Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's

After a political realignment, I explore the possibility of accepting advertising dollars from a nootropics company. But a brain enhancement pill accident involving my dog has me concerned about a "Flowers for Algernon" type situation.

In part two of a special two-part event (and my record-breaking 350th episode), I am once again experiencing election anxiety, exactly as I did eight years ago, when I first became a devout Christian by calling a prayer hotline.

On part one of a special two-part event, I have named my new dog. But concern about his love of a devilish Halloween pet costume causes me to seek spiritual guidance.

I adopt a dog to aid me in my investigations. Plus, I look into a recent outbreak of E. Coli at McDonald's by mailing a laboratory a hamburger.

In preparation for my upcoming role as United States Pizza Czar, I assemble a uniform with the help of Brooks Brothers and the fine folks at Gorilla Glue.

While investigating the ongoing case of whether Kamala Harris really worked at McDonald's, I unfortunately break a cardinal rule of journalism by sending a source my nudes.

I give God Ben-David one more chance to answer my prayers by pleading with Him to remove violence from the hearts of humanity before I become a major political figure.

I investigate reports that Kamala Harris did not, in fact, work at McDonald's. In the process, I update my resume.

In light of recent McDonald's-related developments in presidential politics, I consider giving up my status as a journalist to become a government lackey.

While investigating reports that Vice President Kamala Harris may have worked at McDonald's, I seek valuable intelligence from another fast food chain owned and operated by nearly six guys.

While visiting the White House to lobby "lame duck" President Biden on passing executive action related to the McDonald's Pizza matter, I suffer an embarrassing accident for which I must extend a sincere mea culpa.

After a Hawaiian Breeze-scented oil explosion forces me to take several baths, my fingers become so pruny that my home security is put at risk.

After last week's electrocution incident, I update the Glade Plugins medical department on my recent doctor's visit and receive some startling disinformation vis-à-vis which of their products is safe to heat up on the stove.

My award-pending investigative series Sériàlle comes to an abrupt end, when I am threatened with legal action by a major local New York newspaper.

My investigation into mysterious McDonald's Pizza matters in Canada leads me to a floating McDonald's in Vancouver which once played host to a team of Dracula chasers.

I employ the expertise of film critic Jordan Hoffman to analyse the quality of "Gone in a Heartbeat", the television movie adaptation of the Whitehorse McDonald's kidnapping.

Notable Canadian Mr. Steven Page joins the program to enlighten listeners about the nature of those dark and troubled souls who choose to live in Whitehorse, home of the McDonald's Pizza Kidnapping.

Professional treasure hunter Christian B. Roper shares startling and disturbing information about a brutal k-wording (kidnapping) that may have been committed as retaliation for serving pizza at the Whitehorse McDonald's.

On episode 1 of Sériàlle, our new serialized series about Canadian McDonald's Pizza matters, a remote town in the territory of Yukon Territory begins to reveal its startling secrets.

At great risk to my own personal safety, I uncover exactly who manufactures the pizza ovens currently being used by Tim Horton's. And this information is sure to throw McDonald's into an uncontrollable rage.

In the first of a mult-part series on recent pizza developments in Canada, I investigate the addition of pizza to the Tim Horton's menu.

Special deputy journalist Karl (Up There in Canada) files a report from a Toronto-area McDonald's that happens to be in the 2024 total solar eclipse's path of totality.

On a special Easter edition of the program, my plan to spread the Good News about McDonald's Pizza via Easter egg hunt is thwarted by an agent of the cloth.

Upon learning that Chick-fil-A is now serving pizza, I seek to discover whether it is prepared in the same way as the restaurant's standard menu items (blessed by Jesus Ben-David, a.k.a. The Christ).

To make sure McDonald's Pizza does not fall victim to rising fast food costs, I test a plan to secure a cheap pizza crust supply chain by fishing them out of dumpsters.