What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

This week's listener question comes from Kristen in our Facebook group: How much input should I have on my kids' choice of friends? This is a hard one. Ceding control over our kids' lives is anxiety-producing, and one of the first ways we need to practice letting go is when our kids choose friends that - let's say - wouldn't have been our first choice for them. So that's the bad news. The good new...

This week we're introducing a "From The Vault" series, reconsidering some of our favorite episodes of the past four years. Our kids still get angry (imagine that) so time to revisit this one. The best way to handle our children’s anger is to equip them with the tools to handle it themselves. You don’t have to smother children's emotions in order to calm them down; as your kids get older, you reall...

It often becomes clear to us where our boundaries should have been set only after those lines have been crossed and left far behind. But whether it's with overbearing extended family members or partners who leave socks on the floor, how do we create effective boundaries? Especially after it's been established that we're not very good at it, and especially in a world that doesn't very much like wom...

This week's listener question comes from Rosie in our Facebook group: My little guy is in the “only want mommy” slash “must be touching mommy” phase. Any advice on how to not go insane and to still get things done with a 26-pound, 17-month old attached to my hip? Disclaimer: of course i give him all the snuggles, and I know it’s just a phase. But I’m going a little crazy. Yes, the "only mommy" pha...

This week we're talking to Dr. Harold Koplewicz, one of the nation's leading child and adolescent psychiatrists and the founding president of the Child Mind Institute, a national nonprofit dedicated to transforming the lives of children  struggling with mental health and learning disorders. Dr. Koplewicz is also the author of the new book THE SCAFFOLD EFFECT: Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant and Se...

This last (almost) year has been full of challenges. On the other hand, so many things that we thought had to be a certain way– weekends packed with travel sports, weddings with hundreds of guests, the wearing of Spanx– have been proven surprisingly optional. In this episode, we discuss the things that we and our listeners are hereby declaring we’ll never do, or wear, or worry about again. From pa...

Today's question comes from our Facebook group: "My son is 5 years old and in pre-K. One of the kiddos in his class lost his dad when he was very young. Since learning this, my son has started asking us about death, and has started worrying that something is going to happen to me or my husband. I'm not sure how to talk to him about it. I want him to know that it does happen, and we need to be comp...

Dr. Christine Koh, in her own words, is a "music and brain scientist turned multimedia creative." Christine creates content to help people live better, happier, and with elevated purpose and intention, including the Edit Your Life podcast. She's also someone who grew up with adverse childhood experiences, and has experience in building a family when our family of origin was not the kind of family...

Having the same fight doesn’t mean your relationship is broken. But it is totally annoying. In this episode we discuss the modes of negativity at play when we repeat the same conflicts- and what we can do to break the cycle, whether it’s our partners or kids. Conflict may be unavoidable- but it can be at least a little more productive. Here are links to some of the takes on this topic that we disc...

This week's parenting question comes from a listener in our Facebook group: I have a clingy 9-year-old. I love her more than life itself, but I am having a hard time with feeling totally smothered. I go for a walk every morning for about 30 minutes (for sanity) and every morning she asks, "How long will you be gone? 30 minutes? Can I come? Pleeease?" I stress the importance of alone time for me an...

This week we're delighted to be talking to Dr. Edward M. Hallowell– one of the world's leading experts on ADHD. Dr. Hallowell's new book, co-authored with Dr. John J. Ratey, is ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction--From Childhood Through Adulthood. Dr. Hallowell gives us concrete strategies– and tons of optimism– for those lucky enough to possess what Dr. Ha...

This podcast is always here to support moms in their righteous anger at all the completely infuriating and totally trivial things that people all over the world are constantly doing to annoy us. Usually someone related to us. But this week, we're looking inward– because sometimes we totally annoy ourselves also. In this episode we come clean about the things we do that are so irksome that we even...

Today's question comes from Crystal in our Facebook group (facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast): My six-year-old son is very difficult at the end of screen time. He gets one hour in the afternoon, but always fusses, grunts angrily, or melts down when time is up. I feel like in a normal world, I'd just take screen time away when he gives me attitude. But these days, we are home all the time, and...

Mirna Valerio is a runner, adventurer, speaker, and anti-racism educator. In this Fresh Take interview, Mirna tells us how she fell off the fitness wagon after becoming a mom, how that first mile went once she made herself lace up her running shoes again, and her path to becoming an endurance athlete since then. Even if we’re not all cut out to run 100 kilometers in the desert– or even want to– Mi...

We asked our listeners to tell us how life with Covid has affected their own parenting. Some of us have gotten more socially anxious; others, like the moms of kids with severe allergies, have found the isolation reassuring. Some of us have treasured the extra time with our children; others are nearing their breaking point. Some of us are stressing about the screen time; others are thrilled we’re n...

This week’s question comes from Jaclyn in our Facebook group (facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast): "Would love some advice for the "monsters under the bed" phase. My three-year-old is worse than he was as a newborn, waking me up 30 times at night! If I ignore him, he will scream and cry, then come into our room. I could let him sleep with us, but he doesn't sleep well when he is in our bed, and neithe...

This week we’re talking to Ned Johnson, co-author (with William Stixrud) of THE SELF-DRIVEN CHILD: THE SCIENCE AND SENSE OF GIVING YOUR KIDS MORE CONTROL OVER THEIR LIVES, which explores how fostering children’s autonomy can help solve two challenges seemingly endemic to kids today: handling anxiety and developing intrinsic motivation.  Ned's research underlines a surprising paradox: when we try t...

This week we bring a hopeful message from your parenting future: it gets easier. Our listener Kristen went on our Facebook group page with this challenge: The second part of your life begins when your kids can get dressed to go outside in the snow by themselves and play out there without adult supervision. What's your version of “the second part of your life begins…”?  In this episode, we talk abo...

Today's question comes from Elizabeth: How do you address sneakiness? Having some trouble with rule-breaking lately. Things that are not totally off-limits but do have limits, like candy or screens, are appearing in bedrooms after the adults go to sleep. It's driving me batty and I'd appreciate any advice! Sneakiness in our kids can really set us off as parents. The idea that our children would di...

2020: seriously, you guys. What was THAT? In this episode we look back at a very problematic year, and toast our survival as we acknowledge our many struggles. We review what we've learned/ hope to learn/ hope to one day never ever think about again. We also discuss what we learned from some of our favorite episodes of 2020, and have gathered them in a playlist here:https://open.spotify.com/playli...

After four years of doing this podcast, we know a lot about each other. In this episode, we ask the burning questions that remain, like: If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? Who is your celebrity crush? (warning: #oldilocksalert) What was your worst job ever? What do you, in 2020, want to be when you grow up? What would you grab in a fire? We also mention a f...

This week’s question comes from Sarah:  My 22-month-old daughter is an infrequent pooper. She regularly goes 3-5 days between bowel movements, but recently she's started holding it. She's been sitting on the potty to pee for the last month or two, but she'll jump up and say, "no!" when she feels a bowel movement. This means that when she does finally go, it’s… a lot. She had a bit of diarrhea a fe...

This topic came from Bradie on our Facebook page, who asked: What is one simple, basic, Christmas tradition that your family has? Don't come at me with baking gingerbread houses or cutting down your Christmas tree. I'm talking things like a favorite meal, the order and manner in which you open presents, a book you always read. Standards are low over here, people. Don't we all deserve an easy holid...

This week Margaret’s talking about parent-teacher conferences, after writing about her own most recent conferences on our social media. At one of the conferences, Margaret heard amazing things: her child is thriving, reading above grade-level, adored by all.  But she's also had conferences when she heard her kids were struggling, not sitting still, NOT performing at grade level. (Amy has also had...

This week we’re talking to Susan Katz Miller, author of THE INTERFAITH FAMILY JOURNAL, a hands-on journal that helps families learn how to best honor one another’s spiritual and cultural needs.  The holidays are always intense, and if your family is an intersection of multiple traditions, it can really ratchet up the pressure for perfection times two. Which is when it’s time to maintain perspectiv...