When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger

"Ranger... Barbarian... Magician... Thief... Cavalier... and Acrobat!" Mark and Martyn revisit the first episode of W4B by rewatching the first episode of Dungeons and Dragons again. Reliving all the fun and adventure of a group of abandoned teenagers hampered in their quest to get home by a small mewling unicorn. For a second time. It's just as good as it sounded before. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwhee...

It's all been building to this - the episode where Mark's countdown to play the episode will also be the title of the show we're watching. Also we've now done a hundred episodes, and we're marking the occasion with a rubbish gameshow for some reason. why did so many old gameshows have weird animated mascots? And who do you think would win in a fight between Bully from Bullseye, Dusty Bin from 3-2-...

"It's a Bullseye!" No, it's not narrated by Super Mario, it's just Tony Green being too enthusiastic about thirty minutes of darts and trivia. It's like spending a night down the pub with your most boring friends. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

The thrilling adventures of a burger restaurant named after a type of shoes. It's Emu's Pink Windmill Show's breakout star's finest hour, as we watch Joe Greco rehearse for his next job. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

We love a good quiz. We also used to love Telly Addicts. Good joke. Everybody laugh. Anyway, we combine our usual talking over TV shows thing with trying to answer questions about TV shows, in a hideous mess of a podcast that probably shouldn't have slipped through. Maybe you should go back and download last week's episode again. That was quite good. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER...

Harrowing examples of children being killed in farming accidents and acts of unsupervised stupidity abound, as Mark and Martyn watch the public information film "Apaches." Don't play on farms. You will die. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

"Just say NO!" Yes, it's the peak of the hard-hitting Zammo drug storyline, and seemingly one of the only episodes of Grange Hill not to feature the titular school setting at all. At least we get to see a lot of Ro-land's job at the arcade though. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

*TROMBONE SLIDE* Every child of the 80s will understand the bleak depressing Northern horror of Jonny Briggs. Here's a tip - watch Threads instead. It's probably got a happier ending. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

"Toad in the hole and dog in a blanket..." The innocent adventures of a small boy and a mad old woman. How often were similar formats used in the 80s? Not any more though. Grown ups in the 80s were clearly much more trustworthy around young people... #sarcasm #yewtree EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme compos...

While Mark and Martyn were recording their Christmas special live stream playing old video games together, Martyn said they'd do a GamesMaster episode next. So that's what they had to do. In fairness, it was fun to watch. But next time maybe have those discussions when you're not recording Martyn. You idiot. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/w...

Lovely Terry Wogan's soothing voice introduces us to the surprisingly good Stoppit and Tidyup. There's also a chance for you, our beloved Wheelers, to interact with us this week - you know we're good for it, we basically have nothing else going on in our lives. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by J...

A much anticipated show is finally picked from the floor, as Mark and Martyn watch the first episode of Mr Benn. Pro tip - if a mysterious man in a fez asks you to try on some clothes, and you end up somewhere strange and unfamiliar, maybe don't go back again. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by Jo...

"It's the Playbus! Where does it go? Where does it stop? Watch for the sign of the lollipop!" Mark and Martyn catch the Playbus, and the route this episode leads to the Playtent stop. And the playtent stop can also lead to dubious movie careers... EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

"Mop and Smiff, they are two of a kind..." Two dogs? Nope. Two cats? Nope. Oh. Not really then. Hey kids, let's learn about bin men with cartoons and songs. And a big lie that has haunted Martyn since he was about 5... EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

What would you do if you could stop time? Probably not just deliver leaflets or help old men be good at darts. Bernard is an idiot. A wasteful do-gooding idiot. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Imagine Dylan Moran was a stop motion puppet living on a canal boat and dressing like David Essex. That's Joshua Jones. Mark and Martyn wish they'd timed the release of their podcasts better so this came out the same week as their If You Like episode about Jessica Jones. Didn't happen though. Didn't happen. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/wh...

Windy Miller lives in a windmill. Fiery Stationer lives in a fire station. Floristy Shopper lives in a florist shop. Only one of those is true. We watched Camberwick Green. Now I know people read the show notes you'd think I'd make a bit of an effort wouldn't you? EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy (like I said above) FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger...

"Cockleshell Bay is a town near the sea, with sunshine and seagulls that screech, There are shops that sell ices and buckets and spades, so that children can play on the beach..." Cockleshell bay feels like the sort of puppet seaside town where a puppet David Tennant and a puppet Olivia Colman are about to turn up and investigate an horrific murder. A puppet murder. I'm sure nobody reads these sho...

"A Suitcase full of clothes, everybody knows, when you're dressed in your Sunday best... anything goes!" Dressing up pigs in funny clothes and pretending they're something else is probably illegal these days. Or at least frowned upon. As the song says, "it was acceptable in the 80s..." EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigge...

"Oh come with me to the rolling sea where the weather's calm and still..." Mark and Martyn watch the adventures of three men in a lighthouse, where there's nothing weird going on at all honest, and all the shipping forecast references are lost on the children it was meant for. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B the...

This show is called "Tugs." Make up your own jokes. They'll be a lot better than ours. EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Imagine a Japanese Terrahawks that was good. A listener request that neither Mark and Martyn recalls watching, Star Fleet is that rarest of things - a kids' show from the 80s that was actually watchable... EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Noot Noot! It's Pingu, the plasticine penguin you probably thought was from the nineties. Well it's actually an eighties creation, so it fits our criteria. Only being five minutes long is a bonus... EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

"Down at the bottom of the gar-den..." Mark and Martyn watch the Poddington Peas, possibly the only kids' show to include a reference to the birds and the bees in its opening theme. So although that's a bit creep-pea, don't be grump-pea! The show's pretty crap-pea but at least the podcast is snap-pea. Ugh, kill me... EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: faceb...

Anthropomorphised shoes live in a magical village in a cobbler's back room. How are there still good new ideas nowadays if they were scraping the barrel this desperately in the 80s? There aren't any good new ideas, that's how! EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger W4B theme composed by John Croudy.