emails. Dental Update for Tommy, A NEW case of foreign accent syndrome and Theo SPEAKS! Maybe dogs DO have brains. Th...

Do you donate to THE St. Jude's? That's nice. So does the Klan and there ain't nuttin wrong with what they stand for. If you have a young, impressionable child a good thing to do is teach them that hateful, racist terrorist organizations are just fine - at least on Halloween. A REAL TALK update will have you pinchin pennies and throwing up in your mouth! There are limits to how cheap is acceptable...

There are good shows as a comedian and there are great shows. Sometimes there are bad shows and then there's this. In Tommy's near 12 year career as a stand up he has had the full spectrum of shows, but nothing quite compares to the Massacre in Manitoba. In this episode we fully examine everything that went into a show going so far off the rails that Tommy had to leave before it was over. We play...