When They Were Young: Amplifying Voices of Adoptees

We start this season off with a one-on-one "calling in." I talk about the adverse affects of conflict avoidance and the true promise of accountability. REFERENCES: Victoria Albina "Feminine Wellness" https://victoriaalbina.com/podcast/ Calling In vs calling Out https://edib.harvard.edu/files/dib/files/calling_in_and_calling_out_guide_v4.pdf?m=1625683246 Support the show CONNECT...

This is the last episode in Season 3! Hoorah! And before we go on a short hiatus, I want to breakdown why and what I mean by "Where can you apply courage?" and "Courage, my love." This word is the the bedrock of this work, so let's find out why.  References: Brene Brown William Ernest Henley "Invictus" Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines...

Today’s guest is Sandy White Hawk who is the Executive Director at First Nations Repatriation Institute. She and I take the gloves off with this one. We discuss white supremacy in indigenous communities, systematic removal and problematic placements of adoptees, changing of adoptee names, and what unconditional love looks like. The mainstream doesn’t talk about what happens when the adoptee is ado...

Julie McGue graces my podcast today. We talk about the journey she took to write the extraordinary memoir, “Twice A Daughter” with her twin sister. Julie and I delve into the challenge of asking adoptive parents for adoption information, and how important it is to know your medical history. She also found some kismet moments where writing her story opened new up conversations and opportunities for...

My guest today is  Lina Vanegas who is an advocate for Displaced adoptee rights, mental health awareness, suicide prevention and is also the co-host of the podcast “Rescripting The Narrative”. We discuss how war is a prime opportunity for displaced children ending up in the adoption cycle, what advocacy can looking like in the adoption community, and suicide preventions for adoptees.  GUEST: Lina...

Our guest today, Sara Easterly  is an author and essayist who wrote a spiritual memoir called “Searching for Mom”. She writes about adoption, parenting, and grief through the lens of her Christian faith.  We go into how using faith to justify adoption can make adoptees feel alienated  and insignificant by framing adoption as a “blessing”. And her answer to my final  question “where to apply courag...

Today, Jill Ashley Hoffman helps me unpack cultural programing and conditioning around relationship with food, learning how food can be medicine and addressing thyroid disorders. Jill is a healing artist; Reiki healer, Health coach, thyroid health coach, graphic designer and #1 Best selling Co-author. Jill is here to guide us towards a healthier and holistic path. I’m so about this conversation, y...

This week in light of all the collective heart-breaks I wanted check in with everyone. How is your heart? My guest is the perfect person to share space in this tender moment.  She is such a light in this world, as a mentor and adoptive parent herself. She helps to shatter the myth that BIPOC people don't adopt--they do! And she just happens to be an adoptee to boot. We chat about  how being a...

Schai Schairer returns to talk about Haitian Heritage Month! Listen as we fellowship on what this month means to us! We discuss reclaiming our Haitian culture as interracial adoptees, building identity by immersing ourselves in various communities, and celebrating our advocacies. The authenticity of our friendship made it difficult to end this episode. We hope you enjoy hearing our vibrant convers...

Kevin Hofmann is biracial who was adopted into a White family. Listen as he uses humor to discuss the sense of belonging, imposter syndrome, and identity. His candid experiences are written in his book, “Growing Up Black in White” in which he further explores dealing with racial tensions, his loving family, and developing into a trainer to teach others various ways to coexist with someone differen...

We've all heard of the "Better life narrative" where people tell you that no matter what your present circumstances are they are better than your pre-adoption life. Well, that's not true nor is it healthy to perpetuate. My guest Mindy Stern and I break down why! GUEST::cMindy Stern @minster12 Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley....

Today I go solo to give you some key things that helped me survive this monstrous year. It is all about a higher quality of life, my beloveds. Journel Prompt: What am I feeling this way? What can I do to shift this circumstance? Write 5 things that you’re grateful for.  Write 5 lessons that you are learning from this situation. Mind Love: https://www.mindlove.com/ Cathy Heller: https://www.dontkee...

Today’s episode has Lydia Fay Berkey, who is an interracial adoptee. You’ll hear Lydia discuss how to build an Instagram presence, how Maslow's hierarchy of needs applies to transracial adoptees, how to protect your peace, and the struggle to decolonize Eurocentric beauty standards. The infectious laugher of Lydia will make it easy to stay engaged as she discusses her development into her aut...

Today Ed and I discuss his wonderful book "The Gift best Given". Ed has an inspiring perspective on how it's never too late to search for the answers.  GUEST: Edward Di Gangi https://www.digangiauthor.com/about-my-book Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here ! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courag...

We launch this season with a discussion on what it means to be stuck in a drama triangle where you're constantly playing either the role of victim, prosecutor or rescuers. Adoptee, friend and biological aunt, Dr. Juliana Olson Deans helps me unpack it all. The world at large is definitely stuck in at least one of these mindsets,  but you don't have to stay stuck. Let's figure out ho...

We're back! Come join me this Saturday for another round. I'm so excited! @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com DONATE TO THE SHOW: https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoung Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here ! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: Bett...

Today in this solo episode I wanted to talk to you about lost languages. I stumbled across this article called  “Forgotten First Languages Leave An Imprint On The Brain.” For those of you feeling overwhelmed (like me) with the idea of re-learning your mother-tongue this article gave me so much comfort and hope.  REFERENCES: Adoptees who taught themselves their native language: Jacob Taylor Mosquer...

Jacob Taylor Mosquera is a Colombian adoptee who taught himself Spanish in two years and now teaches Spanish in Seattle. He is the author of, “I Met Myself In October: A Memoir of Belonging.” He shares his extraordinary  journey of discovery, self-actualization and identity. This is going to be a good one!  GUEST:: Jacob Taylor Mosquera https://www.imetmyselfmemoir.com/ Support the show CONNECT WI...

Our guest today is Astrid Castro. You’ve heard me talk about how much I love the phrase “The Adoptee Constellation” before, and I first heard it from her. Astrid’s works in both the private and public sectors of various adoption organizations such the Oregon Post Adoption Resource Center (ORPARC), Holt International, Rocky Mountain Adoption Exchange to name just a few. She is the creator of The Ad...

Today’s guest  has one of the gentlest spirits I’ve ever encountered. Moses Farrow is a very active activists and a long time family therapist. In this conversation he gives some actionable steps to come back to yourself and begin the work to reconnecting with who you are. Moses Farrow is an advocate for mental health, adoption reform and suicide prevention. GUEST:: Moses Farrow #truthislouder htt...

 The co-founder and executive director of The Adoptee Collective reached out to me about a possible collaboration. She and I instantly hit it off. Heather Enright is not an adoptee but has an in-depth perspective having worked as a social worker for 19 years. After watching my panel series she had the intuitive ping to leave her current job and start a journey as an advocacy for adoptee . The firs...

This conversation is incredibly important if you have a child of another race, if your family is of another race,  or if you live on this planet. You will walk away more informed. My guest Issac Etter is an incredible educator, consultant, speaker, activist and social entrepreneur.  He’s the co-founder of SafeHouse Lancaster , where he is the co-executive director. Isaac also serves on the board o...

This week is a solo episode to share some actionable steps to unlearn perfectionism. This is something that I am constantly working on and have finally gained some ground on through meditation and thought work. I've included some links to people who've helped me along the way.  REFERENCES: Joe Dispenza: https://youtu.be/oFB6KDftGPY Victory Albino: https://victoriaalbina.com/ Expanded Pod...

Today’s episode takes a deep dive into my perfectionism, boundaries and people pleasing. I did not intend for it to play out that way, but when I met Amy Geller, today’s guest, I was disarmed. She has a magical--Jedi way of getting down to the root of the issue in a matter of minutes—I could have spoken with her for hours. I can see why she is so successful in her work helping clients through depr...

I lost my grandmother, and my aunt Juliana lost her mother about a month ago. We asked Dr. Charmaine Borda to interview myself and my biological aunt,  Dr Juliana  Olson- Deans, because Charmaine is a close friend of Juliana’s and I have loved getting to know her this last year. Both of these women are adoptees who work as clinical psychologists in the world— they have a beautifully 3 dimension vi...