Why does this thing exist? (Podcast)

In this episode, Dean teaches Simon about what the business elite are doing over on LinkedIn and then they sample some (possibly poisonous) chicken flavour sweets. At the end of the show they stumble upon an idea for a more modern competition to replace beauty pageants and crown a new Miss Universe Australia.  Lick your anus LinkedIn profile - https://www.linkedin.com/in/lick-your-anus-691152...

In this episode, Dave returns to promote season two of the “Will Riker Sex Beard” podcast. The three idiots giggle and shout about genital themed footwear, workplace etiquette, body-smoking devices, Russ Abbot, time-travel theories, Usain Bolt, illogical sayings, bees, an architect from Canada and more.   Penis slippers - https://imgur.com/vR4rrTK   How Dean’s mam told him about the...

In this episode, Dean starts proceedings by sharing a personal matter and then the boys tuck-in to an implausible strongman. The main course is beans this week and for dessert is a wikipedia article about an old reality tv show from America.  Article on Khan Babar - https://broscience.com/khan-baba/   Dr Pepper Baked Beans - https://imgur.com/n90NGd8 https://imgur.com/Jt34uhT  &nbsp...

In this episode, Dean presents Simon with another strange item that he found whilst walking the dog, the pair on them then give advice on bio-crimes and consumer affairs while looking at a fruity-animal garden object and end the show by discussing rugby basketball in the Random Wikipedia Article section.  Tomb Raider DVD (bitten) - https://i.imgur.com/0v9RCFW.jpg   Art Ornaments Duc...

In this episode, Simon gives Dean an update on how his ‘Parting Shots’ re-write is coming along and then they examine the Crazy Frog’s reproductive organs and a medical/torture device. They also return to the subject of American Football, as Wikipedia insisted upon it.  Crazy frog -  https://imgur.com/YaOkKHv   Picture from a Winnie the Poo book - https://imgur.com/ix2jOPI   Vi...

In this episode, Dean and Simon are joined by author Nick Pettigrew (‘Anti-Social’, available wherever you buy books) to discuss ear-grooming, toasters, adults with the voices of children and Frankenstein the Bishop of Worms.  Ear hair waxing treatment - https://www.instagram.com/reel/CofXjhzASz8/?igshid=MjljNjAzYmU%3D   NFL Toasters - https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003C0BK72/ref=cm_cr_...

In this episode, a mildly argumentative Simon criticises popular culture in order to defend what is sure to be a terrible film. Dean helps Simon try to work out why a woman is walking through the American desert on a road to nowhere and then the both of them try to remember a song by Busta Rhymes.  Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Once and Always Trailer -  https://youtu.be/ZKE2DC7Xzog &nbs...

In this episode, Dean and Simon take a closer look at Chris Rea’s short stint as a film star, discuss practical jokes and the type of man that loves them and then struggle to navigate the internet while discussing a Swedish children's film from the 1980s.  Parting shots -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPz5NyFtjes&ab_channel=BleibergEntertainment   Fake electrical outlet stick...

In this episode, an enthusiastic listener phones in for a chat with Dean and your hosts have a look at a faux-celebrity wrestling event. Simon tells Dean about a stingy-nettle eating competition and the pair of them finish off by discussing beetles, bats and Beatles.  Mr Blobby wrestling clip -  https://m.facebook.com/FTLOWrestlingUK/videos/blobby/1213179802917432/   World nettle ea...

In this episode, comedian Charlie Webster joins Dean and Simon to talk about cancer, cat-shaped tissue dispensers, parrot paintings and a music advocate. It’s a dark topic to start an episode with and it isn’t treated with the respect it deserves so beware of that. I blame Dean, personally. Charlie’s got a new podcast coming out soon, it’ll be called ‘Scum Tank’ so keep an eye out for that. ...

In this episode Dean gives Simon a new reason to be afraid of spiders, Simon shows Dean a clip of a cartoon character using a surprising turn of phrase and then they bad-mouth a long-dead Canadian gentleman.  Spider zombie necrobots are next-gen grippers - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_txFWbuZ6B4&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=GiGadgets   Wilma Flintstone swears - https://youtu.b...

In this episode, Dean recommends a film and Simon Introduces Dean to a company that will put a dog’s face on Phil Mitchell’s body and turn it into a jigsaw. Finally, an old foe rears its ugly head and ruins the Random Wikipedia Article section.    Contract to Kill Trailer - https://youtu.be/6AkmvKdKCWY      Phil Mitchell (Eastenders Inspired) Custom Pet Puzzle - https://ww...

In this episode, your hosts take a trawl through the famous faces you can hire, pitch a new gameshow to BBC Wales and find out about the world’s smallest snake. Dean was a naughty boy this week and forgot to turn his microphone on so they’ve had to use the back-up audio for section one, it doesn’t sound too bad though.  Susan Scott Lookalike Agency -  http://www.lookalikes.info/our-looka...

In this episode, actor/singer/composer Carys Eleri ( https://linktr.ee/caryseleri ) joins Dean and Simon to discuss savoury eyelashes, dirty dogs, miniature cups, sweaty lips and more.  Cheese and Onion fake eyelashes - https://www.meggilashes.co.uk/products/cheese-onion-crisps-3-lash-pack   Pooping Pooches 2023 calendar - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0754Y9GNH/ref=sspa_dk_detail_4?pf_rd_p...

In this episode Dean and Simon unravel the symbolism within a music video, form a sacrilegious plan to condemn a friend to Hell and discover the wonder of a low-powered television station in the USA.  Dua Lipa “Love Again” (Official Music Video) - https://youtu.be/BC19kwABFwc   Monty Don Prayer Candle - https://www.aintsaint.co/products/saint-monty-don-gardeners-world-prayer-candle?...

In this episode, your hosts introduce a new segment, rediscover a shoddy toy from their childhood and wang on about architecture. Moving on to the Random Wikipedia Article Segment, the pair of them decide to review an article about a geological formation by focusing their attention on The Silence of the Lambs, for some reason.   Barcode Battler advert - https://youtu.be/Hqfv4f-G-Ro &nbsp...

In this episode, Dean presents Simon with a truly mysterious artefact of unknown provenance. Any information the listener can provide on the matter will be gratefully received. Simon shows Dean a tube that can help him shape his meat into a nice sausage shape and then they speculate wildly about a retired sportswoman, rudely insult Dutch cuisine and patronisingly compliment the Dutch people on the...

In this episode, Dan Mitchell (@specileptic on twitter) joins the clown show. The three pigs discuss a diet book that doesn’t contain any recipes, take a glance at some of the top-notch journalism that they have over there in Ireland, take apart some very small golf clubs and finish off by unearthing a super-power that Dan didn’t know he had.  Michael Winner’s Fat Pig Diet - https://www.goodr...

In this episode, Dean and Simon discuss a particularly sweary example of Simpsons-based detournement before they bring in a canine chum to help review a beer that’s been specially ‘brewed’ for dogs. They finish off by getting distracted by the dog while trying to discuss Pakistan’s efforts at the 1988 Summer Olympics.  Seedy things Dean found on the ground -  https://i.imgur.com/n8n...

In this episode, Dean and Simon draw on their detective instinct to speculate about a discarded box of Viagra that Dean found frozen on the pavement. They continue the wintery theme by taking a look at a daft product that’s meant to protect a specific part of your body from the cold and then finish off by being dismissive of a ground-breaking scientist’s achievements.  Viagra Packet - https:/...

In this episode, Simon and Dean gently ease into the new year by reminiscing about an old book and listing rugby players. They also try to work out why a dental practice would feel the need to laminate a seemingly innocuous sign and end the show by investigating the life of an Australian sportsman.  Tommy David book - https://www.wob.com/en-gb/books/carwyn-james/tommy-david/9780950404226?gcli...

In this special episode, Chairman of the Board and minority-shareholder Dave Steele (Will Riker’s Sex Beard Podcast) returns to deliver Dean and Simon’s annual performance review. Dave has come prepared with a spreadsheet, stats, figures and poetry in order to assess whether your hosts have met their goals for the year in podcasting.   Wikipedia – Golden Browed Chat-Tyrant https://en.wik...

In this episode, a ‘tired’ Dean and Simon convene for a late-night record to bring you features on old-timey bicycles, strange wall decorations and gambling opportunities. How two men that claim to be uninterested in horses can end up talking about them on a seemingly weekly basis is beyond me. I’m going to petition for a full embargo on horse-based chat in 2023.  Penny Farthing article: http...

In this episode, Dean and Simon welcome guests new and old to their house for a Christmas Party. The gang celebrate the season in the traditional style by discussing dog/audio mashups, hand-porn/rage-bait mashups and basketball/MMA mashups. They also delve into a fish.  A bluetooth speaker shaped like a dog - https://imgur.com/3sN24Nh    The tik-tok videos Adam shows us - https://ww...

In this special edition of the podcast we bring you Dean’s report from ‘Wonderland - The World’s Leading Psychedelic Event’, a conference he attended in Miami, Florida, USA in November 2022.   This episode is available in an audio/visual format on YouTube should you wish to follow the slideshow in real time -  https://youtu.be/Tn8C82lnhEk   Photo 1 - https://imgur.com/JXpOc7I &...