When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger

Blue Peter was boring and if you liked it you were boring too. Mark Curry was a force for chaos, destroying Lego, wearing wacky suits and riding backwards bikes with reckless abandon. Be thankful for Mark Curry. Both of them. All the Mark Currys. Everywhere. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John...

This episode was going to be about Home To Roost, but as it's episode 321 we should have made it about 3-2-1. Instead we watched a cartoon about a baby with a ginger mohawk, a spaceship and a robot butler or something. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by...

Dennis Waterman is more than the "write-da-feem-choon-sing-da-feem-choon" caricature Little Britain made him out to be in On The Up, in which the theme tune was... Oh. Never mind. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

This week we're watching Home James, one of the worst things Jim Davidson ever committed to film, including his dressing gown-clad old lady rant in his kitchen. Part one of our tenuous sitcom gingology. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Leaves come to life and have terrifying felt tip faces in Windfalls, a horrible stop-motion TV show that probably didn't even exist. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

We're supposed to be watching Noggin the Nog, but anyone who's listened before knows there's "Norway" we'll stay on topic, especially when Viking Beadle's About... TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill

The lighthearted adventures of some mistreated circus animals dealing with bereavement, train crashes and alligator attacks. Cartoons are fun. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill

Robotix was a cartoon designed to sell robot toys, and it succeeds... in making us want to buy toys from other robot cartoon toy adverts. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill

Haunted puppets of woodland creatures lurk in the darkness throughout Fox Tales, which may or may not be a manifestation of our nightmarish collective consciousness. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

A big green space rabbit and a four-armed duck kidnap a human child to kill toads, and we all went along with it because the theme song was good. Shame on all of us. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

We discover what it probably feels like to go mad as we watch a load of vehicle/animal hybrid abominations living in a weird post-apocalyptic landscape. This should have been called "Car-Pets" and I'm annoyed I only just thought of that. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acou...

We learn all about Umbrella Trees using the internet and our own curiosity, with no thanks to this boring bunch of puppet bastards who nobody's ever heard of. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

A pile of rubbish pretending to be a dog has adventures and there's rubbish everywhere and we're supposed to be ok with all the rubbish everywhere but it's awful and I hate it. What-A-Fucking-Mess indeed. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelli...

The Karate Kid has had two TV spin-offs - one is about searching the globe for a magic shrine or something, and the other is just about middle-aged men remembering the 80s. Why would anyone watch or listen to the second one? TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangem...

A polar bear and a girl try on some coats and nobody asks any questions. It would be perfectly reasonable to ask why she has a polar bear with her. Or even why the polar bear is trying on coats. But nobody does. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Be...

Time for a proper forgotten nightmare fuel treat this week as we watch Rocky Hollow, which definitely didn't exist but is also definitely going to crawl out of whatever screen you're watching it on and kill you. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Be...

A cushion puppet competes with a man in tight trousers for the most inappropriate bulge on a kids' TV show, as we watch Hickory House before washing our eyes out with bleach. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Arguably the best video game series ever made has only ever received the worst cartoon spin-offs. Super Mario World is apparently a blast from the past. But what's your favourite kind of blast? Let us know. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhel...

How do you make a cartoon out of woodland creatures living in doll houses? Add some unnecessary human kids, several layers of reality, a vampire villain and a rejected Wuzzle. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill

Three more music videos get talked over this week, but luckily Martyn's picks are mostly boring so you're not missing anything. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill

We decide to look at some more 80s music videos, and start off with three of Mark's picks. So roll up your jacket sleeves, grab a pair of legwarmers and get ready to dance to the sound of two men talking over all the music. Boooo! TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme piano arran...

"Ranger... Barbarian... Magician... Thief... Cavalier... and Acrobat!" 100 more episodes have gone by, so Mark and Martyn re-re-revisit the first episode of W4B by re-re-rewatching the first episode of Dungeons and Dragons. Again. Because they said they would. And they are stupid. Re-re-reliving all the fun and adventure of a group of abandoned teenagers hampered in their quest to get home by a sm...

Mike Read has made many things he should be ashamed of. A racist UKIP Calypso song, a board game based on a rubbish TV quiz, and a TV quiz which would subsequently be made into a rubbish board game. We examine two of those things this week. Happy 300 episodes! TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by Joh...

Shake some blue cloth around - now you're in the water! Wear a cushion on your head - now you're a pirate! Record 299 episodes of a podcast - now you're famous and popular! Pretending is fun. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Thanks to Indiana Jones, this is only the second most boring thing with a crystal skull in it. TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling