Kinda Evil Genius Productions, LLC
Wolf 359
Life's not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. He's stuck on a scientific survey mission of indeterminate length, 7.8 light years from Earth. His only company on board the station are stern mission chief Minkowski, insane science officer Hilbert, and Hephaestus Station's sentient, often malfunctioning operating system Hera. He doesn't have much to do for his job other than monitoring static and intercepting the occasional decades-old radio broadcast from Earth, so he spend...
Author
Kinda Evil Genius Productions, LLC
Category
Podcast website
Latest episode
Nov 13, 2025
Where to listen?
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Episodes
Mission Mishaps: The Veldt 28.10.2017 9:38
Mission Mishaps, entry four. Hephaestus Log #NOL858. Day 411. Eiffel ventures into the greenhouse. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Mission Mishaps: You Want, I Solve 12.10.2017 10:49
Mission Mishaps, entry three. Hephaestus Log #WME389. Day three-hundred and seventy-two. Eiffel encounters a stowaway. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 55: A Place For Everything 03.10.2017 39:53
Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains disturbing content, threats of violence, and firearms. Listener discretion is advised. Following Eiffel's sudden disappearance, Minkowski and the crew work overtime to try to locate their missing Communications Officer. But when they instead make contact with Command agents en route to the station, the team must make some very difficult decisions...
Mission Mishaps: The Space You're In 26.09.2017 12:43
Mission Mishaps, Entry Two. Hephaestus Mission Log #KWE824. Day 202. Eiffel tries to avoid his daily chores around the station. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 54: The Watchtower 18.09.2017 42:00
Slowly floating towards Wolf 359, untethered and separated from everyone else on the crew, Officer Eiffel tries a radical approach to solving the aliens' riddle. However, it's only a matter of time before he realizes the situation might be more complicated, more unpredictable, and more dangerous than he ever imagined. Plus, a place where the sidewalk ends, very necessary drama, the immortal words...
Mission Mishaps: A Little Night Music 12.09.2017 16:10
Mission Mishaps, Entry One. Hephaestus Formal Complaint #ARB062. Day 510. Eiffel tries to boost the crew's morale with a bit of sonic artistry appreciation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 53: Dirty Work 04.09.2017 44:03
This episode of Wolf 359 contains discussions of violence and death. Listener discretion is advised. When Eiffel picks up signs of a transmission from deep space just hours before Hera's scheduled to go through an internal reset, the crew is divided on whether he should attempt to pursue it or not. But with only the autopilot for backup and an unexpected threat waiting in the wings, they soon dis...
Episode 52: Constructive Criticism 22.08.2017 32:36
Following the fiasco that was his latest attempt at radio journalism, Officer Eiffel has retreated away from the crew, working long hours by himself. Things take a turn for the worse, however, when a dangerous gas is accidentally released throughout the station. Quarantined in Hilbert's old lab while Hera works to undo the environmental damage, the crew and their prisoners resorts to increasingly...
Episode 51: Shut Up and Listen 08.08.2017 41:00
Space Monkey Radio proudly presents U.F.Overview: a new series that offers in-depth analysis on the possibility of alien contact, and explores the complex realities of communicating with non-terrestrial beings. What do we know? How do we know it? When will we know that what we're trying to know is something we can know? Join our two intrepid co-hosts as they ponder these questions. Plus, archive r...
Episode 50: The Hiccups Method 25.07.2017 35:43
It’s been a few weeks since the crew aborted repairs on the Urania, and they are no closer to figuring out how to satisfy the aliens' mysterious demands. If only they had someone on board who shared some sort of connection with these beings... But convincing Captain Lovelace to try and reach out to the alien presence for answers is only half the battle - they will have to really think outside the...
Episode 49: Out of the Loop 11.07.2017 40:40
With the end of the Urania's repairs in sight, the crew is throwing all their energy into one final push. But as the finish line inches closer, Captain Lovelace begins to notice something strange. Work is mysteriously getting undone each morning, and certain events seem to be repeating themselves day in and day out. What is happening? And why does no one else seem to notice? Plus, hydraulic horsep...
Episode 48: Theta Scenario 26.06.2017 37:50
Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains mentions of violence, death, and suicide. Listener discretion is advised. As Eiffel, Minkowski, Hera, and Lovelace try to decide how to allocate their limited resources, Kepler finally reveals some of Goddard Futuristics's most deeply held secrets. Before the crew can consider the existential implications of these revelations, however, they'll ne...
Mini Episode 14: One of Them 19.06.2017 8:53
Eiffel and Minkowski listen in on a tense discussion. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 47: Into the Depths 12.06.2017 45:47
Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised. The crew of the Hephaestus's day just got a whole lot worse. The funeral they were holding was interrupted by one of the deceased seemingly coming back to life, their station is being battered by radiation, and Hera has gone offline. And - oh yes - the alien contact event they've been hearing so much abou...
Special Episode: Change of Mind 09.06.2017 2:09:45
Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised. Captain Lovelace, commanding officer of the U.S.S. Hephaestus Station, is not having a great week. She's butting heads with Communications Officer Lambert, her pedantic second-in-command. Doctors Hui and Fourier, her astrophysicists, seem more interested in an upcoming stellar flare than in basic station...
Episode 46: Boléro 25.12.2016 37:51
As Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera reel from the results of their mutiny, it soon becomes clear that even worse dangers might be right around the corner. With everyone's psyche in a delicate state and the chances of survival mounting against them, the crew has to decide how to spend their last hours before the alien contact event. Plus, the Grand Ol' Opry, ooga-booga, evolution, the oncoming alien-poc...
Episode 45: Desperate Measures 12.12.2016 37:36
This episode of Wolf 359 contains gun violence. Listener discretion is advised. Part two of two. The crew desperately tries to salvage their mutiny and escape the wrath of the SI-5. But as both sides try to out-maneuver each other, the danger of drastic actions causing irreparable damage becomes more and more pronounced. Plus, the hands of the enemy, disciplinary tools, recreational monster huntin...
Episode 44: Desperate Times 06.12.2016 37:22
Part one of two. Still reeling from recent revelations, the crew plans to neutralize Colonel Kepler and the SI-5. But it's not long before different factions insist on conflicting ways to overcome their enemies - and about the level of force the situation calls for. Plus, clinical descriptions, war crime fuel, different approaches to weasel-popping, situations of absolutely elephantine proportions...
Episode 43: Persuasion 22.11.2016 38:02
With just over a day left before the long-anticipated alien contact event, Colonel Kepler keeps the crew working overtime to get the Hephaestus ready for anything - and everything - that might happen. As they work around the clock, however, the crew finds that Wolf 359's turbulent air space and a side project of Doctor Hilbert's might offer some unique challenges and some unexpected opportunities....
Episode 42: Time to Kill 31.10.2016 36:20
In order to better study the properties of an incoming solar storm, Eiffel, Lovelace, Jacobi, and Maxwell are assigned to collect data on board a small experimental module. Separated from the Hephaestus and the rest of the crew for four days, they must find ways to occupy their minds and stave off boredom. But as time goes by and the storm draws closer, they soon discover that their expedition may...
Episode 41: Memoria 19.10.2016 42:53
With Hera out of commission, Doctor Maxwell attempts a difficult reconstructive procedure on the unresponsive autopilot program. Before she can even begin, however, she will have to navigate through the shifting landscape of Hera’s memory banks, a task infinitely more complex than it might appear at first glance. Plus, subjective realities, really loud pinball machines, deleted scenes, attempted c...
Episode 40: Limbo 03.10.2016 36:51
While most of the crew tries to enjoy a rare moment of downtime, Doctor Maxwell discovers some previously undetected flaws in the station's systems. When her suspicions about these faults are proven right, the crew is forced to have a series of unexpected and difficult conversations. Plus, the Cybermen Appreciation Society, Cold Shower September, the master of the prank, everlasting funstoppers, a...
Episode 39: All Things Considered 19.09.2016 28:59
After a technical mishap causes Jacobi's latest experimental gizmo to discharge within the Urania, a number of the SI-5's personal items are vented into space. A furious Colonel Kepler assembles everyone who was involved, hell bent on determining which of his underlings is at fault. But when Minkowski, Jacobi, and Eiffel each present wildly different accounts of the event, he and Captain Lovelace...
Episode 38: Happy Endings 04.09.2016 37:51
Preparations are underway to deal with the next contact anomaly from Wolf 359. But the old crew of the Hephaestus is still unsure what preparations they should make to deal with Colonel Kepler and his team, and the divide in strategies is only getting sharper. Hoping to bring an end to the standstill, Dr. Hilbert decides to try a more radical approach, and seek help from an unlikely source. Plus,...
Mini Episode 13: Kansas 29.08.2016 11:55
Captain Warren Kepler undergoes an evaluation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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