When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger

Trollkins has been described as a combination of the Smurfs and the Dukes of Hazzard. If that doesn't put you off I don't know what will. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Johnson and friends are a bunch of puppets owned by an Australian who will haunt your nightmares. But enough about the Conservative government, we're watching a show about a fat pink mess who hangs around with a load of scary weirdos. Wait a second... TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy...

Apparently, fish commit crimes as well, and it'll take a pink shark and some kind of other fish to stop them. They'll solve any mystery, apart from why this cartoon was ever made. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Picture Pages might be the most boring thing Bill Cosby did, but we definitely don't want to fall asleep... TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Remember He-Man? This is that. Only worse. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Pat Coombs and Keith Chegwin are a cat and a dog who live in a box. And play, presumably. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

This episode is so good, it'll make you laugh your BLANK or BLANKS off. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

After school clubs were always terrible. This one turned out to be especially bad. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Where does a dracula buy a goldfish, or a frankingstein find a hamster? Would you sell a cat to a werewolf? Dr Zitbag's Transylvania Pet Shop is less interesting that all of these questions. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Every now and then, we watch something genuinely good like Paddington Bear, the incredibly labour-intensive stop-motion animation from Ivor Wood. Don't worry though, I'm sure there will be some willy jokes in here somewhere, and Mark definitely says "boobie." TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John...

A bunch of kids live in a wasteland where the only entertainment is the most boring of all fairground rides. I'd probably talk to snails as well. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

"What do kids like?" "Cartoons?" "Of course." "Action and adventure?" "Obviously." "News and current affairs?" "For the last time John, get out of this meeting." TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Watch out, Beadle's About! this is not a drill, repeat, this is not a drill! TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Bill and Ben are made of flower pots, or wear flower pots, or just resemble flower pots for some reason...? Anyway, they live in your garden and they come alive at night. Sleep well. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

With a title like this the jokes will write themselves, so I'm not going to bother. Also, Adam West is there, so something something Burt Ward. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Lassie's owners are constantly being shot at, set on fire, lost in the wilderness, trapped down wells and being caught in the current of fast-flowing rivers. Exactly the kind of people Battersea would probably deem unfit to care for an animal. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B them...

In the 1970s, teenagers were almost indistinguishable from middle-aged adults. Maybe it's because they were all time travellers, or whatever the Tomorrow People are, we don't know, it's confusing. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Christopher Biggins hosts On Safari whilst looking like Timmy Mallett if he'd eaten Elton John. Also some kids and their parents play games to try and win a telescope or something.   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

The best thing we can say about Shane Richie on Run The Risk is that at least he isn't Bobby Davro.   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Junior Kickstart is about men standing around in the woods watching kids fall off motorbikes. And our mums used to wish we'd spend more time outside for some reason. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

We finally get to the end of the worst thing the royal family has ever done. Forget all the other bad things. Especially that one you're still thinking about.  TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

We're not saying George R R Martin was inspired by It's A Royal Knockout, but there's an evil prince and most of the main players are dead. SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!  TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

A special episode deserves a special subject, a royal subject, the subject of an investigation perhaps? It's A Royal Knockout is like a massive fever dream, minus breaking into a sweat of course.      TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

We watch more vintage adverts to give toys and games from the past some free publicity. If any of the toy companies involved want to go back in time and give our younger selves some free stuff in exchange, please consider using your time machine for something more useful.      TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B them...

What's more annoying - adverts that you can't skip, or podcasts about middle-aged men's opinions? Luckily, you don't have to choose. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling