Xena Warrior Business

Psst. We heard that Jonathan had an 8 pack... that Jonathan was shredded. Oh, don't you remember Jonathan, the biblical hero of the, um, uh... children of Abraham? No? Well, you probably think giants don't exist either! That they're just taller-than-average dudes in some nice armor. Bet you didn't know about ARISTOTLE'S DEATH RAY either! Ally and Chris are joined once again by Kel McDonald ( @kelh...

Join us, folks, as Xena Warrior Business crosses over the line into the dark web! From Capoeira ruffians to Ally schooling two grown men on Renaissance Faire style clothing, if you love women chanting in the fields, this is the episode for you! Special guest David Isaac ( @DCDariusknight ) joins us as Xena gives up being a warrior for the sake of a dead brother, and offers up a brand new way to pr...

Vacation's over, pals, and we're back with everything you've been waiting for: MORE CENTAURS!! And yet another barely-adequate child actor who's appeared on The Tribe. Stephen Gaulin ( @StephenGaulin ) returns to help us as we kick back, relax, brush up on our horse anatomy, and prepare to get stoned. IXION stoned, that is! If you think giving birth to a baby ends once the baby is out, THINK AGAIN...

Well, the holiday season is upon is, so Chris and Ally have decided to watch and discuss the only Christmas-y episode there is of Hercules the Legendary Journeys. The episode is called 'A Star to Guide Them,' and honestly? It sucks. But Chris explains some more to Ally about the story of Christmas ("Listen... there's a lot of baby roundups going on."), geography is considered, styrofoam props are...

Well, we finally made it. It's the end of season 1, where Chris and Ally learn that you're never REALLY friends until you've both died in each other's arms. This episode has some wonderful highs, tempered by some pretty heinous lows. There's also a human woman giving birth to a centaur child, aka GIVING BIRTH TO A HORSE. There's also a post mortem on season 1, where we ask the big question: IS SEA...

This episode swaps Xena's dark past with a merely plaintive one as we get a fairly underwhelming origin story and a fairly underwhelming SECOND brother for Xena to play off of for a single episode. Chris and Ally are joined by Kelsey Buckmaster, who has never caught an arrow mid-flight but HAS shot one in half. She also shares some pretty fascinating and wholly unexpected (seriously, you'll never...

WELP. It's official. This show is officially good. Three killer episodes IN! A! ROW! Finally, we get a watershed moment for Xena coming to terms with her guilt over her [kiwi accent] dark past [/kiwi accent]. Finally, we get... CALLISTO. Chris and Ally (Yes, you read that right - Chris is back!) are joined by special guest Alastair Stephens ( @paperbullets ) to discuss ladders and why we need them...

So I heard you liked Xena podcasts, so we took your Xena podcast and we put a Xena podcast on your Xena podcast. That's right, Allison is joined by Katie, Livy and Vera from XENA WARRIOR PODCAST !!! Two podcasts, both alike in dignity, in fair New Greeceland where we lay our scene. Both Xena Warrior Business and Xena Warrior Podcast started at around the same time, and we felt it was appropriate f...

In a special Marvel edition of the podcast, Ally is joined by Laura Kammerman ( laurizzlek ) and Andrea Towers ( _atowers) , her friends from work! The women of marvel (not sponsored by Women of Marvel) talk about how Xena was challenging gender roles in the nineties, and things get personal when it comes to abandonment, self confidence, and relating to Xena as a strong and powerful woman. You bet...

This is an episode of firsts for Xena. It is the first interpretation of a bible story (oh boy). It is the first time Xena and Gabrielle bathe together. It is the first (and last) time we hear anyone talk about how much kids love nut bread. It is also the first appearance of Karl Urban, this show's most prolific guest actor, in his least memorable role as Farmer With The Heart of Coal. We are join...

It's our second Gabbysode, where we tackle the world of Xenaphemera that exists outside of the actual show. After former guest Cathy Leamy ( @metrokitty ) mentioned the concept, Chris and Allison decided to figure out a little more about Uberfic. The concept, inspired by the Xena episode THE XENA SCROLLS, imagines Xena and Gabrielle reincarnated throughout time, space and even species! If you ever...

It's Home Alone IV: Lost in New Greeceland! Vegetarians beware, because Ally has some beef on this Gabrielle-centric episode of Xena. We learn what "Gabby Style!" entails, and, spoiler alert, it's just hitting dudes in the crotch with sticks. For this episode, Chris and Ally got themselves and actual Irishman, Nathan Stockman ( @stockmannate ), an authority on red hair, to set the record straight...

He wears green, he steals things, he's Robin Hood with a Greek name: AUTOLYCUS IS HERE! Lovingly portrayed by Bruce Campbell, the King of thieves breathes life into this wonderful episode with his first appearance on Xena Warrior Princess. Bonus points go to our special guest, Chad Bowers ( @ChadBowers ), who had two sleeping children and still managed to yodel at least six times for us. This epis...

Of all the episodes to turn upsettingly horny, Chris didn't think this was going to be the one. Oh, well. This episode marks a return of Marcus, Xena's road not taken. Xena sees firsthand the repercussions of a life of wickedness, and that her acts of good might not actually be enough to redeem her. Also, Hades has a dog skin helmet of invisibility. We're joined by Annie Craton ( @anniezard ) of p...

Xena has many skills. Xena also has many twins. This episode introduces the first of many dopplegangers to come, with the unexpected added bonus of a side-Greg to Greg things up. Chris and Allison learn about the history of bread and cheese as a meal, along with how to be a convincing Xena (stop crying). There's a fountain phallus, there's some stuff about horses' tails, and there's the softest mo...

If ever there was a time to google Ambrosia Salad, now, dear listeners, is that time. Here's a question: if New Zealand is an Island, and that Island has treature on it, and Thirst Trap, Log Lady, and Tummy Palace go on a treasure hunt on New Zealand, is this episode based on Treasure Island?? Cathy Leamy ( @metrokitty ) joins us, bringing her expertise of Ye Olde 90's-and-early-oughts Internet, a...

Saddle up, listeners! It's time for our very first Gabbysode, where we tackle the world of Xenaphemera that exists outside the actual show. This time, by popular request, Chris and Allison are doing a deep dive into a popular piece of Xena erotic fan-fiction, but also talking about the importance of fanfic to XWP fandom and fandom at large, as well as the impact it's had on their own lives. Tune i...

Chrisicus Allisonyus, the expert critic, discusses the nature of television in those wild, syndicated, pre-streaming, pre-binging years. While network shows got regular runs and regular timeslots, syndicated television was like the wild west: unpredictable, and needing a clip show to catch viewers up to what they might have missed. We ask deep questions, like: What could Xena have done to improve...

This week on Captive Princeness (that's Prince Business, not Princess), Chris Sims, the Prince of Podcasting, is stripped of his title, left for dead, and sent to cohost a Xena podcast with Allison Stock, the small, angry, blonde one. Actually, it's another lackluster season 1 episode of Xena. This episode has everything! Facts about comic book writers writing for 90s TV! The return of sounds cour...

Hello, my friends! We've got a very special episode in store for you tonight! Join us as we discuss a rare, never-before seen episode of Xena, Warrior Princess, entitled Chris [Sims] Gets Married. Follow us on twitter: @ XenaWarriorBiz  This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by  @barelysushi . The Dan Scrolls by  @dancassino . Podcast edited by @allystawk . Support us o...

In their discussion of this very forgettable but actually pretty good episode, Chris mistakes Allison (a library of Alexandria truther) for a flat earther! Anyway... you've grown legendary! Join us to analyze this very roomy dungeon filled with very thirsty bisexuals, where justice is dealt unto those who make rape jokes swiftly and by sword-wielding ninjas. We get to meet some characters from Xen...

Hey Amazon, wanna go for a ride? We're finally in double digits all around, friends, so you know what that means. Time for Chris and Allison to behold a TRIUMPH of special effects artistry, a horse... that's also a dude. We've got a rectangle wrapped in hair (a centaur), the word of the day (tatty), and maybe the worst facial hair in the history of television. Anyway, they're women, they're horses...

If ever you needed a reminder that Chris and Ally are still slogging through season one, Gabrielle throws herself at yet another shitty Greg in the second episode in a row featuring a deity chained up somewhere. Only this time, instead of resulting in everyone's untimely death, now NOBODY can die. Their levels of pain and suffering may vary, but one fact remains: that this episode should probably...

It's the crossover you demanded--or at least, somebody demanded it and we know it wasn't us-- as Hercules and Iolaus join up with Xena and Gabrielle for an adventure of... TITANIC proportions. Get it? GET IT?  That's right, everyone, Xena and Hercules have to rescue Prometheus, and along the way, Kel McDonald ( @kellhound ) joins us to talk about Gabby's role as a consolation prize in the show's l...

Good Morning! Good Night! Athens! Make sure you're pronouncing that correctly so that you can wake up the newest episode of Xena Warrior Business! Christa Rodriguez ( @PaleAngelLex ) joins Allison and Chris for Xena Season 1, Episode 7: "The Titans," featuring a plot in which Gabrielle's virginity is literally more important than the person the show is named for.  Listen in as we discuss the slow...