When You Love a Prodigal

Our prodigal’s grandfather was dying. Papa was the most important man in Josh’s life. When he became ill and was growing weaker and weaker, we were fearful that Josh would be so devastated when Papa passed that he might take his own life. Instead, Josh planned the funeral. He said he wanted to become a good man like his grandfather—to make him proud. And he thanked God for him. Giving thanks has b...

Invisible. I almost didn’t see her, pressing tightly to the road sign, practically invisible. She was clearly homeless, preferring to hide, but needing to be seen with her cardboard sign: Homeless. Please help. God has given me many opportunities to interact with homeless people. Do you know the most consistent word they use to describe how they feel? Invisible. And that’s how prodigal lovers ofte...

Most of us have two, maybe three names, and perhaps a nickname. Each of us loves to hear our name—that means someone knows us, or cares about us or wants us. Sometimes we are named after a loved one, or our parents have chosen a name with symbolic meaning. However they originate, they become us. We are known by our names. Our God is known by His many names. Every one of His names identifies a trut...

They had three children and God sent them eight more—to adopt and foster. What they learned from parenting 11 children and their global work with orphans has given them transformational insights into what happens to children growing up in difficult, dangerous, and destructive situations.  Their research and experience will help anyone with a prodigal, and anyone in their parenting. Resources:  Joi...

So, after you’ve prayed long, speaking out everything you can think of to pray, what do you do? After any of us prays, then what? First, we wait —to see what God is doing. Sometimes we will see immediate answers; other times we await the unfolding of change. He is often kind to give us little glimpses of His response to our prayers. Some of us will rejoice in amazing transformations. Mostly we wil...

My prodigal had lied again. With a sincere assurance that he was speaking the truth. When I knew it was a lie, anger overwhelmed me. Harsh words came from my mouth. I almost said, “Don’t bother to come home.” Fortunately, God seemed to stop the last word—home—before it came out. Is it possible to forego reprimand and harsh punishment and instead choose forgiveness and blessing? Is it even wise? Re...

In middle school our prodigal had joined a gang, looking for friends he could identify with. He loved hanging with them. But one day he came home with terror in his eyes. His gang had gotten into a fight with another gang, and somehow the members of the other gang had felt that our Josh was the cause of the conflict. They were coming after him. When the battle escalates, our prayers must also! Res...

When my oldest grandson was about four and living near me, I often heard these words from him: “Let’s talk about it.” Mention anything—Star Wars, the playground, a snack, the latest book we had read—and he wanted to talk about it. I find it amazing that any 4-year-old would say, “Let’s talk about it.”   But that’s what God says to us: “Let’s talk about it, Judy.”  Today we consider what it means t...

In Thailand you might see Buddhist priests receiving bowls of rice in exchange for prayer, or in India people stopping at Wayside Shrines to pray, and in parts of Africa and China they might beseech favor from long-gone ancestors. Most people find life uncertain, threatening, frightening, so they turn to someone or something they hope has a power that can help, rescue, set free, give hope. And if...

Is your prodigal bad and rebellious, or suffering from trauma or mental illness? Michelle Essary, mental health counselor and neurofeedback specialist, talks about what might be the underlying cause of your troubled loved one’s acting out and destructive choices. You will gain helpful understanding and possible solutions. Michelle Essary is a Licensed Professional Counselor. She holds a Master’s D...

I think you are going to love today’s episode as my daughter, Michelle Essary, and I have a lively and honest conversation about the realities of living with a prodigal.  Michelle Essary is a Licensed Professional Counselor. She holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Denver Seminary. Michelle has experience working with individuals, couples and groups. She specializes in...

My son was always a hard sleeper. Even as an adult. He asked me to make sure he was up that morning. I called numerous times, but no answer. So, I hopped in the car and drove the two blocks over. I banged on the door. No answer. Through the smoky glass window alongside the door I could see a person hanging from the loft. Was that my son? If you are in crisis, help is available by call or text 1-80...

It’s like pulling daisy petals: He loves me. He loves me not. As our prodigals make dangerous decisions, our hearts and our minds waver. Does God love my child, my spouse, my sibling? Does God really love me? Can I trust Him? Resources: Join the Prayer for Prodigals community here. Sign up for Judy’s monthly newsletter here. Purchase a copy of the When You Love a Prodigal book for you or a loved o...

Our son had a lot of questions for God—hard questions: Who was his dad and why didn’t he want him? Why did his mother—whom he loved—always choose her addictions over him? Why did they take him away from her? I imagine you have some hard questions about the hard journey you are on. If we are to trust God in this challenging journey with our prodigals, we need to see that He is trustworthy. Resource...

“You can trust me.” How many times has your prodigal said that? How long has it taken you to realize, No, you can’t trust them? But our God says: “You can trust me.” Join us this week to discover why that is true. Resources: Join the Prayer for Prodigals community here. Sign up for Judy’s monthly newsletter here. Purchase a copy of the When You Love a Prodigal book for you or a loved one here. Che...

It had been a challenging three years of foster care—so many residuals from fetal alcohol syndrome, neglect, abuse and other traumas of this boy’s early childhood. Now he was up for adoption. Could we? Would we? But God’s word came clearly: “I told you I was sending you a son. Why are you rejecting my gift?” We said “yes.” Resources: Join the Prayer for Prodigals community here. Sign up for Judy’s...

You probably know the story of the monkey who wanted the banana in the bottom of the jar. He thrust his hand right in there and grabbed it—then tried to pull it out. It was stuck. He pulled and pulled, but could not get his hand, holding on to that banana, out of that jar. Until he let go of the fruit. Often that’s the way it is for me with God and my holding on to my way with my prodigal. Resourc...

Sin is exhausting. You know how children are good at manipulating their parents--they go to the one they think will say “yes” to whatever it is they want, then to the other with “Mommy said” or “Daddy said.” Pretty clever. I’ve done that myself. Manipulation easily becomes sin and will wear us out. Resources: Join the Prayer for Prodigals community here. Sign up for Judy’s monthly newsletter here....

When our prodigal, Josh, was 15, and in one of his better seasons as a prodigal, he served for a week as a junior counselor at a wilderness camp for at-risk boys. One activity included a five-mile hike, with each counselor leading a small group. Josh and his boys came to a crossroads, looking for the right turn to take. Unfortunately they took the wrong turn, and their five-mile hike turned into 1...

How do you keep your sanity when your prodigal drives you crazy? How do you find time for your family, your job, yourself when a loved one takes all your attention? How do you hold on to a relationship with a rebellious one who has run the other way? Gem and Alan Fadling, founders of Unhurried Living, have some very practical suggestions. This conversation introduces four weeks on Rest. Resources:...

“He’s building his testimony.” With those words, God kept reminding me of this important truth from Jesus: “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working” (John 5:17). When our loved one is doing destructive things, our tendency is often to sigh or cry or despair. Yet God is at work even in all this. He is at work in our prodigals, He is at work in these circumstances, and...

One of the hardest parts of the wilderness journey with a loved prodigal is the roller coaster—the ups and downs, the unexpected turns, the dashed hope. Why are we surprised? We have an enemy. That enemy is after those we love. Peter tells us: “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) Resources:  Sign up for Ju...

What do pearls and butterflies have in common? They both start out as something simple and not so beautiful and are transformed into something lovely. How does that happen? Time and pressure. Oh, how we wish our prodigals would return now . How we want them to be changed overnight! And sometimes that happens. Amazing surrender and metamorphosis can happen in a moment or a day or a week. But not us...

Surely one of the most common questions asked by those who love a prodigal is, “How long, Lord?” As our children grow, we move between “Will this phase ever end?” and “How did they grow up so fast?” But when you love a prodigal, it can seem like time stands still, and you wonder will this never end? Resources: Linger: Listen To Someone You Love Join the Prayer for Prodigals community here. Sign up...

Carol and Gene Kent were awakened late one night with unbelievable news: Their son Jason had killed a man and was in jail. That was the beginning of an horrific journey. That has led to life transformation for all three of them, and to opportunities to touch lives they couldn’t have imagined. Stay connected: Website: judydouglass.com Facebook: facebook.com/JudyDouglass417/ Instagram: instagram.com...