Who Gets the China?

This mini episode features a very special guest: my mom!  Together, we share the funny, at times frustrating, and surprisingly emotional journey of trying to downsize the family dollhouse. Join us as we take a stroll or two down memory lane and explore why it’s so hard to let go of items that you have such an emotional connection to.   To read this essay, and see photos(!), visit www.whogetsthechi...

I often find that every visit to my parents seems to become more of a mission to tackle an endless checklist than an opportunity to spend time with family and build memories in the time we're lucky to have. It's so easy to focus on the to-do list that you lose sight of creating quality time. I've worked with a range of experts to create my list of Top Ten Strategies to Maximize Quality Time - with...

In this episode, Julie Butscher, LCSW and Kirsten dive into the often-tough conversations around whether aging parents should stay at home or move into a community, offering practical strategies, compassionate insights, and a positive outlook to help families find the right solutions. From using the “Spoons Theory” to maximize quality of life, to having the “car key conversation,” planning ahead t...

What are the most important parts of organizing an estate? What forms need to be in place, even as soon as we turn 18? How do we protect our parents (and our own) finances from accidents to fraud? Estate attorney Kami Pomerantz is here to answer our questions and share her expert knowledge for preparing an estate for a smooth transition at any financial level.   Connect with us on  Substack If you...

This yellow sticky note greets me on a recent visit to my parents’ house. I know exactly what it means. I wonder what it might conjure for you?   Connect with us Follow and subscribe to Who Gets the China? on Substack for funny and emotional essays about helping one’s parents live better, longer and saving your sanity while you’re at it. @whogetsthechina.substack.com/ Visit www.whogetsthechina.com...

Kirsten sits down with palliative care expert Sarah McCarthy, LCSW, to demystify what palliative care really is and how it differs from hospice. Together they explore how palliative care can support patients and families facing serious diagnoses by focusing on quality of life, medical goals, and meaningful conversations about care preferences. From understanding when to start palliative care to na...

Welcome to this episode of Who Gets the China? Where we are navigating the joys and challenges of life with aging parents, one family heirloom at a time. In this case, it's vintage sewing machines. My mom is a gifted quilter and sewist, as I have mentioned before. She’s made everything from queen-size quilts to pink taffeta and lace prom dresses (of course, we still have that)! Once we spent a sum...

In this episode, Kirsten is joined by Nancy Nicholson, an expert in estate organization. They explore the emotional and practical journey of helping parents downsize, from sorting cherished belongings and handling heirlooms to creating safer living spaces and planning for the future. Nancy shares her compassionate expertise, offering strategies that make donating feel good, involve the whole famil...

Today’s podcast guest, Colleen Attoma-Mathews, LCSW, has an expertise helping families cope with cognitive decline and memory loss. Join us as we breakdown some of the psychology behind why decluttering, downsizing and transitions with older parents are so hard. We discuss things we can do to make this process easier with lots of laughs and aha moments along the way. Follow Who Gets the China? on...

My sister and I just returned from a visit to my parents helping them out after our mom had minor surgery. It gave the 4 of us a rare chance to spend time together as the OG “nuclear family.” It also gave me fodder for my writing journey - some funny, some emotional. I appreciate this time with my parents in a new way now that I have been working hard to better understand this phase of life and ho...

Oh boy, the invasion of the handmade throw pillows. It’s real. Do you have any idea how many throw pillows you can acquire over the course of your life? So. Many. Bed pillows, couch pillows, kitchen chair pillows, desk chair pillows! The options are endless. Some are handmade, others accumulate from trips to HomeGoods, or travel adventures. When I got married one compromise I was forced to make wa...

Most likely you are familiar with Cross pens. They were founded in 1846 by a family of jewelers and have been used by Presidents since Ronald Reagan for signing bills into law and formalizing other important documents. Growing up, personalized Cross pens were a gift at milestones and from business partners. Back in the 70s, 80s, and 90s they were something of a status symbol. They claim to come wi...

One adage about decluttering is to not shop where you donate. The point is to avoid the temptation to come home with something you didn’t really need. I try my best to heed this advice but sometimes I can’t resist! About 15 minutes away, we have a very lovely, very expansive, retirement community where several of my friends’ parents have downsizes. They have everything from choir to pickleball and...

Recently, I shared Top 10 Tips from experts on how to spend more quality time than productive time when visiting your older parents . (Check it out!) I just got back from a visit to my parents and my husband asked, “Well, how did you do? Did you take your own advice?” Hmmm, I’m going to take a few minutes to reflect on that in this post and share some gems we uncovered. Well, I did better than bef...

This weekend I was on a girls weekend and saw a friend I don’t get to see very often. For the last year or so she has been overwhelmed caring for aging parents; dealing with their housing challenges; mourning the loss of a parent; and moving another parent into assisted living. One of the first things my friend lamented was the complete overwhelm of trying to sift through family memories - namely,...

Growing up in the 70’s we were part of a “glass animal craze.” Or maybe it was just us. I have no idea, but we amassed quite a collection. We had these cute gift stores in town like D.W. Curry’s and you could peruse the hundreds of “porcelain” animals - swans on a lake, kittens with a spilled milk bucket, dolphins, horses, you name it. I suppose these were affordable ways to spend a 10 year-old’s...

When we lived in Connecticut, the china and crystal lived in special glass-fronted corner cabinets in our dining room. They were visible and accessible, but clearly meant only for special occasions. We probably used them to toast my engagement and on Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving. They made the move along with my parents to California 28 years ago and I’m not sure we’ve used them since. So this y...

Welcome to Who Gets the China? Essays and insights on navigating life with aging parents Are your parents aging? Same. Are you thankful? Yes! Is managing this transition driving you a little bit crazy? Me too. I hear you. I love my parents and am so thankful to have them as active participants in my life, even at 55. But helping them live longer and independently can make you laugh, cry and want t...

There are hundreds of things in your parents’ home you may have never noticed before. Things in the garage, storage closets, even the laundry room that once seemed totally benign and reasonable. Then one day, you see it in use and it strikes the fear of immediate and significant injury in you. I call this “The Wooden Ladder Episode.” One day after I probably read an aging-in-place article, I saw m...