Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Be careful if you like to drink Starbucks like the mommies do. There's a secret that we've all just learned of and that is that Starbucks coffees and lattes CAN get you pregnant! It's true. Pastor Manning has informed us to just be careful because there are gay men masturbating into your drinks at Starbucks and that's why it's delicious but also dangerous.  Who knew that Shane Lee could be such a...

It's Shane Lee's world and we're all just hanging out around him.  If angels do exist there's no question that Mr. Lee is one of them. With a voice so pitch perfect you'll find yourself questioning what is art, what is soul, what is beauty? The answer: it's Shane Lee.  In this episode we dive deep in to Lee's world and range of other-worldly talent. We also reveal some very sad, yet unavoidable ne...

Need a recommendation on where to eat, what to see? It's a good thing The Concierge is in the building. Never any half-stepping when the Full Charge is here.  This is one of the most action packed episodes in history. We actually feel a little guilty - about how funny and amazing this episode is. If you don't enjoy this then you have a serious head injury that is accompanied by very loose and low...

It's time to try on an old pair.  Classic Jeans 45 covers some of your favorite moments. Like the morning show where they ask Tommy if he's "their mommy" and Tina's vomit phobia.  Jeans up forever.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, it's now undeniable. Wipegate is taking the world by storm and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it.  Shower straight from a brown?! Are you mad? Or maybe you're just TEAMTINA. Wipe like a person first? Are you human? Maybe you're TEAMTOMMY. The listeners, other comics, hell, even Web doctors weigh in on this one. Plus a song that will blow you away dedicated to your mothers! We talk Tom...

So many treats in this one.  Man Frandisco is no joke. We gots stuff on fleek, dirty shares, porn stories, racist neighbors and brows that will be there a LONG TIME (not so much on Fleek, boo).    Get at me.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're sitting in a meeting it's nice when someone brings you a coffee or farts loudly in to a microphone. It's funny. It just is.  What's not funny? Stepping in dog doo-doo at 4:30 in the AM, tracking it into bed and then realizing your sleeping in poo. It's awful.  We got that new fire for you (hip kid slang) and we break down the "secret enemy." Is there one in your life? Grandma has pipes...

You should make stuff and then, cause you're good at stuff, you can sell that stuff or plant a vegetable tree.  Also, food is good.  Jeans, you need to read. It's helpful for your mind to grow and also to expand your vocabulary so that you don't sound like such a dumbs**t.  We have reviews for the REAL MAN from the Mommies and these joints are on FLEEK! Plus Tina peed a frightening color. Was it m...

Powerful. Today we wear our strength jeans as the leader in podcasting/comedy/fitness and fighting, our Godfather, Joe Rogan finally joins the Moms. We hit it all: The philosophy behind giving, farting, teeth, Tom or Black and what it takes to become A REAL MAN. Joe weighs in on it all, from Biggie vs Beatles to the OG Would You Rather. This is an episode you're going to love and wear around as yo...

Sweet, loving, kissy-faced jeans. That's what those Valentimes are all about. We brought our love to the Ice House for a live episode with a fiery, sexy crowd. This was honestly one of the best times we've ever had live. It's like all our collective jeans are getting tighter.  We give you the goods here, Chocolate anuses, brows on fleek, all kinds of words that the kids are saying now. Plus we hav...

Hey there dirty jeans! Wipe your face cause it's covered in vaginal juices and secretions.  If you have OCD we hope you get better, but in the mean time we'll laugh at you.  Tina has brows on Fleek! Peep them all at Damone Roberts. Plus Tommy is breaking down. Can you make that dude rest? You thought XXplosive was a crazy track? Check out this Too Short classic. We got Brown Talk, Vocal Fry, White...

You figure it out.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Big. Dumb. Animal. Those words don't just describe our guest Matt Braunger perfectly. They're also the name of his new 1 hour special (but without the periods).  Always welcome inside the Mommy Dome, Braunger is like a son to us. We not only talk about his big special we cover the hidden C**T in Harry Potter (Tommy found it), and what in the world Plies was talking about, Ya feel me? This episode...

Mind if we burp? After Chipotle? And suckin stuff? Well we've got that and more for you. Here's something we'd like to know - what exactly is Plies saying? We try to solve the mysteries of this modern day philosopher.  Plus does a communist from a small island have the tools to identify a sex toy? We have differing opinions on this one. Will you side with the right Mommy!? Maybe if you're having t...

J-J-J-J-Jeans Unit! This is a very special episode. In addition to being packed with content and the introduction of a new, amazing caller, we here at Your Mom's House are very proud to announce that the Main Mommy, Christina Pazsitzky (PaJeanSky) has released a NEW album! Man of the Year is Christina's second album and is now available everywhere. Be sure to get a copy so that her jeans reach hig...

Oh jeans it's here! Your first NEW momisode of the NEW year. This one really delivers. Maybe it's us, maybe it's these jeans. We give you modern day philosopher, Plies. Tina has trouble deciphering his sounds, but once she gets it, she GETS it.  Plus we try to figure out what's up with Austin Uber drivers and all the different browns we had there.  Is there anything Steven Seagal doesn't know? Wel...

What is love? When you've been someone long enough that you can say, "That's stupid of you," and then they respond, "Then I'm stupid. Let me be stupid!" That's true love. It's real contempt under a thin layer of decency that says, "I know I have to live with you."  When people have been together more than 50 years it can be quite colorfully spoken.  A fun game you can play with your significant ot...

It's that time of year again - Baby Jesus has been born and there are great songs and hopefully wonderful gifts unless you're poor (yuck).  We, as always, give back to the little Mommies. And this time we really deliver. Unwrap the paper and take in some Shane Lee. That's right the internet sensation who "teaches" vocal lessons is now in the DOME! He does impressions, requests and, well, whatever...

A man's desire to call out to a woman is so strong that it can overwhelm his own mental illness. Literally, the pieces that are missing in his brain will come together for a moment if that moment means sexual release.  Farts. This episode has them. From both mommies. Will you eat what we fart on? Plus Garth meets Meeeh, meets more melodies. It's creepy, weird and wonderful all at the same time. Gu...

Yooooo! If you spend time overseas be careful! You could get AIDS. From a towel. Especially if a lot of dudes drop their stuff in that towel, ya feel me? Pat Robertson is a national treasure. While some look to him for spiritual leadership, we find him to have his finger on the pulse of what's funny and this guy is hilarious.  Plus we have some new songs and we have to admit, they are DADGUM GOOD!...

Are ya'll ready for some slick stuff? Cool stuff? NEAT stuff? What about RAW stuff? Well, you're gonna get it cause we're breaking down these walls between us and we like that! Are you done wiping the vomit from the rim of your mouth? Good. Now get ready to puke again when Garth Brooks speaks and is genuine about "having a conversation" with you.  We get "Country" on this one, but it isn't all bad...

Is your baby's mama here? You bet. Would you like to meet him? You should. You know, for the children. If you're trying to take it all the way down your throat we have expert advice that's gonna set you straight (don't take it so far). Plus a UK coach can drop that fire the same way Coach Ice does - only it sounds sweeter.  Some news reports are silly and some make you ask What The F*** Are We Doi...

Duncan Trussell is here! You may know Duncan "Truffles" as the guy who has sex with pigs for laughs, but he's more than that! D-Truss is our friend, a fellow podcaster and comedian, this sweet and enlightened man is here shining his radiance on us in a way only he can do.  We examine #TEAMLITTLED**K and what it means to breathe thru the bump in your baby head with the Smith siblings.  Plus Duncan...

Jeans Unit Mount Up! This is it. The mountain top of YMH. We give you some Portland show and Chicargo show (Seattle was AWESOME BTW, just not as good audio quality). We get into prison talk, break down some drunk talk, sing POP, Braxton songs, Dental Updates, Would You Rather's, Fill Her Ups and soooo much more!  This is the SUPER SHOW episode of Super Shows. Plus a special guest that's gonna knoc...

It's On, JEANS! Once a week shows are back and here's the first one.  We help Christina's old college BF find a lady as he is now Sinnnnnnnglllllleeee again. Would you like to date him? It's an option.  Tommy is busy writing songs that are so good, he doesn't even name them. He just gives them to the Universe. Will he collaborate with the Braxton's? We're WORKING ON IT! Go On, Gurl is a pretty goo...