White Collar Advice

About six months ago a former accountant who served 15 months for payroll protection fraud called me with one question: how do I disclose my felony conviction to potential employers. He didn't take the advice, because he called me today with the same problem while I'm in Montana still trying to get home. I reminded him that prison doesn't change the fact that he ran a successful business for more...

Matt Cox on the guys who won't take a job because it pays a hundred dollars a day instead of 300 or 400. Work five days at a hundred and you have 500 you didn't have before. He says they would rather stay in prison than do something beneath them, and he asks what's beneath you when prison is where you already are, at the bottom. If he's working the fry machine at a fast food place, he still gets t...

A doctor back east called me. I spoke with him about nine months ago and he told me his lawyer wouldn't let him do the work. I said he could have a different conversation and try to engineer something different. He said no, he won't let me. So now he has a probation interview that isn't correct, a sentencing memorandum he never reviewed, and the longer sentence he absolutely knew was coming, and h...

I'd rather be in prison than on a fast boat in the ocean, but my kids love it and I love my kids. When I got off the boat in the Bahamas I had a kind text from a guy who scheduled a call with me for Monday. He asked me to review his indictment and his potential plea agreement before we talk. I won't, and here's why. A consultant in Florida who has been to prison twice told someone he might as well...

I saw Chipper Jones at dinner in the Bahamas and it took me back to 1999. I'm not comparing myself to a Hall of Famer, the second greatest switch hitter of all time behind Mickey Mantle, but it shows what one conversation can do. My best friend Brad Fulmer, who came to my sentencing hearing and visited me twice a month in prison, was in his second year with the Montreal Expos. He finished third or...

Back from the Bahamas, wrecked. I got a text that said please call me immediately, so I opened a Coke Zero and called. He told me I didn't know him, that he was on my live YouTube video two weeks ago and made a note of something I said, and that it proved why his judge gave him an extra two years. What I said was that a judge may give a longer sentence to account for the reductions: a year off fro...

Someone left the courthouse and texted me: I was just sentenced, what should I do now? I don't know if he's married, if he has children, how old he is, or the length of the sentence, so I answered on a macro level for anyone who was just sentenced. Start with gratitude. You will serve time with men who were taken into custody at their guilty plea, remanded that day, and never saw freedom again. Yo...

A case study in 30 seconds on how to get a longer federal prison sentence, probably nine months longer. Your victim, someone you hurt mentally, financially, and emotionally, is speaking to your very cynical judge who used to run the fraud division. They're describing the damage you caused. Don't shake your head. Don't give a look of disgust, because the judge will interrupt the victim, chastise yo...

Did you ever see Animal House? Thank you sir, may I have another. Someone asked me why a defendant would shake his head in front of the judge while the victim was speaking, and why the judge gave him an extra nine months for it. He had had enough. He didn't believe the victim was actually a victim. Think about what was stacked up behind that head shake: a plea agreement he didn't agree with, Depar...

A guy on his second day at Montgomery federal prison camp stood in the chow hall and complained. The judge said at his sentencing it was clear he would never return to another courtroom. He paid his lawyer around $800,000, a former prosecutor who ran the fraud division and knows the judge and the prosecutor. His guidelines were 41 to 51 months and he got 18. He wanted to know why he wasn't home wo...

Before I went to prison, if you had asked me about people in prison I would have said they're all bad, lock them up, they're felons, they're criminals. Then I went, and I saw guys working hard who never had the opportunities I had and squandered. Prison Professors gives you a way to help people going to prison and to document your own journey. More than 9,000 people have done it, and there are mor...

Three takeaways from the first seven pages of Mike Tyson's autobiography, Undisputed Truth. One, he wrote that from his character reference letters you would have thought he came up with a cure for cancer, had a plan for peace in the Middle East, and nursed sick kittens back to health. He knew the letters were a lie and said nothing about his character. Two, he wrote that he was so arrogant in the...

I read something this morning, then wasted time watching Masters of the Universe, and Skeletor's line at the end took me right back to what I read. Someone home from prison, prosecuted under the Biden DOJ, asked for my thoughts on his indictment. I told him I'm not a lawyer but I would read it. What I read made me sick. The DOJ convicts most people. They have endless resources. Your name versus th...

I had dinner with a prosecutor tonight. I wasn't expecting it. I was at my club working on our legal directory, which will have about a hundred lawyers in it soon, and a friend who golfed with him brought him in. Two things stuck with me. He admitted he may ask for a longer sentence when he knows the judge is inclined to give a shorter one, to balance it out. And he talked about the lawyer, and ho...

I've attended more than 1,500 sentencing hearings. This one was a guy who graduated college, went straight for an MBA, and built a business raising money to make investments. Three good quarters, then a bad quarter. Instead of telling his investors he lost money, he covered it up and told himself he would make it back. It became a Ponzi scheme, about $7 million, friends and family. I spoke with hi...

Freedom doesn't prove you've changed. Your conduct does. George Santos was sentenced to 78 or 87 months for fraud and identity theft, went to prison, complained, got clemency, came home, and then bet in the prediction markets that he would be somewhere. He made $35,000. He got caught. He settled with a civil agency, and his lawyer proudly said he doesn't admit or deny liability. In 17 years I've w...

Someone stopped me at the water park in the Bahamas today while I was with my family. It happens about once a month. He was complimentary about the videos, then said we've got to acknowledge I only served 18 months, that it was nothing. He said it kindly. It took me back to 2008, when I got bad news in prison, started complaining to Michael, then apologized because he was serving a quarter century...

I had an early Zoom call with a doctor indicted in Florida and his lawyer. The doctor couldn't reconcile two things: the FBI agent told him at his arrest that they were in the bottom of the eighth inning, and his lawyer told him to sit back, relax, and wait for discovery. So I brought up Judge Carlos Mendoza, who isn't even his judge. Mendoza enlisted in the Marine Corps out of high school, served...

I read a quote from Warren Buffett. He wrote that the best investment you'll ever make is in yourself. Learn to communicate on paper and in person. If you can't get your idea across, it's like winking at a girl in the dark. Nothing happens. Get good at it, raise your own value 50%, and nobody can take it from you.

58 pages of conduct reports. Sex toys on a video visit. Stolen earrings from the kindwear room. Fake eyelashes. Mackenzie Shirilla has a 2037 parole hearing. Parole boards don't believe words. They look at records. She is off to a bad start. Justin Paperny

Most defendants I speak with think they have a math problem. Loss amount, offense level, criminal history points. They obsess over the guideline range and do nothing to change it. Earlier today I spoke with a defendant back east who has spent weeks on the math and almost no time building the record that actually moves the outcome. This episode is about that mistake. Federal sentencing guidelines g...

He rehearsed his apology for weeks and still got 18 extra months. In this episode, I explain why vague remorse fails in federal court, what judges actually look for, and why the people who get better outcomes usually start building their case for leniency long before sentencing day.

Key Takeaways The federal sentencing guidelines create a point-based system using offense level and criminal history to produce a recommended range in months. Every enhancement — loss amount, victims, position of trust, obstruction — adds points and directly extends the likely sentence. The guidelines are advisory after Booker, but judges calculate them in every case and explain any deviation. Mos...

The federal sentencing guidelines exist because before 1987, two people convicted of the same crime could receive wildly different sentences depending on which judge they drew. Congress decided that was unacceptable. The Sentencing Reform Act fixed it — at least on paper. Here's what most defendants don't know: the guidelines are advisory. United States v. Booker made that clear in 2005. Judges mu...